He is very charming but has no empathy, when I suffered a head injury recently he initially made it into a joke, then tried to make me believe it was very serious. He has been violent, then says I fell over, that he can’t remember the incident. Recently, he went on a ski holiday when a group of our friends (I don’t ski) and at the eleventh hour told me that a female friend from his running group was going too.

When I got very upset he said my behaviour was ‘not commensurate with the situation’. During the holiday, I became more and more depressed and eventually emailed and telephoned the woman’s husband. Now he says I have created a terrible situation. He tells me that friends who have supported me over this are doing so only because they know I am out of control. He has said people in our village dislike me. Yet when I say I will leave he breaks down and cries.

Am I right, is this man a sociopath?
x

I’m in the same situation, with my 7 month old son. I don’t know how to keep my son safe, either. He spends each visit literally forcing my son to sit on his lap and gets a big kick out of my baby screaming for me and points out that if I hadn’t had a restraining order against him, the baby wouldn’t think he was a stranger, so the baby wouldn’t be hysterical when his father held him.

I know he’s warped, but he’s smooth- he almost convinces me that I’m crazy, or that things he did didn’t really happen, or didn’t really happen that bad. And I’m an adult. How’s my BABY gonna know what’s what?

After reading your words, I feel as if you described pure hell … and with my non-secular opinion, that’s where they’re all from. I know how unjust the court system can be. But then, look at the traits of a psychopath, and think about lawyers and judges. It’s all about power with little conscience. It’s truly frightening.

The most painful act my ex did to me and my family took place eleven years after our divorce. I made the mistake of leaving the proverbial door cracked open, and her evil rose again, as if right from hell. From that one unjust act, my life will never be the same.

Your sister needs you and all her loved ones to be there for her now. She’s lucky to have you. My philosophy has always been: never give up hope for the best outcome, but be prepared for anything less. That may not sound like uplifting advice, but it has helped me survive those things I had no control over.

Your sister needs you more than she’ll probably admit. I wish you both peace.

He was always “off”, socially unacceptable and elitist by his own definitions. He was extremely difficult to like but he was now family. After the first child, it was almost like he snapped – He had his education (PHD) and now he has his boy so he no longer had any need to be nice to my sister. The boy turned out to be autistic so he convinced her to have a 2nd child, (which she naively thought it might make the situation better)

After child number 2, the shit hit the fan. I don’t think that any explanation can even do justice to the way he demoralized and utter lay waste to her being.

She finally filed for divorce . . . And a whole new chapter in hate has begun. She wanted a “no fault” But he’s a sociopath with money and an expensive lawyer. His barrage of motions, insults, accusations and everything else imaginable has left her almost destitute with her own legal bills. She’s suffering health problems as well as nervous breakdowns, heart palpitations and anxiety attacks. All because he has unlimited access to a heartless legal whore that bills hourly.

Meantime, He’s taken my family’s money (long story). He’s driving my sister to an early grave and he uses his own children as tools.

We’ve done nothing but help him. We’ve loaned him money when he needed a down payment for a house. I’ve fixed his cars, fixed his house etc. He’s gotten so much from his association with my family. And now that he doesn’t need us. We are all enemies and he’s extending his accusations to my family of “alcoholics and deranged people”.

I know that he’s sick, but that doesn’t make it right and this shouldn’t even be legal. What’s worse is that his barrage of lies seems to be getting the stamp of approval from the legal system simply because his lawyer seems to be able to make his un-provable lies fly.

I hate him – I never thought that I would feel this way about a person but I find myself praying that he has a heart attack or falls in front of a bus and dies quickly. I sincerely believe that a world without people like him would be infinitely better. And on a side note, a legal system without “billable hours” would be infinitely more just. A system that shitheads like him can’t bribe – But that’s a pipe dream.

As you can tell, I’m exasperated and have absolutely no idea how to help her. Because we can’t get away from him. He’s here for at least another 13 years until his kid is 18. And I’m sure he will be exacting his revenge every minute.

What’s equally sad is that everything he’s doing to everyone else, he’s doing to himself. He’s aged 10 years this year. He looks like shit. I’d say that there’s a good chance that he’ll loose his 6 figure simply because he’s putting his all into hurting everyone else that have “wronged” him.

He needs to be exposed soon and I have no idea how to do it. He has no problem using his lawyer to do his bidding and suck others into his crazy financial drain. But he cannot be allowed to get his way with this. He’s getting worse and now he’s getting physical.

His name is Thomas F…*, for the last 18 months he has told thousands of lies to me and my friends and caused much pain and suffering.

What He Is Not:
A Navy Seal, a Millionaire, a Jet Pilot, a Resort owner.
He dose not own an airline and dose not have movie star friends.

What He Is:
A Compulsive Liar

=====

*Editor: I do not disclose anyone’s full identity. Sorry.

I know exactly what you relate in growing-up with a sociopath father. I was the whipping boy. I was the only one who received corporeal punishment, and it could have been for anything. My dad even made me kneel down in front of him to apologize, after he spanked me. I can remember that I believed his satisfaction was to hear me cry, so I wouldn’t.

I took it like a man, and probably took more than if I had begun crying, since that’s what he wanted to hear. It was more important to me, as a child, not to satisfy his narcissistic expectations, than to be hit a few more times. I did not think of it specifically that way at the time, but that’s what I did.

I believe that any “successful” sociopath — that is one who makes the most of his or her sociopathic-borne traits — has accepted they are different, likely even better, than everyone else, but I would doubt they look at it as a disorder. They do know they are on stage, and they are always ready to perform.

I would not think that many sociopaths consider much beyond that. They think of the bad people as those with the ability to expose their dark secrets. Those of innocence, as we are, represent danger to the sociopath. They will never let up on that risk.

That’s why I suggest getting small, such as making yourself invisible. The more they are reminded of you, the more damage they will likely do.

A sociopath doesn’t seem to have the normal feelings even for their own dhild.He projected on me, punished me for his bad behavior, said it was me, could convince anyone of the most outrageous lies, just because he said them.

I believe what is said that you can’t convince others that he is lying about you-even close friends, it doesn’t have to make sense either, they have a way of convincing their victims there is no other side of the story. Distance is the only thing that helps-just a little bit-and watch your back!

They are reassuring inasmuch as they make me feel that I am not alone. So far, my “sister” has blocked my ability to get employed and I have now been omitted from a family gathering this July 4th. I worked for her for many years and for this reason she is listed as an employer on my resume.

I would also like to add that you must be very, very careful in dealing with a sociopath. It has literally made me sick. It started as stomach pains while I worked with her and grew into an autoimmune disorder that originated from stress. The problem is that you cannot turn your body off from attacking itself. You can manage it but you cannot turn it off.

My advice to anyone dealing with a person like this is to RUN IMMEDIATELY as far away as possible!

Best of luck to you also and again, thank you for your comments.