This is one man’s very real story — my nightmare — beginning with my earliest memories, being physically and verbally abused by my alcoholic father, as well as his favorite and first child, my violently
hostile, oldest sister, Kathy. Another older sister, Marcia, began her own psychological abuse against me sometime in her mid-to-late teens.
Hers were very calmly delivered, pure psychological degradation. She was very narcissistic, such as entering beauty pageants, taking modeling classes, and becoming a varsity song girl (i.e., cheer leader) in high school. She craved the attention, and would walk past me on campus as if we were complete strangers — no, actually she’d probably smile to a complete stranger.
Sometime between his teens and 20s, my younger brother, Alan, emerged with his own narcissistic and violent, sociopathic characteristics. None of us were close growing up.
The only two siblings who maintained an ongoing relationship into adulthood were Kathy, the oldest, and Alan, the youngest. They also shared the similar violent and hostile temperaments, the charming personas, and the complete lack of compassion, morality, integrity and of course, any semblance of honesty.
I guess from sheer luck, the gene skipped me. Doing so, though, resulted in me becoming the outcast, the same way my mom would end up being treated.
Question: What’s considered a bad-upbringing in terms of a sociopath … being spoiled or being abused? Just food for thought.
It’s in our Genes … not our upbringing.
In summary, the bad gene was brought into the family from my dad’s side, and he passed it to three of his four offspring. I believe that I carry the gene, though I was the skipped generation. From what I’ve been able to gather, my dad got the bad gene from his mother’s side. The source paths don’t seem that difficult to identify, as long as one has a sufficient, if not just a minimal amount of experience to compare both parents.
Obtaining additional knowledge gathered from other branches of the family would prove very beneficial as well. And as luck would have it, I was recently contacted by a “distant cousin” from another branch of our family. He located me on Ancestry.com — a site I registered on a few years ago as a free member, and frankly, that was all I ever did. But his contact was very timely.
To tell my story completely, one must also know the physical trauma and injuries I endured, beginning with a broken back at the age of 12, and how my siblings used that to increase their character assassination of me, sometime after my hospital stay about 40 years later.
At the end of 2001, I had surgery on my back, and was infected with MRSA around my spine. Initially not even expected to survive, and after 120 days of intensive treatment, I never fully recovered. You can read all about the details leading up to that event from the links in the right column, right under MY NINE LIVES.
As I’ve said many times: “They kept me alive, but took away my life.”
How many sociopaths have you had in your life?
People who think they can read 10-steps on how to identify a sociopath need a reality check — it’s virtually impossible. Sociopaths are so cunning, such great actors, so manipulative, seemingly some of the nicest people around, that if you do suspect someone, there’s a good chance you identified a jerk. Sociopaths focus everything
on hiding their true personality. They are the ones most people never suspect. Such as Bernard Madoff.
Unless you happen to witness something that sends chills up your spine — chances are you’ll never suspect anything. But if you do see something, you better hope they didn’t see you. If they discovered you witnessed something, anything, even nothing but they react from their own paranoia, it’s time for you to change jobs, or even move out of state. Because even if that individual laughs it off with an acceptable excuse, they now know you saw something that could threaten them.
The sociopath will win. They have no limits … you do.
They may even appear to become better friends with you, and that’s all it would be is “appearance.” What they could be doing is keeping a closer eye on you, and without raising your suspicions, attempt to determine exactly what you do know, what you did see, and what you will discuss. While at the same time, as they learn more about you, they could begin the process to decimate your character, spreading the most evil and malicious lies about you. So evil, that people who had associated with you, will begin to avoid you.
A sociopath takes no risks with having their public persona revealed as a fake, as that would threaten their entire lifestyle. Even if only fueled by their own paranoia, a sociopath will not wait to go on the defensive. What they do is what I call: offensive-revenge. A sociopath has virtually no boundaries or limits … they see it as a job that needs to be done, and nothing will get in their way to prevent them from achieving success. Not even the legal system.
It’s all in their public persona. Someone may present their persona at home, 24/7, just as they do everywhere else. Even a spouse can be extremely difficult to recognize as having sociopathic characteristics if they are determined to hide it from everyone, as they know even family can be a threat.
I believe that a sociopath can be so extremely ruthless, so evil, so guilt-free, that they are capable of what I call: indirect homicide. Such as a victim that became so banished and an outcast by those he considered friends, that the victim could resort to ending his own life.
And that sociopath would continue their maliciously evil lifestyle without losing a bit of sleep.
But frankly, we should really start at the beginning …
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May 3rd, 2010 at 09:46
I stumbled upon your blog when trying to find a chat room about sociopaths.
I was riveted and read everything you had. Have you ever submitted it to any literary agents? A good guide, if you’re unfamiliar, is Jeff Herman’s Guide to publishers, literary agents and editors.
I recently fell victim to a sociopath, my assumed best friend of 4 years who launched a long and almost successful campaign to steal my husband. It wasn’t until about 6 months after that it suddenly dawned on me she is a sociopath, sort of a aha! moment when I a) learned what a long campaign it had actually been when he finally really opened up to me and added up all the evidence.
Anyway, good luck to you — if you publish, I’d love to know.
May 3rd, 2010 at 10:25
Welcome Cathy,
Thank you for the very kind words. I’ve always enjoyed writing, and have truly thought of writing a “fictional” story based on this. The only fiction would be names and places.
But I’d imagine most of who would read it would think my imagination needed to be toned down a bit, that it’s a bit too far-fetched. That’s the way most people think of it.
How could anyone as sweet as my sister, Kathy, be guilty of such heinous hostility? [sic] It’s easy if you understand Antisocial Personality Disorder. Most people don’t understand it, nor do they want to know.
Thanks again for your comments. I hope the best for you, and I’ll let you know if the book becomes a motion picture.
All the best!
Larry
June 10th, 2010 at 23:55
I AM writing a book about my ordeal in probate with my sociopathic brother and sister. Too bad I did not know about how socioopaths operate before they sued me. Thanks for sharing your experiences. It helps me to deal with the fact that I cannot deal with my siblings in a normal reasonable way. I am just a pawn in their game.
July 13th, 2010 at 06:15
Hi Karen,
I think we all have our own versions of your sentence: “… too bad I did not know about how sociopaths operate before …” I confronted my sister which told her I knew way too much.
Think back to your religion or sunday school classes from when you were a child. Did the devil ever appear to someone he wanted to destroy while he was wearing his horns, cape, and long red tail? Of course not.
Most people think sociopaths will somehow be obvious. Sociopaths are so successful because they make themselves the least obvious. I tend to believe that the devil was the first sociopath.