What makes a sociopath so dangerous?

The Short Answer:  
Their complete lack of fear or remorse from their actions.

The Longer Answer:
Read on …


Synopsis :: In mid-2007, I sent an email to my three siblings telling them if they did not stop telling horrendous and malicious lies about me, I would go public, as it was all I had left to do.

Things got quiet for almost two years, until I discovered from a relative, that she had a whole new impression of me … an ugly one. A few months later, I went live with my first site, which included our somewhat unique family name, unique enough that the site quickly began appearing as the first listing of results based on searching Kathy’s full name.

What happened next was beyond anything I thought possible, as Kathy and her disciples acted quickly to redefine “revenge” for me.


Sociopaths spend their lives manipulating others, all for selfish motives, yet they have the ability to make themselves appear to be some of the most impressive people around, including those of high morality and integrity. They seem to have many friends, yet none of those ‘followers’ actually know the real person, nor does the sociopath consider them a friend. Those “friends” only know the public persona, a very convincing personality that the sociopath creates to use and manipulate others.

The danger of ignorance.

Sociopaths are also very dangerous because of ignorance — not theirs, but everyone else’s. Virtually no one without real, first-hand experience is able to comprehend the reality of a cold-hearted, though seemingly charming sociopath.

A successful sociopath has their group of followers, but they will also have some who have been so completely suckered, that I call disciples. These are the people who have shown to be extremely gullible and easily manipulated.

They are such misguided believers that they become defenders of the sociopath, protectors from those persons they believe are trying to hurt their [sociopathic] friend  because of their popularity and success. They truly excel in living a life of denial, as well as setting a new standard for ignorance.

Note that the word ignorance  is based on the word ignore.  In my experience, that’s exactly what they do — they will ignore the truth. No matter how many times I stated that I held nothing but truths, all of which had substantiation (i.e., evidence), they still refused to look at the evidence. These disciples will lie to benefit the sociopath, and even spy for them. Yet they are so wrapped up and confused, that they truly believe that the bad people are the ones who are attempting to raise awareness.

Also, the disciples won’t even consider that they are being manipulated, used or suckered, nor do they believe they could ever be. They take it as a huge offense if they are told they are being used.

The disciples don’t believe that anyone they know is a sociopath, and the only bad people are those with false proofs.  Given their blind devotion, disciples are also very dangerous — just as sociopaths are — because the disciples will spy for the sociopaths.

How do I know this?

Unfortunately, this has all been learned through my personal experience growing up with sociopath siblings … and to make matters worse, marrying one.

If you’ve read my other posts here, you know that my oldest sister, Kathy, is a very malicious sociopath. It wasn’t until 2003, though, just after I turned 50, that a tiny slip-up led to her discovery. In the few short years since then, she was quite successful in maliciously destroying my character … so successful, in fact, that no one in my extended family will even reply to emails, let alone speak with me.

In July, I wanted to see if one of my cousins, Mary, had been sucked in, too, as I knew her older sister, Carol, had been. Since no one will speak with me, I needed to set-up something I could track. Before I began this site [Country-of-Liars], I put together another site with detailed substantiation, proving that my sister, Kathy, was telling nothing but lies about me. My stated goal was simply to clear my name.

I wrote a list-type email explaining what the site was about, and why I put it together. I also stated that I notified Kathy a week earlier about the existence of the site, but I had not heard anything from her. The email that I produce had all the appearances of being sent to a list, but in fact, I only sent to one person: Mary. It was all in perception … I wanted her to think she was sent it as part of a list.

Being a new site, it had few visitors, allowing me to see where the visitors were coming from.

The day I sent it to Mary, I had no visitors from her neck of the woods: Idaho — actually, if I had any visitors, there were no more than a few. The following day, though, the site got a lot of activity from one location — Mesa, Arizona. Coincidently, my sister, Kathy — the sociopath in question — lives in Mesa, Arizona. Kathy went directly to the URL I provided to Mary, and browsed the site for 35-45 minutes.

In turn, that makes Mary a disciple. Without even looking at a single page on the site, a site with nothing but substantiation to prove Kathy is a blatant liar, Mary forwarded the email to my sister, Kathy. She was protecting my sister, but from what? Truth? That’s all it had in it. Substantiated truth.

Why is it that people do not want to know the truth?

A sociopath’s revenge

Almost immediately, though, some very strange things began to occur. I have 16 years of Web experience, and nothing has ever come close to what happened over the next 10-days. Coincidence? I think not.

Up until I sent the email to Mary, googling my sister’s full name would bring up that site — the site I had just created about her — and list it on the very first page of Google results.

Between 24-48 hours later, that site quit appearing entirely in any Google search results on any page. Gone. Vanished. Blacklisted.

There’s no doubt in my mind that someone on the inside at Google had blacklisted it. I’ve never heard of Google doing such a thing, as I believe that would be called: censorship — not something that’s in Google’s corporate policy. As bad as that was, things quickly got much worse. I believe it’s called …

re-venge noun :: the desire to inflict hurt or harm in retribution.

I own and operate an award-winning Web site that has been online since 1995. It simply provides a free service in a vertical market … and it’s been my flagship site for about 15 years.

Three days after I sent the email to cousin-Mary, I received an email from Google at 2AM on a Saturday morning, an email that I did not see for another eight hours. It stated that one of Google’s bots (i.e., robotic PCs) that was visiting and indexing my flagship site, coincidently had been infected with malware (interesting, but “malware” is short for “malicious software”… and I have a very “malicious sister” who was probably behind it).

So to protect the general public from that malware, Google was notifying me that they were now blocking my site — something that had begun more than eight hours earlier.

Once Google blocks a site, all search engines do. Only one person has ongoing access to that site, and that would be me. The public cannot add anything to the site, and Google is my only advertiser on the site.

I included the advertising notation because Google’s block page refers to links that could go to sites intending to spread malware. Often, those links to the malware sites are advertisers links — albeit false and misleading advertisers — but just about the only links pointing out of my site are from advertisers. And all the ads on my site are fed through Google’s ad program … Google is my only advertising provider.

Google would not provide any details to me, such as where on my site the malware supposedly infected their computer. They were in no apparent rush to remove the block, even though I was unable to find anything malicious on the site. Even when I had other services scan the site, none of them could not find anything malicious, either, but they said it was their company policy that they maintained the block as long as Google did. I was getting that “Big Brother” feeling.

Apparent Sabotage

I awoke on day three to find my site was still blocked, so I called the corporate offices of Google. Have you ever tried to find a phone number for Google? I do believe it’s the one and only thing you cannot find by googling.

The person who answered said there was no one at Google corporate who could speak with me about the block, and then he even stated, with a bit of a chuckle, that Google can’t and doesn’t block sites. That’s precisely when I asked to speak with his supervisor. He told me he could not transfer me anywhere, and eventually he just hung-up on me.

Then, on day four, I got my biggest surprise. My Web hosting provider (DreamHost) is in the Los Angeles area, and has been my only hosting provider for the past four years. When I pulled up some records, though (curiously, on a Google page), those records indicated that my site was being hosted by two hosting providers — DreamHost … and very suspiciously, by Google.

Without obtaining my approval, nor even notifying me, someone had copied my entire site to Google’s servers … which means that one or more people inside Google had complete and unapproved access to my site … and what could be a legitimate reason? There is none. What could be an illegitimate reason? How about installing malware so as to sabotage the site?

They were able to do anything they wanted to, and then send a googlebot to get infected. At that point, the warnings and site block would kick-in automatically. How suspicious that this all took place while my site had been copied over to Google servers

I immediately inquired at DreamHost. It wasn’t until I showed them a copy of the page that they became believers. They never experienced anything like it, but, since it was Google, they did not know what they could do. Their feeling mirrored mine as something was not on the up-and-up.

I certainly doubt that all sites, world-wide, found to have suspicious software, would be transferred automatically to Google’s servers. That would be ludicrous. I was not supposed to see that information, and I’m sure someone was betting I wouldn’t. I was logged into my Google account, and was navigating through pages I’d never been to before, when I discovered the dual-servers … something so remote that I could have easily missed, as I did the first time I looked at the page. It was just a line of text, on a page filled with text, and buried in the middle of the page.

No one has ever been able to provide a legitimate reason as to why my entire site was copied over to Google servers. I was down for almost 100 hours, and as you can see, the impact was immediate, and potentially hurt me in the long-run, too. It certainly smells of revenge. It’s not something I ever felt that Google was officially behind. But having grown up in Silicon Valley, with family still living there — family who supports my sister Kathy — it doesn’t seem very remote that someone working for Google is a friend of my sister’s, or my cousin’s. At the very least, the activity was unethical and immoral, if not illegal.

ADDENDUM – MAR 2010: Although all this took place during the summer of 2009, it was still an unanswered question in my mind, as to why my site was copied to Google. And not just copied to a Google server, but it stated that my site was being hosted by Google, in addition to Dreamhost.

Enough time had passed that I decided to ask in Google’s Support Forums if what happened to my site was typical. Reading through the thread is eye-opening, as the very first person to respond, just another user, understood exactly what I was asking. But after that, I only got the run-around, attempts to derail my question, and suspiciously getting me to reveal the site I was referring to.

Yet the question was not, at all, site specific. It was a simple, general question regarding procedures — i.e., does Google do THIS, yes or no? Also, read the last entry in the thread, which is mine. Note what I asked, and how that brought everything to a stop.

Here’s THE GOOGLE THREAD.  NOTE: a Google account may be necessary to access their support forum.

Revenge is a sociopathic characteristic that I have personally felt the wrath of in many ways. I also discovered it as a diagnosed trait of my ex-wife, Julie, while reading her psychological evaluation. The clinical psychologist stated that Julie would justify even the slightest acts of revenge. My personal experience corroborates with the clinical evaluation. Julie was unpredictably violent.

When a sociopath feels the need to defend their public persona from being exposed as fake, their strategy (i.e., offensive-revenge) is usually to destroy their victim’s character, turning them into an outcast, which in extreme cases, could lead to severe depression and even suicide.

So a sociopath may not commit the violence themselves — especially if it would be geographically inconvenient — though they may lay down such an onslaught of heinous acts against their victim, that they could fully intend to drive that person to the person’s limit. They literally can destroy a person’s life, without a single night of lost sleep. They truly have no remorse, no guilt … if they believe it needs to get done, it’s just business.

The following occurred in early 1995, just as our divorce proceedings were winding down (after Julie threw in the towel, granting me full custody).

One Friday evening, as Julie was picking up the kids for the weekend, she let them run on ahead to her car, turned back to me, and while looking directly into my eyes and wearing a big smile, she casually slipped in a subtle death threat. She then turned and practically skipped back to her car. I don’t know what she saw in my eyes, but I saw very evil sincerity in hers.

I’ve been through more bad luck than most people ever face in this country, in a lifetime. And no, I don’t want pity. It’s rare when a day goes by that I don’t at least think about my own exit strategy.

Even though it has been 15 years since our divorce, Julie has done her most evil acts against me within the past few years — when I least expected it. Julie apparently was always waiting for opportunities, and based on time alone, I let my guard down.

What’s next?

After discovering the first sociopath in my life, all I did was open my eyes, research the Web to increase my knowledge and awareness, and discovered, quite easily, that there was more than just one. It also allowed me to look back and finally have answers … answers that fully explained the activities of certain people in my past … some I worked with, others I knew socially.

Due to their ability to charm and create a following, sociopaths are a natural for high places, such as politics, corporate executives, and Wall Street. You know at least one sociopath now, many throughout your life, as they’re some of the nicest, most impressive, not-genuinely charming people you thought you ever knew.

###

Related Posts:
A family of sociopaths :: Part 1
Protect yourself from any sociopath.
Sociopaths are all the same … right?
What makes a sociopath so dangerous?
Psychopath/Sociopath: Similarities Outweigh Differences
Discovering Your Best Friend is a Sociopath
How do you spot a sociopath?
Identifying a Sociopath
AUDIO: Evidence from Recorded Phone Calls
Do School Administrators Help Young Sociopaths?

 

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  1. Artist,

    I like the way you think! YOU need to be on a legal team and work for an attorney! Your talent and insight is PRICELESS!

    I’ve been keeping up with the Jodi Arias trial on HLN and she is a master manipulator and vindictive narcissist. They should reach a verdict Friday or early next week.

    The Prosecuting Attorney is doing an awesome job of PROVING she’s a vindictive narcissist and did not kill her ex boyfriend in self defense. She went there with a stolen gun and a PLAN; clearly premeditated murder.

    Yes Larry, I too had to look up ‘gas lighting’ and found the same as you did. And yes I do believe it’s a weapon of destruction, mass destruction, that can be used to successfully stop everyone from talking to one another and getting to the truth.

    I personally believe when a person uses ‘gas lighting’ on others it’s to keep them focused on the actions and deeds and words of others and NOT focused on the Sociopath. Clearly a diversion tactic.

    When the sociopath starts this THAT is the time to be looking into what the sociopath is doing behind everyone’s back!

    As Malone (Sean Connery) lie on the floor taking his last few breathes of life a fellow officer in the UNTOUCHABLES Squad knelt beside him, Malone (Sean Connery) asked him …. ‘What are you prepared to do?’

    Get prepared; you are NOT a defenseless victim! YOU have powerful weapons too! Learn what they are and USE THEM properly!

    The best force to fight off evil is good.
    When they are telling lies in your presence call ‘em on it. Do it right then and there, speak your peace as peaceably as you can but state the facts and do not let them get by with telling lies.

    IF they lay claim to possessing documentation on something ask to see it, ask every time you see them about it until you get that proof or they shut up about it. Point out the fact they have NOT PROOF. DO it in front of others, the sociopath HATES to be embarrassed!

    It’s difficult I know in the heat of the moment to keep your composure and not cower down and crawl off from embarrassment or go ballistic on them, but staying composed is Tops on the priority list. Never let ‘em see you sweat. Make them sweat instead. It will be a priceless life long memory you’ll cherish for the remainder of you life! AND it just might stop ‘em cold in their tracks and get ‘em to change their ways or …. they’ll leave you alone. Either way it’s a win win situation!

    Sincerely,
    Blacksheep

  2. Sandy,

    The incident on the roadway …. IF it ever happens again, head directly to the POLICE DEPARTMENT ….. DO NOT go anywhere else but there! THAT will show them you an’t gonna take no more of their BS. They’ll be afraid of getting caught and going to jail!
    If you do nothing but go in and use the bathroom, it will scare the bageebers out of ‘em!
    Then the ole ball is in YOUR court!

    If you would have pulled over and stopped the auto, they would have pulled over too and dragged you from your auto kicking and screaming and beat the crap out of you! I’ve seen it happen before and called 911, a 6 on one fight is NOT a fair fight! It’s revenge and should NEVER happen!

    People who participate in that type of abuse have lost all manor of control over their own lives. They let the manipulators take over everything.

    I’ve realized this morning that ‘gas lighting’ has been done to my poor Mother before she passed away and for about 18 years that I know of! Gas lighting is what is happening to my daughter as I type this and she will not wake up!

    I see clearly this morning the patterns of master manipulation of my entire family!

    VN in my family goes about ‘gas lighting’ with a vengeance. VN wants to live to see everyone fail and fail BIG TIME and also wants to KNOW VN caused it all. VN revels in the thoughts that VN has such power and control over all of us. VN actually BELIEVES VN has the birth right or is the heir apparent to all this all mighty ability VN thinks VN has over all of us. THE QUEEN BEE of the family and we should ALL bow down and kiss her feet for the privilege of even being related to her.

    I started changing the subject when VN would begin the BS. That stopped working and I’d leave the room and VN eventually began to follow me. That stopped working and I left the building! VN got the hint I was NOT going to participate in the VN crap in front of Mother. Mother’s last days should be spent with family all around that cared and not the bickering and fighting. I was NOT participating.

    Then again, my leaving is probably just what VN actually wanted so VN could bulley and coerce Mother. I should NOT have let that happen ever!

    I’ve always done things for people, especially family, out of love and care and concern for them; never for any type of payment or praise. I’m a care giver and have been all my life. For as long as my care giving served VN’s purposes I was just all right, no big scenes of praise or cards and letters of thanks, just alright, when I stopped serving VN’s purposes VN attempted to goad me into a verbal fight on the phone, a cussing match, and tried to record it. I heard the machine click when VN pushed the button and I kept my cool and didn’t let her goad me into bad behavior in front of my Mother who was very ill. I eventually hung up on VN. VN called back and gave Mother hell for over an hour because I hung up on VN’s so all mighty important bossy ass. Mother asked me WHY I hung up on VN and I simply stated enough had been said and I had other more important things to do than listen to the sound of the Bosses voice as I did her list of cleaning chores at Mother’s home for FREE.

    VN tried everything you can imagine to get me to stop helping my mother. VN even called my home on more than one occasion at 2 A.M. and wanted to ‘talk’ for two hours about trivial stuff. What’s on TV, the latest country song, new game sites, VN’s cat scratches, etc. All done to get me sleep deprived and not alert to what VN was up to. When I’d stay at Mother’s for weeks on end, I’d sit up in the dark and type notes about the events of the day so I could refresh my memory on the calls and the conversations with VN if I ever needed to; a diary of sorts.

    I was Mother’s first born and the last child VN had to run off from Mother so none of us would be wise enough to find the forgery.

    VN jumped my youngest sibling over money owed Mother and threatened to stomp YS in Mother’s front yard. YS told Mother she’d never darken her door again for as long as QUEEN BEE was there. She said,’ Mother, I’m a Christina now, I go to church and I take my children to church like you did us and I’m trying to live right and I am NOT going to subject my children to VN’s actions, attitude and mouth. VN makes your home sound and feel like a bar atmosphere and I’m not a bar queen like VN!

    My YS didn’t realize the entire drama was created for the sole purpose of isolating Mother from the entire family so that VN aka QB could manipulate about $100,000 out of Mother in bank loans on Mother’s home; PLUS covering up and hiding the forgery; took me 18 years and Mother’s death to figure out VN’s scheme/diabolical plans.

    VN is now in another state where VN has lived since about ’84, hundreds of miles away, no family associates with VN except my blinded daughter and my brother’s wife. Three sibling still living and seven nieces and nephews and their families VN could have a good relationship with and NO ONE associates with VN because of VN’s past actions.

    Karma is a bitch if YOU are.

    If we live good decent honest lives God will let us watch as the gas lighting manipulators fall from power. Just remember God is great, God is good. Be thankful there IS a God!

    Sincerely,
    Blacksheep

  3. Larry,

    I just realized my VN sibling has pack mentality! VN needs a pack of people believing VN and doing for Vn all the time. It’s part of the plan, it helps keep VN’s hands clean. The diciples do all the dirty work while VN takes all the credit and stirs up the crap.

    Yep pack mentality!

    Sincerely,
    Blacksheep

  4. Larry,

    I also just realized that ‘gas lighting’ is the ONLY weapon the sociopath has!

    Truth is on OUR SIDE not theirs!

  5. Sandy,

    To quote you …..
    The sociopath sister, (SS? good abbreviation) in an email response asking her the name of a counselor that she and I both saw 20+ years ago (although separately for different reasons), and telling her I’ve been hiding the fact that a neighbor boy had molested me from the age of about 4-5 until I was 10 or 11, said, “Don’t delve into your childhood, just forget the past and move on.” This has been her motto all her life.

    Let’s walk through this with a little common sense okay?
    A councilor has rules and regulations to follow or they lose their privelage to be a councilor. Telling what one person said n a counciling session to another person in another counciling session is against the rules. What is said in a private coumciling session is to be kept private.

    Talk with the councilor in question here and ask if this ‘story’ was told. A councilor would never tell someone to NOT delve into the past. COuncilors help people deal with their past. Not hide from it.

    I suspect it’s just that …. a ‘story’, an untruth, all told to defame you and make you look like the broken one, the one with secrets to hide. So people will not look at the socioath so closely!

    Think about it and do some asking.

    Sincerely,
    Blacksheep

  6. Thanks everyone for trying to understand what i have been trying to express!
    You Go Blacksheep!! You are a good person!!
    You are what i call, “Standing Tall”.
    Larry, thank you for reading my post and believing me that there is such a thing as Gas Lighting, and then verifying it, and then posting a good concise definition of it. Pathetic how rampant and destructive it is.
    No wonder the military uses Gas Lighting, huh?
    OK now, SEE WHAT I MEAN? GASLIGHTING IS A PATTERN. Liars have to use patterns because they cannot remember their lies otherwise. Weird how people do it and they don’t even know what it is called, isn’t it? Weird how they follow the same pattern but have never met each other.
    Take care everyone!
    Artist

  7. Artist, Larry and all,

    All people every where need to listen and verify what’s being said to them.

    Nurses are trained to listen to the family of a patient, listen and observe the patient and report their observations to the doctor.
    They are NOT there to diagnose, that’s the doctors’ job.

    We need to train ourselves to listen and observe situations/drama while it’s happening/being created and even make notes or keep a diary of events when dealing with the sociopaths in our lives.

    We also need to stop making the same mistake I keep making and that be letting my own personal feelings get in the way of listening and observing.

    Sociopaths use the shock factor often to shut us up and get us to crawl off somewhere and be quite. We need to stop that too!

    We all need to be more like the old farmers duck, if it don’t rain, I’ll walk. Don’t let anything that is said get to you or shake you in any way. Stand Tall (thank you Artist!) Stand Strong, Stand Firm when asking for verifications, all this combined and done repeatedly will shake the sociopath to their very core!

    Vindictive Narcissist in my life has shut up and gone back to home in another state and no more contact what so ever when confronted in court and proven in court not once, not twice but THREE TIMES (and we an’t done yet!) VN is a liar.

    We’ve been told by local law enforcement in two counties VN will not be allowed to press charges on anyone ever again as VN has been branded a liar in court! At a guess VN is branded a liar in home county also as papers were served there also.

    It’s hard to defend one’s self in the heat of the moment, but if you can muster up the strength and courage to do it just once in front of others, others will begin to listen and observe and do as you have done and band with you eventually. You’ll have people coming to YOU with info to help you!

    It’s a slow struggle of a process but it can and should be done!
    Hiding is NOT an option, keeping quiet is NOT an option, so get up get to listening and observing and kick some sociopath behind!

    Sincerely,
    Blacksheep

  8. Do these SP’s get theirs? My husband (been going through this divorce for three years) is doing character assassination on me and when and will karma catch up to him? He is 52 years old!

  9. Becca,

    Anything he puts in writing he best be prepared to show proof of in a court of law.

    If he gave deposition or answered interrogatory questions he best have proof of every allogation he made against you or he can be held liable for it in court and fined and made to pay restitution to YOU for the damage he’s done.

    Vindictive narcissit sibling made allogations in writing via answers to interrogatory questions that my sister L had her son taken from her for neglect, VN can’t ptove that as it NEVER happened, our attorney has checked court records and no such thing ever happened. VN also stated in writing that L owed back rent on a home court house documents say L owned so how could L owe rent on a home L owned? VN also stated L owed $800 in back electric bills, a check with the electric company found the electric was never that expensive nor was it ever cut off and cut off day is the 20t of each and every month. VN also stated that L owed a big phone bill and a check with the phone company found no such record.

    Make him PROVE his allogations and when he can’t and the judge slaps him with a big fine and maybe some jail time and restitution he’ll learn to not let his alagator mouth over ride his humming bird behind!

    Old dogs can learn new tricks. Sit be the first one and shut up be the next one !~)

    Sincerely,
    Blacksheep

  10. I am at the end of my rope…I’ve been online searching for some sort of help/guidance and stumbled upon this site. I don’t know where to begin because it goes so far back. Here goes: I have come to the realization that both my mother and oldest brother are some sort of sociopath/narcissists. I am shaking as I write this because I am an emotional wreck. We were raised in what was painted as a picture perfect family. My sisters and I didn’t see the unhealthy family situations until we were in our 40′s. It’s as though we were in a cultish/brainwashed situation until then. Our father is a great man but has been controlled by them, beat down by them, etc. for so long he is basically vegetative. Every checklist of characteristics that I read is hauntingly accurate, sickening to say the least. In an effort to “find my way out of the web”, I made the mistake of trying to address unhealthy, ongoing situations within the family. The more I learn, I find that that is the worst thing to do because you will never win. The immediate issue that I am struggling with is being under attack, accused of things that aren’t mine to own. My “healthy minded” family members are being sucked into the accusations being leveled against me and I fear that once again, I am losing them. My mother and brother are SO able to plant the seeds of doubt in such a subtle way. I have spent the last two days in bed, feeling like I can’t keep picking myself up. I have always been such an optimist, but I am just so weary. They just keep pecking at my heart…I need some thread of encouragement.

  11. Hi everyone;

    I’ve been reading all the posts on here and have found them fascinating, that is of course not belittling the suffering visited upon you all by vindictive sociopaths. My thoughts are with you all and hope that by now (2-3 years later) some of you have found some peace of mind!

    Let me describe my own circumstances for you all: Our family imploded very early (I was 10 youngest sibling was 7), largely due to my father who had a rough time of it in his life, I would not describe him as a sociopath per-se, merely a narcissistic and incredibly selfish personality (both “qualities” sociopaths possess admittedly). Needless to say he destroyed the family home environment and with it the “Family unit”. Eldest 2 siblings went independent (aged 17 & 19), youngest 3 moved away with mother (aged 7, 10{ME} & 13). I have since grown up (now 35), bought my own property and completed my University/College degree in psychology.

    The sociopath in question is my sister (13 year old from paragraph above, now 38). Her personality has always been very different from the rest of the siblings, she would manipulate situations/blatantly lie/tell half truths/say things to cause 7 year old nightmares/etc etc, but up to a point you might say this was “expected” in some cases, that these behaviours would eventually phase out as child matures. This has not been the case however…

    Aged 17; Sociopathic sister (SS was it?) attempted to convince her two siblings (myself & younger bro) that our mum was going mad, her sanity was really in question and something needed to be done about it. These conversations were isolated to us, none of these issues would be spoken about in the presence of mum. To contextualise for you all: due to various unacceptable behaviours exhibited by SS (bringing total strangers home to sleep with her, mum met one on her landing totally naked in the morning as he exited the toilet, drug use/dealing pot from the house, general anti-social conduct like not sharing chores and certainly not condescending to contribute to the utility bills/groceries despite consuming the most food in the household). These issues were tackled at the times in question causing massive upset and discord to all involved. For the benefit of everyone else, mum was considering asking SS to move out (something she felt comfortable enough to have confided in me). To be continued…

  12. I came home from work one day to find my sister crying in the hall hysterically, my brother ashen faced and obviously in shock. Mum had “attacked” SS, this had been observed by YS. SS immediately claimed that we needed to contact the relevant authority and have mum “sectioned” for her own and our protection. I refused this “order” and stated that once mum had returned to the home, I would discuss the situation with her myself, before reaching a conclusion as I already suspected “Gas lighting”, which is something my father engaged in on occasion, so was already familiar to me…something stank…SS was describing somebody I did not recognise and calling them mum!

    Mum returned, of course SS testimony was complete BS, the whole thing had been an elaborate performance for YS’s benefit. Mum had been antagonised non-stop for almost 2 hours by SS, YS returns home and BANG (push the detonate button). This explanation was far more plausible under the circumstances, as a reaction the the anti-social behaviour of SS. As you can guess…this was a strange day for me….but very educational.

    As I considered what had occurred, I started to revisit some of the other childhood experiences with a “clean pair of eyes”, this was not an isolated incident..but in fact just the most recent. I think it was at this point that I decided to study Psychology (so ironically something positive arose from the negativity).

    Over the years SS has continued in much the same way. She dragged her college/Uni courses out for 10 years instead of the usual 4/5, enabling her to “Blag” (UK phrase for coerce something) years of student support finance. At the same time claiming jobseekers allowance (Welfare), which is totally illegal as you have to be available to work, can’t do that if you’re in lectures, she managed it because mum was convinced to let her use mums home address for cheques to be posted to, welfare went to SS home address. Already mum is unwittingly an accessory to financial fraud (something many, many of you have described on this very forum!) I have so many stories I wish I had time to disclose to you all, but am already on post#2!

    Over the years she has “morphed” and altered, chameleon-like in her attempts to manipulate and control the emotions and thoughts of others. She has tried using 1)Family loyalty 2)Guilt trips 3)Suicide{Faux} 4)Religion & 5)Life threatening illness to name just a few. Throughout all of this; many behaviours remain, so let me detail them for you.

    She has never worked, always claimed welfare/benefits, she is never to blame for anything..it is always someone else’s fault (whatever happens), the world owes her, you/I owe her, nobody has suffered the way she has, self-obsession (I cannot recall a single occasion where she asks me about me), gifts are second-hand items she no longer wants, at family gatherings she never contributes financially (seriously..not thinking of bringing a bottle or some food to an xmas family gathering!), she never has any money (spent £1500 on a new computer she needs for her “art”, which is also the reason she cannot get a full time job-she is a struggling artist) I could go on…

    The capacity for self-delusion and manipulation of historic events is astounding (classic gas-lighting), as is the complete lack of empathy and concern for the plight and suffering of others. Through all of this…one thing has given myself/mum the upper hand….the truth. Like Larry suggests; arm yourself with the truth, challenge them AT THE TIME OF THE EVENT, if you allow the lie to exist EVEN REMOTELY it will become a truth to them and part of the web of lies. I hope reading this helps somebody else, it was cathartic to get some of it out in the open! If anyone would like to correspond, let me know on here (as long as Larry condones it). Thanks for reading…Won’tgetfooledagain!

  13. Have you ever considered publishing an e-book or guest authoring on other websites? I have a blog based upon on the same information you discuss and would love to have you share some stories/information. I know my readers would appreciate your work. If you are even remotely interested, feel free to shoot me an e mail.

  14. Hi “Restore my vision today”, the email addresses do not appear to anybody but Larry, if you would like me to correspond directly we need an alternative solution…Is there a public email you are comfortable disclosing on this public forum?