I could write a huge amount of information on this but my younger sister fits the criteria for sociopathic tendencies, as well as severe chronic lying. It took me too many years to realize that trying to maintain a relationship that left me feeling confused and emotionally drained was not my responsibility to maintain. God teaches us to be peace-makers, not peace-keepers. In other words, I felt bound to the laws of family guilt (and I still get that from them) but I do not feel bonded to her in the way a normal sister relationship should because of her lifestyle and incessant lying.

It’s been very frustrating that even though we are extremely different, much of our family still naively labels it as simple “sibling rivalry.” The last straw for me was explaining to the truant officer who called me about her oldest three children dropping out of high school (yes, three high school dropouts…) that I was not “bi-polar” and have never been diagnosed with same. I have had to explain this to four others in a small town and she apparently spread the lie due to the great relationship I have with my six beautiful and emotionally healthy children by saying that the “reason they are such good kids is because they are afraid of their mother (me) because she suffers severe bi-polar disorder.”

Hmmm…I am terribly sick of my family excusing her by saying, “Well, she’s just insecure about her own life.” She had also spread the rumor that my marriage is horrible, that my husband has cheated on me. She has brought false protective orders to every man she has married or dated, has borrowed and not repaid just about everyone she has had relationship with, and has moved over 28 times in 20 years.

She has purchased three Siberian huskies with money she couldn’t afford to begin with and (honest to God), she has had to have all three of these pets “put down” by the vet because of viciousness. Her four children are emotionally neglected (again, her eldest three are high school dropouts and chronic substance abusers – she allowed them to do it in their own bedrooms) and anytime I tried to confront this, it was always met with, “Well, she’s not perfect but she does love her children.”

So many times I wanted to scream that no one is perfect and ask what definition of love they are referring! What I have listed already is just a very brief synopsis of the lifestyle she has led – I could probably write a book and people wouldn’t believe it. For my own peace of mind, though, I sadly have severed all ties with her and I will always feel a little sad that I’ll be that person who tells people in the future that, “My sister and I haven’t spoken for several years and probably never will.”

Thanks so much for writing your stories – it’s made me realize that I am not alone and that it’s okay for me to have a life….

First off, thank you for chiming in on other people’s comments and offering your insight. This is truly a painful subject, and the more input the better.

I need to question your age range of 12-15 as the time people reach their legal and moral age of accountability. I have to take sharp opposition to that. Kids in that age bracket may think they know everything, but they are in no way completely accountable … legally or morally. They’re just kids and still in training. They will do stupid things that they would never do later in life. And in those years, parents and peers have a lot to do with their actions. It’s a time of learning.

It’s obvious your Christianity is very important and drives you to make the right decisions … I respect that. But I want to add that so too are those who follow Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Mormon and many other religions. The US is primarily a Christian nation, but look at the wrongs we’ve done to others, recently and throughout the nation’s history. It’s hard to know all the facts and not be ashamed.

This site is not about religion, but since you brought it up I wanted to add my two cents. I was raised in a very religious family … the majority being sociopaths.

I assume you were being facetious when you said you firmly believe sociopaths stay up all night. Trust me, they don’t.

I do hope your own family situation improves.

Thanks again.

As a God fearing christian I get up each day and say a prayer; Thank you for this day and everything in it. I pray for the sick the and the less fortunate and I ask fo strengh, courage and knowledge to make it through the day, then I get up and put feet on those prayers.

As a Christian when the devil tempts me and tries to sway me I simply say; get thee behind me satan and ask the Lord for strength and courage to move on and always do what is good and right in HIS sight.

I firmly believe that the sociopath is awake all night plotting and planning and covering their tracks/behavior patterns and finding ways to blame everyone for their horrible behavior, then when they get out in the world they look for ways and means to set their diabolical plans into motion rather than doing a decent days work, helping others and paying it forward.

My sociopath sister siblling has recently made my mother whom the sociopath sibling sitter placed in a nursing home/rehab facility look like she’s incompetent and unfit to handle her own affairs and made me out to look like a liar/sneek/thief. However, when I offered up phone numbers for the Dr. Offices and explained the circumstances sociopath sibling sister was caught with the shit stiring (goading) stick in her hand! Her plan blew up in her face and made HER look childlish and petty and greedy and uncaring for our mother’s well being.

It wasn’t easy to take a deep breath and exhale and explain the truth or prove that what I was saying WAS the truth, but I did prove that I could in fact be trusted.

Now I have the task of proving that my sociopath sibling sister snowed our mother into believeing a pack of lies that began via a cell phone conversation for the entire purpose of making mother and I both look unbelievably and publicly untrustworthy.
Sociopath sibling sister has denied our mother previously planned medical treatments/doctor appointments under the pretense that the treatments/dr visits were scheduled too soon and were NOT needed and that I could not be trusted to transport or even ride with our mother. Clearly an isolation tactic from my stand point.

Denying the elderly medical treatment is by today’s standards elder abuse/neglect and is punishable by jail/prison/stiff fines.

There is currently a case in the K.C. MO. area in which a son denied his elderly mother care/treatment and his mother died because of it. He now faces life in prison simply because he didn’t want to mess with taking his mother for treatment, he wanted her estate and look what’s happened to him because of his greed. He allowed greed to cloud his judgement and his care and concern for the one who gave him life and never abandoned him.

I remembered one of Larry’s many lessons given here ….
Arm yourself with truth!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all!
If you posess the desire to do good and have the spare time, become an advocate for someone who is in need of one.
A child, an elderly person, an unwed mother/father.
Remember, we reap what we sow ten fold.

GOD BLESS US EVERYONE!!!!

Sincerely,
Blacksheep

It’s so hard dealing with these people. Part of you is just SO furious and part of you just wishes they would see how much pain they caused you. It’s taken me a long time to realise they are incapable of such a human act. It’s simply beyond them.

It is extremely difficult to extricate ourselves from their sick personality and the subsequent emotional reactions that keep us tied to them. But we battle on!

Larry’s advice on this website has been great. I guess the thing we all can do is control our reactions to them, because, I just realised this, our emotional pain is like food to them. They want us to react badly to them.

Thanks for the reply Blacksheep!

I had a long talk with my 40 year old son yesterday and explained to him how fortunate it was that I survived. Most children would have killed themselves, I did not, I struggled but I made it and I’m still here today.

The sociopath sibling; I have uncovered a trail of public records dating back to 1989 and found some forged papers which I know the sociopath sibling persuaded her disciples to put together. Sad part is they got the dates backwards! I also got certified copies of marriage license to PROVE who DID NOT sign the documents.

I’ve had POWER OF ATTORNEY thrown in my face the very last time. The sociopath sibling siter has wedged herself between my mother and I and stopped me from spending a quiet day with my mother taking her to her doctor appoinment and she LIED and got caught in her lie by the nursing home! I didn’t have to say or do anything!

God is great and if you’re REALLY REALLY GOOD …. He’ll let you watch!

My 76 years old mother informed me yesterday that sociopath sibling sister wants to apologize to me. I very seriously doubt that. I’m going to tell my mother my terms for this fake ass apology and they are as follows …..

I’ll make a list of ALL THE PEOPLE sociopath sibilng sister has told lies to and she can apologize IN FRONT OF THEM, all at the same time! IF she’s willing to do so, I’ll accept her heartless apology.
(I’ll not tell anyone this last part …)
Then I’ll give her a real good case of lettin’ alone for I will NEVER EVER associate with her again!

If people really knew the truth about her dysfunctional personality they would probably be aghast and find it very difficult to believe that she killed 4 of my pets with her bare hands, almost daily emotionally and mentally tortured me and my father who turned to drink and subsequently died of cancer (and guess who was administering the morphine when he was sick?), turned my father and me against each other and encouraged him to hit me with a strap…I could go on.

She has somehow managed to convince the rest of her family that “Poor ……” has such a hard life with an alcoholic husband and a uncontrollable daughter. She is quite literally insane and without a conscience or soul.

Tricks don’t last always and even though it seems like the sociopath is getting away with it if you stay calm and pay attention you can gather enough evidence to bring them down …. evidence is what is needed

these people base eveything on someone else taking the fall they commit the crime and want someone else to pay for it its time these criminals do their own time and its time the hunted become the hunter and take back what belongs to them their reputation, happiness and life

@cathy the website you refer too seems fake and it seems to be someones attempt to play sociopath and then direct others to said website in order to insinuate another is the sick mind #just sayin, but besides from that the abundance of information I have gathered here is amazing !

I have found that when a sociopath knows where you have been on the web they will follow you and then spread their cancerous slander leaving you to look like a mental case

Your post sounds like my first marriage! my ex had to be right about EVERYTHING! In the mind of my ex they were right up there with GOD and most of the time actually tried to convince me they were smarter than GOD or actually God himself.

You need to find a safe house and remove youreslf and your children from the home. You need to put a great deal of distance between yourself, your children and your sociopath husband.

Try and remember all the events surrounding the time he tried to kill you and the purchase of the life insurance. Collect any and all documentation or proof of this event with you and keep it in a safe place for reference later. Talk privately with a local police detective and take any and all documentation with you to every meeting with that detective.

From what you’ve written here my guess would be that he is attempting to get YOU to kill yourself so he will not go to prison for doing it himself. DO NOT fall for that!

This internet is a wonderful place! Try and locate a safe house out of your state with litterally HUNDREDS of miles between youself and this sociopath, take your children with you! DO NOT tell anyone of your plans to do this as SOMEONE might tell him and he would most definately harm you and possibly the children too! I know, been there done that.

Get your head screwed on straight and get a well mapped plan of action and get the hell out of there and take your children with you.

If he has had this behavior for 16 + years you can bet your boots he will never see the need for him to change.

If you do decide to get out, be very careful when leaving. DO NOT take large amounts of stuff out of the house that he will immediately miss. Box up stuff that can be quickly grabbed and taken at a moments notice. Stash plenty of cash where you can grab it as you leave. DO NOT use bank cards or credit cards when you leave, they are too traceable and he WILL find you. Clothes for two weeks, photo albums that are precious to you, birth records for yourself, your children, your marriage license, copies of that insurance policy, stuff all your documentation in a safe place away from the house so you can grab it and run. Have the detective make copies of everything to keep with him.

You’re always in my prayers!

Blacksheep

i am married to a sociopath right now. i am stuck at the moment. my husband tried to put life insurance on me and kill me so he could be with his girlfriend. it is so crazy that i did not realize he was a sociopath for years. when i met him 16 years ago i was a happy, love life, type person. now i suffer with severe depression. i take an anti depressant, sometimes i can not get out of bed. i tried to kill myself once.

he lies to me about everything even when it makes no sense for him to lie. whats wierd is when i am around him i get this overwhelming feeling of hopelessness, and i feel so down, so depressed. but when he is not around i feel ok. he has ruined my credit, and ruined everything i have ever tried to accomplish. he always makes fun of me and blames me for everything. he has cheated on me for our entire marriage and is still cheating.

i get scared sometimes that he might meet someone else that he thinks he can use and tries to kill me again. i do feel so hopeless. i noticed it is extremely important to him that people see him as a saint. he gets very angry if i threaten to expose the real him. i don’t want pity either but it is very comforting to be a part of this site.

one time he asked me if he could borrow my birthday money to buy pizza and mcdonalds for himself. he promised he would give me the money back but when he got paid he told me he was keeping my birthday money and putting it towards bills, which i already pay more than my fair share. i said to him but you did not pay bills with it, you bought yourself food. then he told me off. i was so hurt i just started crying. that is so low, how could anyone take their wife’s birthday money, like that. i could never do anything like that to anyone.

he has athlete’s foot and he will not treat it. my oldest son caught it and ended up with sores all over his feet, and he had to wear slippers for a week. my husband kept telling me, very rudely, that he never walks around barefoot. but for years i could not figure out why my feet were always burning and itching. isn’t it crazy how i believed him? for the past five years i have to spray the bathroom floor with bleach after he is done in the bathroom. i also have to spray the shower. my husband will not clean up after his athlete’s foot. it is so depressing.

thanks for the website