I have tipped off my sociopath that I’m aware of what he is, as well as past crimes. He has already subjected me to unthinkable violations. How can I protect myself now?
It’s difficult for me to come up with any specific recommendation as I know not what your relationship was or is with this man … partner, co-worker, family member, supervisor, etc., and for how long. If his past crimes could mean incarceration, your safety could be at risk.
But generally speaking, the number one suggestion would be to move far away with no forwarding information. If he just found out, as you said, your problems are just beginning. He likely believes you are a threat to exposing him, and will always be. Being far away diminishes that threat to some level.
If moving is not an option, which is often the case, then become transparent. Change your phone numbers, your email addresses, etc. You may also have legal substantiation for a restraining order, which must be signed by a judge.
If that’s not possible, a cop can write him up a criminal trespass warning. You would need to call 911 when he was on your property, and express your fear of him. The cops show up and simply write him a warning for criminal trespass. If he steps on your property again, call 911 and he’ll be arrested for criminal trespass.
A restraining order is much more powerful, but you would need to speak with an attorney about going forward with that. Also, as mentioned throughout this site, obtaining hard evidence will only help your predicament, such as audio recordings.
I’m not positive, but I believe that in all 50 US states you can record a face-to-face conversation secretly, but some states require both parties on a phone conversation be aware of the recording. In most states, though, you can record phone calls with just one party knowing, and that’s you. You will need to determine your local laws.
If you decide to go that route, I suggest visiting your local Apple Store and check out their iPods. A sales associate can tell you the recording capabilities of each model (in hours), and then pick up a lavaliere microphone
Do everything you can to avoid him.
Additional reading …
AUDIO: A Sociopath & Disciple Make Their Plans.
The real danger is what you don’t know.
I want to avenge a sociopath. What’s my best option?
###
February 15th, 2012 at 07:43
I was reading some startling stats about restraining orders and protective orders. I think it was like thirty percent of the murders occur after someone takes one out. I’m not sure why that would be except that it makes the psycho feel out of control and they have to have the last word. So, I’ve been hesitant to even bother with it. Disappearing sounds like the only way to really get rid of these people for good.
February 25th, 2012 at 17:17
Laure, I read a book that said restraining orders lead to violence. Any kind of public rejection/humiliation is dangerous to do. The author said to wait until the person does something that means the police will arrest him/her and just ignore in the meantime or indefinitely.
February 25th, 2012 at 17:19
p.s. That book was about violent people – not specifically focused on sociopaths.
March 31st, 2012 at 22:09
Violent people = sociopathic people, although I understand you’re just trying to relay information accurately.
April 1st, 2012 at 10:45
I do believe that restraining orders only feed the evil in a psychopath, and force them to take different paths to achieve their goal. But not all sociopaths are violent people; frankly only a very small percent become violent. Most ‘kill’ their victims psychologically.
April 27th, 2012 at 13:49
How in the world do you prove that in court, psychological and emotional abuse are the unseen wounds that drag the target down. “OUCH”
April 27th, 2012 at 14:40
Becca,
I don’t know if you can. When my dad died, my sister abducted my mom and told me that I’d never speak with her again. She died a year later.
But when my sister told me that, I called their local police who said they could do nothing except if there is physical violence. I then called an Elder Association, and not only was I told the same thing, but the woman said it happens all the time. I then called an attorney and he said virtually the same thing, and recommended if I wanted to save my mom, go kidnap her. That’s the truth.
This is not exactly what you are asking, but you can see the pattern that unless there are physical scars, chances are against you. Our legal system is badly broken.
April 27th, 2012 at 15:11
Becca,
The other thing I forget to mention is your county’s Department of Family and Children’s Services. They have specialists who work just with kids. And if they sense trouble, they bring it to court, where they hold a lot of weight.
July 4th, 2012 at 12:44
Dear Larry,
I understand. My mother thrives on emotional manipulation and lives to pit family members against each other. My brother is a cold sociopath and has proven to be dangerous. My poor dad was constantly in a rage, unable and unwilling to confront my mother about her behaviors, so he displaced his anger on us kids. I ended up being the family scapegoat, although I tried so hard to be a hero. I grew up a very lonely and depressed child. For sure, it is what lead me to a life of helping others.
In 1986, I left my husband and purchased a manufactured home which I put on my parent’s farm. My 5 year old son and I lived there, which was a huge mistake. My darling mother, who threw a fit when I got pregnant, decided she wanted custody of my son. Odd for someone who didn’t want to be a grandmother, isn’t it?
One evening in September of 1986, I went to a local department store in a neighboring county. While unloading my purchases into my car in the parking lot, a car pulled up and I was grabbed by two men. They took me out into the county to a remote area and tried to kill me. Needless to say, I survived, but it wasn’t for the lack of trying on their parts. Local law enforcement believed that my brother was responsible for a murder for hire, but it could not be proven. The man they caught would not acknowledge this but there were suspicious circumstances surrounding the whole attack. Incidentally, the would be murderer knew my brother when my brother was a policeman. My brother once arrested him for assault. Suspicious. Oh yes.
On January 1, 1987, I fled my home state and moved far away from that hellhole. Unfortunately, my ex-husband sued for custody and my mother perjured herself on the stand and assassinated my character – which is something that she had been engaging in for years. I had no place to turn and I lost custody of my son.
In 2006, my father died and I returned to Oklahoma for the funeral. Immediately after the service, my brother threatened me if I fought him over the “inheritance”, which is 160 of land and a house. My mother joined in and tried to goad me into a rage by assassinating me all over again. I felt that old familiar frustration popping up again, much like Dad. Interestingly enough, I am not an angry person unless I am dealing with my mother. I had to make the decision to turn my back on both my mother and my brother to protect my own well-being. Mom has destroyed my reputation in Oklahoma and I can’t see one good reason to return there.
There is a happy ending. I am married to a wonderful man and I am building a strong practice working with people who have survived abusive and manipulative relationships. My son is grown now and lives close to me. We have a great relationship, even though I couldn’t see him full-time when he was growing up. My mother did not get custody of him as she planned. He was raised by his father who did a pretty good job. And I’ve learned, distance is the only cure for abusive behavior. I tell myself frequently, “what they think of me is none of my business.” Still, sometimes I feel sad because I never had a mother who loved or cared for me. It is a silent grief I will carry for the rest of my life.
July 8th, 2012 at 15:10
@Anita, it sounds like you’re getting the best kind of revenge there is: living well.
August 5th, 2012 at 15:35
Larry,
What is a psychological killing? On your April 1st, 2012 at 10:45 you mentioned ” Most ‘kill’ their victims psychologically.”
It is absolutely heart breaking to read some of these posts.
Wow! what a path of destruction, devastation, and harm. It is worst than terrorist attacking…These are people in our own country harming one another. Harming their own.
Thank you,
August 5th, 2012 at 16:21
Candle,
“Psychological killing” is caracter assassination. Everyone you knew avoids you. It has been compared to read assassination. The toll it takes on the targeted person is devastating.
October 8th, 2012 at 16:57
I want to do a youtube documentary….is that too much of a risk? I want to do a documentary on Sociopaths.
October 9th, 2012 at 11:15
You can always do a documentary…. Risk can be reduced by skipping people you may know are sociopaths. Simply do not include them.