Synopsis :: If you’re looking for the “cheat-sheet” of rules to identify a sociopath, this article is a must-read.
Google the phrase: “how to identify a sociopath” and you’ll find pages, upon millions of pages, with 1-10 lists, bullet-pointed lists, all written defining how to spot a sociopath, and what to do when facing one … sort of like the Web’s version of
Sorry, but my subject line is intentionally misleading, and is so to make a very important point — don’t be suckered. The Web is filled with new sites featuring short “how-to” articles, written by a new breed of amateur writers looking for their 15-minutes of fame, and to make a buck.
Non-jounalists, non-experts, and non-experienced individuals writing about very serious topics that they simply re-purpose from others like them … and it goes on and on.
More of these “public-reporting” Web sites are popping up all the time, allowing virtually anyone to write about topics without any sort of “check” on their sources or accuracy. If the Web has succeeded in spreading any character flaw, it’s got to be “gullibility.” Blind leading the blind?
I’ve read countless, misinformed articles on the topic of sociopaths, such as the one typical example above:
Some are so misguided, that I considered them dangerous if someone actually did what was recommended. On many of those, I added a comment warning other readers that by placing some of the suggestions into practice, they could place themselves into jeopardy, if not outright danger.
How difficult could it be to identify a sociopath?
Most sociopaths are not like Hannibal Lecter, but more in line with 
Bernard Madoff.
Although a fictional character, people usually relate a Hannibal Lecter-type demented deviant as representative of a sociopath.
Reality, though, is quite different.
Bernie Madoff was highly respected in the world financial market, so respected that when there was suspicion about his firm, those who raised the suspicions were almost laughed at. No real investigations were ever conducted.
But all during that time,
The malicious public persona of just one ‘nice’ old man.
The only reason he was caught was that the recession created a domino effect of withdrawals — withdrawals of money which actually did not exist. He even stole the life savings of his own children. No remorse. No guilt. Any apology would just be another lie.
So where do I turn?
If you truly want to know just how devious, transparent, and evil the inner workings of a true sociopath really is, you must be willing to take the time to read … and begin with a credible source. The only accurate accounts I’ve read are written by actual sociopath victims who have dedicated an enormous amount of time by creating their own blogs to document the details, from before discovery, to being thrown into hell as a victim.
And virtually every one of them states the same basic purpose: to shed light on the real dangers, to dispel the misinformation, and hopefully help others avoid what they didn’t. Many of those sites, such as this one, include a short bio of the writer. Two of my siblings are sociopaths, so my bio begins before I was born.
Conclusion: if anyone could learn to spot a sociopath in five or ten easy steps, how did Bernard Madoff fool the brightest financial and money managers, around the world, for decades?
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July 29th, 2010 at 22:04
Even if it WERE possible, what makes sociopaths like Madoff so successful is their ability to blend in. To hide. It’s how they keep themselves alive, to predate on the rest of us.
If there was a list of things you could look for, they would still do their damnedest to hide it — and many are so charming and quick-witted that they’ll put you at ease and make you start discounting things you could check.
July 31st, 2010 at 12:29
Well said, Isaac.
“Sociopaths” as we generally call them, are completely adaptable to their surroundings, and those they deal with. They have no intention to be identified, and if they become suspicious that someone has (even if they have not) that person’s life, now as a victim, will never be the same
April 27th, 2011 at 23:31
My 67 year old brother is a classic sociopath. He tormented, punched, dribbled saliva on my face, sworn at our elderly mother, physically punched me in the head twice whilst asleep, attacked me only five years ago but was knocked to the ground by myself, much to his surprise.
He still has not grown up. Since we both hate each other, we will never contact one another again. Even his second wife is blind to his true character and she is a vitriolic bitch to boot.
April 27th, 2011 at 23:51
Hi Dennis,
Your brother sounds like my sister. Her husband is blind and her biggest disciple. Or, in other words, he’s a big dumb ass. She’s without words.
September 6th, 2011 at 13:09
I just resigned from a job where I had to report in to a textbook sociopath, interestingly enough the person that appointed him is also a sociopath with narcissistic tendencies.
I regard myself as a well adjusted individual and someone that has always excelled in my work. I have a wonderful supportive family and a loving circle of friends, which should have given me some solid grounding when I came face to face with these evil people. The experience has been spine chilling to say the least. I started becoming suicidal, had dangerously high blood pressure and just decided to resign before they kill me! Interesting fact is that although me and my team reported them to human resources, it was blatantly ignored.
My advice, if you run into one of these individuals, back away slowly and run. You cannot beat them at their own game, they will chip away at your sanity until you are just a shell no one will recognize. Luckily two of my colleagues and myself managed to escape (with no alternate employment) and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Sad thing is that a couple of people remained behind with the hope that “tomorrow will be better”. It will not be better and I worry about them!!
September 9th, 2011 at 23:49
Lee, it is true evil, isn’t it? It is indeed so sinister that they can make good, honest, well-adjusted individuals questioning their own sanity.
Your friends that stayed behind did so on their own accord. You cannot add more weight to your own well-being by worrying about them. You need to focus on you and begin the slow process of healing and moving on.
You already made the toughest decision, and that was to resign. Surround yourself with your loved ones. Don’t look back, just focus on your future. Having dealt with the devil, you need to move forward with conviction.
Again, it will take time but you can do it. We’ll be here.
I wish you the best.
October 11th, 2011 at 21:59
Folks:I’m a little surprised that the author of this articulates that so little of value/merit is written on the topic, and yet fails to share “The Sociopath Next Door” bu Martha Stout, PhD. [sic]
October 13th, 2011 at 10:07
@ Michael S. …
First off, I have stricken your “Folks:” as this site is not your platform. But, luckily, it’s not too difficult to start one up yourself.
The author does what?
I’m always open to constructive criticism, but I sense that your intention is a bit mean-spirited, as well as incorrect. Does that make me angry … no, not in the least. I know people like you; you’re not very exclusive … but maybe somewhat pompous.
To be very candid, though, I smiled and just shook my head when I first read your words. Luckily, most people here want to contribute an experience, even if it’s a life-long experience. Yours does not contribute. Yours alleges.
Allow me to address your accusations …
I do hope this clears things up for you … I know I feel better.