Just when you think you’ve got shut of all the S/P/Ns in your life, a couple more pop up and pollute the atmosphere.

The end of my marriage to a S/P/N was actually the dawning of horror, like opening Pandora’s Box. I finally began to realise just how many of them have ruined and continue to be destructive in my life in various ways. So many things once just dismissed as odd or thought I was being paranoid about etc, start to make sense in hindsight.

I’m so punch-drunk from it all that I have not yet found my voice to document and articulate it all yet. I tried writing a few blogs but they were only about my ex-husband and the CPTSD was so overwhelming, I even gave up on them.

I have never been able to mention the (probable) BPD/NPD (undiagnosed) woman who gave birth to me; her psycho son; their enablers; various evil former colleagues who were also probably S/P/Ns; pathetic extended family bystanders who only listened to the dark side; back-stabbing sociopathic ex-friends…I could go on and on.

Even when I go no contact, they get to me through my children and others. Or someone I think is okay will turn out to be a twisted demon. I have tried to develop a Teflon-coating to get them ‘off’ me but it often feels like there is just no escaping them. They are everywhere! Like a bad zombie movie!

Seriously though, it is excruciating to read sites like yours knowing exactly how you are feeling and wanting to reach out to you in your despair; but at the same time it is a blessed relief to know that we are not alone, that others out there do understand what sheer frustrating HELL it is dealing with these sub-humans. Boy, do I recognise Kay and her ilk.

Hang in there fella.
Liberty
UK
XXX

Thank you for your support and very kind words … it means a lot to me. My ability to recognize traits is the result of the most difficult way to learn about psychopathy … from as far back as I remember.

Looking back, I’ve had a number of women with psychopathic traits in my life, including family, co-workers, and supervisors … but I’ve also had a number of men. They’ve also been family, friends and supervisors. One must really stay educated and be on their toes. The traits then appear as big red flags.

Traits themselves do not make a sociopath, but one becomes more attune to that individual for more red flags. The more you see, the greater the distance you should keep. Thanks again.

All the best to you.

I’ve been meaning to comment on your page for a while. Especially now that I decided to read the comments as well, I really wanted to comment on your reply to Yababa: thank you!

I think it shows a lot of moral strength that, even though you had to deal with several sociopathic women, you didn’t become a misogynist, but researched sociopathy instead of attributing their behaviour to their gender.

Your reply here increased my respect for you even more, and I am amazed to see how you are able to spot psychopathic/sociopathic tendencies in people in such little details.

I also believe that the number of sociopaths is vastly underestimated for the reasons you mentioned.

I think that my father is also a sociopath, with psychopathic tendencies (he is very manipulative and violent, and lacks any kind of empathy). I am very lucky in that he doesn’t know where I live right now, and I hope it will stay that way.

Thank you. Please stay strong, your work is certainly appreciated and helpful!

Best wishes from Germany,
Arya

1) That’s one possibility, but they could also both be psychopaths and be in on it together; or the Doc is a disciple to his wife, etc.

2) Who do you hang out with? Where’s your proof to substantiate your claim? Your sentence borders on being sexist.

3) Ever consider that you may have psychopathic traits? You use the word “control” twice in the same sentence. “If you want to control his business … you most [sic] first control his woman.”

“Control” requires the use of manipulation, deceptively or not. You are describing the actve traits of a psychopath.

First off, thank you for your insight.
Secondly, I’m not easy to offend.

This post could have been three times longer, so there’s a lot of detail that I did not include. But your comments have validity. I write from my heart but always with truth. With that said, I know that my truth can be interpreted differently by others, and I accept that.

Sociopath victimization never stops. If a sociopath begins to assassinate your character, they must stick with that story forever, otherwise they would be exposed as a liar.

Again, thanks for the good comment, as I will read it again.

We cannot continue to blame Kay for all of the others actions. I know from experience that people like this are absolutely miserable to deal with, but those around them do have free will. I’ll even give the staff a pass here, but not the psychiatrist. The actions of his staff under orders from Kaye were medically negligent and reprehensible, he should be held accountable for them. He seems like he is completely under her control however, and I know that feeling. She is what I term a female mindrapist.

Please don’t take this the wrong way, I don’t even care if you post this message, but within a few seconds of reading this, I got a strange feeling that you may be showing signs of inverted narcissism as well- I think it is very common after surviving extreme psychological abuse. I’m definitely not diagnosing you or anything like that, but I would like to provide you a little bit of advice. I’m only doing this because in recovery from the various sociopaths in my life, I realized I was in the same position.

Those who have incurred major damage at the hands and minds of a sociopath need to set CLEAR boundaries in dealing with other people or we are done for. I didn’t see you asserting your own rights in this situation. I just see that you kept going back for some more abuse. They didn’t call you, they didn’t return your calls, they didn’t fill your prescriptions, these were all hints and they were none-too-subtle either. Whatever the motive behind their actions, we’ll likely never truly understand. Although I’ve received dreadful abuse from 3 sociopaths simultaneously, I will not ever allow myself to be a victim. I’m a victor.

Maybe that is why I had to learn the ugly truth about the capabilities of those without a soul, so I wouldn’t dare make the mistake a second time. I don’t know.

Hopefully I didn’t offend you, I realize it isn’t my concern, but I’ve been living in a very similar situation. Thankfully, we aren’t forced to have any sort of contact. I know your heart was in the right place, but we do have to start worrying about our own wellbeing. One can only take so much…. by establishing and asserting solid boundaries, we take a little of that power away from the bully.

First, I could not agree with you more. There must be a reason why the general population percentage is estimated so low. For one, very few are ever diagnosed. Since they consider exposure their biggest threat, why would they volunteer to be diagnosed. Take my family, for instance.

My paternal grandmother and her two brothers were messed up. My grandmother passed it to her two sons, my dad and my uncle, who were two of a kind. My uncle had three daughters, who I do not know well, but what I do know of them, they seem messed up. So far, just in my family, we are looking at a majority.

My parent’s had two daughters followed by two sons — I’m right in the middle, meaning I have one younger brother. For whatever reason, I was the only one of that generation that did not acquire any of the disorders; but, I did inherit the bad gene, albeit in a dormant stage. It wasn’t until my oldest daughter was in her late teens, and took on the traits of APD, that I realized I had the gene, and passed it. Though it is not dormant in my daughter.

I am also, by far, the smartest — though I was the only one who dropped out of college, primarily because I was offered a job in my field of study before I graduated. Over the next 15 years, I re-enrolled in college with different, but related majors, and both times, I was offered positions in areas of my study before I graduated. It was very odd it happened three times.

All through growing up, I was told by both my dad and Kathy, my sister, that I was “stupid” and that I “would never amount to anything.” On the contrary, though, my sister Kathy has never been able to hold a job. She’s never worked. I was the most successful.

Those public percentages seem ridiculous. In my family, we can start with my paternal grandmother and her two brothers (that’s 3 for 3); my grandmother had two sons (there’s 2 for 2); my uncle had three daughters (I do not know them well enough, so I will not include them); my dad had two daughters and two sons (that’s 4 for 4) I am so lucky, as my gene never woke up; I have three adult children, two daughters and one son (that’s also 3 for 3). My siblings have kids, but I have no relationship with them, whatsoever, so I will not factor them in.

Total in the study (all family): 12
Those who inherited the bad gene: 12 (only mine is dormant)
Percentage positive: 100%

Some facts to remember: I have a disdain for what they do, first to others, then to me. I will not sit around and pretend like it is not happening — I cannot do that, and it has cost me my entire family. Friends think I’m crazy, since as they say, “I’ve never heard of such a thing.” That’s just plain ignorance. I know I speak nothing but the truth, and I will not be a party of a deception of any kind.

I’m not sure if I answered your question, but I’ll come back and check. It’s the first time I’ve laid out the numbers like this, and to put it mildly, I’m a bit distracted.

Thank you.

With their degree of cunningness, just figure this….each one probably cons a group to help do his bidding, and so sociopaths exert a very disporportionate amount of power in society…and also many of them are managers, judges, and policemen. But even the average run of the mill sociopath has many people…i mean puppets to help do his bidding.

I know a group of sociopaths who has manipulated their way out of crimes done across the country. This one woman had a group of disabled and sick people lying in beds in her house, and she and her bully lesbian partner continuously bullied them out of money. They were too helpless to resist, too afraid to talk, but also extremely emmeshed..i mean conned also by them.

I have to tell you this is almost exactly what my family has been dealing with for the last 25 years. And, recently it has torn my entire family apart. It’s my sister-in-law. My older brother’s wife. She is a sociopath and we all have identified this disorder and have been thru hell and back because of her.

I have 2 other brothers and my parents are both alive. My brother is totally and completely unaware of what is happening to him and their adopted son. When we have addressed something she’s done, he defends her. When we are at ANY function, he has to stand up to make an announcement and say his wife had something to do with it, whether she did or not. He has to praise her always. She even has conned him into not celebrating his birthday as it falls on a holiday that years ago (30) she experienced a bad breakup. She has alienated him from everyone in the family and has even convinced him to “watch us” as to how we treat her and then starts a fight (when he’s not around of course) but then he comes to her rescue when he hears her voice escalate. She sits out in the car with him and they plan their conversations before coming into the families houses for holidays.

It’s a good cop bad cop sort of plan. They actually have admitted to this before – She is always the Good cop and my brother is the bad cop. She does the exact thing of fake hello’s and goodbyes when he is standing there, but you get all kinds of nastiness when he’s not around. We have mounted lots of evidence and my mom talked to my brother and now they don’t speak and in fact my brother will not let my parents see their grandson. They are using him as a punishment. I told my parents not to do this as it would not help the situation and that my brother would only defend her and the end result would be they wouldn’t see my brother or my nephew. Of course, he is doing exactly that. Also, he talks to me on the phone and she’s always listening on the other line.

She also is psycho about my nephew – she sent out Christmas cards with a picture of my nephew who had climbed up the side of the house (outside on the corner stones) and was nearly to the top of a two story home. Instead of reacting like a normal mother and trying to get him down to safety – she ran and grabbed a photo camera and a video camera. They said they both had to laugh as it was crazy but funny. Funny? Are you nuts? And okay, let’s sensationalize it so he has to try to “top it” next year for the christmas cards!!! Oh, and when I brought that up to my brother, he said, “she was so upset that I thought I would have her take her mind off of it by taking a picture”. Can you believe that? Oh and my brother has been a very successful salesman for many years, so he knows how to handle an objection – so he can handle anything we tell him – he’s got all the answers to cover for her.

So tell me….how do you ever get thru to these people that they are being majorly manipulated. I actually might copy your story and mail it to him – but I don’t expect him to really see it’s him and her. I cannot believe my brother chooses to stand by her and constantly lie for her and defend her. He has to know that she is lying – he is making up excuses. Oh by the way…he thinks she is the sweetest person and she does so much for others and no one gives her any credit. She also has been estranged from her siblings, her father, her siblings spouses, co-workers (she works as an office manager at a dental office – strange but true) and she has has many jobs where people were just “mean to her”. She’s a mess.

Thanks for listening and if you have any advice, please share it with me.

Thanks!