If you suspect you are targeted by a sociopath, you MUST be proactive in gathering strong evidence to defend yourself … do not think you can gather it later. A sociopath’s skill is accumulating followers, blind followers, and their most devoted, those I’ve labeled disciples. When it comes time to prove your innocence, even having the best evidence will still prove a challenge to convince anyone already sold on your “guilt” — whatever they were made to believe.
Therefore, the most important asset a victim can have is an abundance of undeniable evidence … solid substantiation to support the truth. Your word against their’s has a foregone conclusion — you will lose. Virtually no one will believe your description of the sociopath’s activities, statements, or their real character, since that charming persona has already destroyed your character, made themselves look incapable of any such activity you claim, and likely made you out to be a dishonest jackass.
The sociopath will not lose
A sociopath’s goal is to protect their public persona — protect their real personality from being exposed — and nothing will get in their way. They need to make sure your credibility is destroyed, so if anyone does listen to you, they won’t believe you. Saying that it is truly a living nightmare doesn’t do it justice. Becoming a victim is indescribable, something I know all too well. But what quickly becomes a sad realization, is how shallow and gullible the typical person is. People will easily pass judgment on an innocent victim based upon nothing but hearsay.
There’s not much better evidence than having the sociopath’s own words recorded. And better yet, audio with video. Technology has reduced the size of video cameras for spy use, and hidden them in items as small as a working ball-point pen — that’s right, a video camera with audio in a pen.
Be patient … don’t try to force the sociopath to say anything. They’ll get suspicious, and stop talking to you.
Recording in Person
Back during my divorce in 1995, I carried a micro-cassette recorder in my pocket, recording all discussions with my then-future ex-wife, Julie. Having it in my pocket, though, without a suitable external mic, resulted in very noisy, hard-to-hear audio. But it was better than nothing.
Technology has advanced quite a bit since then, such as a typical iPhone or iPod can record 10 or more hours without stopping. Discovering that you’ve been targeted creates the immediate need to begin collecting the best evidence possible to discredit your predator. And I say “immediate” because by the time someone realizes that they’ve been targeted, it’s possible that the sociopath had a head-start of a year or more.
Recording Phone Calls Legally
In late January 1995, about three weeks after Julie moved out, I set-up a phone recording system to record the conversations I had with her. That was a Sunday. When I returned home from work the following day, I discovered that Julie was sneaking into my home during the day and taking things … as well as using the phone.
In her very first use of the phone with the recorder connected, she called her office and spoke with her assistant, Christopher. That was precisely when I discovered that Christopher was much more than her assistant. She noted early in the conversation that the phones had been moved around, to which they both discussed for a while, then concluded that I was probably recording calls. But once they reached that conclusion, they simply went on with their conversation.
In my state of residence, one can record any phone call when at least one party on the call is aware of being recorded. There does not need to be any notification, such as a 15-second beep, or any other announcement. Just as long as at least one person knows.
Acknowledgement of being recorded
This first 8-second clip is of Christopher addressing me directly on the tape, thereby indicating he knew he was being recorded … they both did. In any event, I did not intend to record them, as they were using my phone without permission, when Julie snuck into my home while I was at work.
Based on all these things, I believe Christopher’s following statement would have been an admission of acknowledgement, and would have worked against them if the case had gone to court.
“… take food.”
Julie called Christopher at work, and obviously from her first comment, she came to my house to take a drill.
The very next part, Julie asks Christopher if he can think of anything else she should take, and under her mumblings, he says “take food.” As you listen through to the end, pay attention to her reaction … she knew that I’d be home to feed the kids within the hour.
A Battered Woman? … or an Evil, Scheming Woman?
Listen closely to Julie in this recording. Does she sound like a frightened, battered woman, or woman just taking care of business? No one on this planet has ever seen any violence from me, including Julie. But Julie, herself, is unpredictably violent.
This allows you to hear how easily a sociopath will plan malicious lies to destroy an innocent person. Just business. Only six weeks earlier, she was trying to convince me to have another child with her.
“Break the Rules …. It’s Really the Way I Think”
What Julie really means here is: “Break the Law or whatever it takes.”
The following is one reason, I believe, why Julie’s sister, Lori, told me to get a restraining order to keep Julie away from DK and EK. Lori also said, “Larry, you need to get custody to save those kids.”
Lastly, pay attention, not only to what she said, but how she said it —
“… it’s Forcing me to Take the Kids and Run …”
… and this is another of Lori’s suggestions. In this clip, Julie blatantly lies by stating that I am making threats.
She continually destroyed my character by making me out to be a threatening, violent person, and did so with ease and without a hint of guilt. I do believe that this was all brought on by a mania, as she is also bipolar.
Take note, though, as to what she’s doing: Julie is making a threat to take the kids. That would be illegal.
As above, note her emotional swings — I think it’s both.
How Character Assassination Spreads
The following audio clip shows how easily character assassination spreads. Julie has to keep her credibility, so she has to stick to her lies … she continued it to the present.
1) The male voice is Christopher’s — he and I had never met, nor had we ever even spoken.
2) Christopher states that he has me figured out, yet he’s only repeating back to Julie the malicious lies that she’s fed him about me.
3) Julie agrees with him as if he figured it out on his own.
4) Ironically, even though he says that I’m controlling, he’s blind to see that he’s being controlled by Julie.
5) This provides more details as to the lies Julie was (and is) spreading about me to not just Christopher, but everyone, including my sister, Kathy. She must keep her story straight to avoid getting busted.
6) What Christopher stated about me is what he will tell others … and the character assassination simply continues.
Julie calls me
I’ve got many of these. This is a very typical call between Julie and me during that period.
She’s also lying here, as I knew she was not at “Jill’s house.”
“… play doctor with me … good, I like that.”
In 1995, I was granted full legal and physical custody of our four-year-old son, and two-year-old daughter. As soon as Julie discovered I was filing for custody, she threw in the towel.
My attorney asked me why she gave in so quickly. My response was simple and candid, “Because everything I told you was the truth.”
Six days after the divorce was final, Julie and Christopher married — she has since walked out on him at least once with a new man already lined up.
Five months after the divorce, my three-year old daughter, EK, whispered to me that she and Christopher play doctor together on her mom’s weekends.
I called the police the next morning, and we set up a meeting for both my kids with the state’s child protection services. The deputy confirmed he would be there, too.
In hearing that, I made one request of the officer, “Would you please be in plain clothes?”
His attitude changed immediately, and he answered with a very defensive: “Why?!”
“Because if they feel more comfortable, I think they’ll speak more openly with you.”
“I’ll see what I can do,” he replied. I could tell he meant, “No.”
He arrived in his full blue uniform. After the interviews, he said he couldn’t do anything else since they didn’t say much. And, get this, he was the deputy in charge of child abuse issues.
So because of that one cop’s arrogance, I had to let my daughter visit her mom that weekend, tormented knowing that Christopher, who works with kids in a middle school, was going to play doctor with EK.
What I didn’t know when I filed the complaint in the summer of 1995, was that I had a recording of Christopher asking my daughter to play doctor. All I was able to report in 1995 was that EK had whispered it to me. I had a lot of audio tapes, but since we didn’t go to trial, I just never listened to them all.
While preparing another defense from another law suit filed by Julie in 2006, I discovered the recording. Julie filed a completely bogus law suit against me because she discovered I knew much more about her background and activities than she thought I knew.
So, because of that paranoia-driven fear of being exposed, Julie immediately went into a sociopath’s “offensive-revenge” in which she completely perjured herself in a court-filed complaint, and to summarize this for now, she kidnapped my daughter. I believe kidnap means to illegally take a child (i.e., any aged human), and that’s what she did — with the court’s blessing. There’s too much to get into it here, but I will go into detail in the future. So, yes, a sociopath can manipulate the courts, too.
So, this is part of the phone call from 1995, that I found in 2006. No “authorities” ever heard this recording (not that it would have made any difference).
When my son attended Rising Starr Middle School where Christopher is the librarian, he told me that Christopher had a deeper voice at school than at home. Hmm, now why would someone like Christopher want a job that kept him around children?
Updated & Revised: 18 Apr 2010