ABOUT
Befriending Evil
The purpose of this site is to help bring awareness of the characteristics of a sociopath, and the real dangers they represent to anyone they associate with — even family. Estimates range from one-or-two people out of every twenty are sociopaths … that means five-to-ten percent of the country’s population have little-to-no capacity to feel guilt for anything they do.
5-10% of the population consists of people very capable of deceptively evil activity against the most unsuspecting — close friends and family members. But one of the most dangerous aspects about them is their persona — their public act. They pretend, and very convincingly so, to be a very nice person … a friend to all. Not at all of what you’d expect. And that character they present is how they manage to elude exposure and even capture.
Country-of-Liars is not an attempt to cover a full country of liars, but is here to document the malicious and purely sinister activities of the sociopaths who have affected one man’s entire life … mine.
Extrapolating the percentage of sociopaths in my life, up to the country’s population — as well as factoring in supporting data from multiple research sources — it’s quite easy to conclude that we do live in a country of sociopaths … not just casual liars.
Based on the numbers, you know at least one sociopath.
One of your colleagues could be a sociopath.
One of your siblings could be a sociopath.
Your spouse could be a sociopath.
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April 26th, 2010 at 13:59
Hi,
Recently, I stumbled onto your site.
I am a mother of an adopted Korean girl. She came to us when she was 4. She is now 28 and working on a 4th name and 2nd husband. I am also disabled and became so shortly after her arrival in 1986. I struggle with pain and also am a therapist. Well trained, but also a Mom, I saw so many red flags in our daughter.
She conquered and divided for years and I ultimately confronted her RAD [Editor: Reactive Attachment Disorder] and now Sociopathic behaviors and characteristics. She has broken me because I have no family left and she went through our money to gain as much as she could get. We no longer have any beneficial purpose within her realm of reality. Although, my husband and I had to struggle to stay together, we did, and he recognizes her diagnosis but it took a long time and some real hurt toward him before bells and whistles went off.
We have a farm and have spent most of our lives rescuing animals; horses, dogs, cats. We are getting older and had hoped for a nice relationship w ith our family. I miss that I will not be a grandmother and aunt and sister to my family. I wake each and every morning and cry because I miss my Mom and the one who would have stood by me.
Lonely and sad, we know that getting away from this area of the country and attempting to live the rest of our lives devoid of family is going to be our lifestyle. Family whom I loved and thought loved me have no time for us. Unless there is a wedding that bears the need of a gift or party requiring same, no one calls me and they never visit.
My daughter continues her relationships with them I have heard that they do just fine with her and that the problem is us, not Malia. Honestly, there are a few friends that know her routine and just shake their heads and one recently said, “you do not have a daughter K!” I guess the truth hurts but as Mother’s day approaches I find myself a little sadder and more hurt then ever.
Sometimes, I think sociopaths can make you feel so sad and so used that you might just die from a broken heart.
K
April 29th, 2010 at 21:59
This is very, very sad. At some point, Larry, you have to make a decision to just walk away. Probably one of the hardest decisions of your life. Sounds like K and her husband are almost to that point. That might be the only thing left to do.
April 29th, 2010 at 22:48
Jan,
One cannot just “walk away.” If I could — or if anyone could in a similar situation — I know I’d be gone, and I feel that most everyone else would be, too. To put it lightly, there is nothing at all pleasant about being here. But to understand why one cannot “simply walk” away is darn near impossible if you don’t understand what it is to begin with.
There has been nothing in my life that I have not been able to conquer … nothing. Nothing, that is, until I met up with this. I can tell you do not understand it, and granted, it’s not at all easy to understand by having someone tell you. Could you imagine describing color to a person who has been blind since birth?
To understand something like this the best you can — short of getting trapped like this yourself — is reading, and reading a lot. Try reading this site thoroughly, as well as other sites linking from it, and still others by searching on Yahoo and Google. Don’t read the short articles that have a title something like: The 10-Best Ways to Spot a Sociopath … it’s all generally regurgitated trash.
> > Probably one of the hardest decisions of your life.
No, it would be a very easy decision if it were possible. It would have been over long ago.
> > Sounds like K and her husband are almost to that point.
Are you referring to “walking away”?
If so, then no … K and her husband are only changing their geography. “Walking away” is a mind-set. They are changing their geography to distance themselves from their families. It may help, but there’s no guarantee. My “family” is not around here, except my ex-wife.
My blood-relatives are in California, Arizona, and New York — all no where near me. The distance has not protected me. The best thing for K and her husband to do is vanish, i.e., not let any of the old family know how to contact them, or know precisely where they are.
An example of why we can’t just walk away
I was married briefly during my mid-20s to Brenda, and from that relationship, we had a daughter. I believe I passed the bad gene to my oldest daughter, Sarah. Although I probably only speak with Brenda once, maybe twice a year, she has always expressed disbelief as to what my siblings are doing to me.
Brenda has made it clear she has been staying out of it, even though our daughter, Sarah, who lives near her, turned on me about five years ago, stopped all our communication, and began lying about me … maliciously. She’s married and has two daughters of her own.
About two weeks ago (April 2010), while speaking with Brenda on the phone, she jokingly described me as “manic” — a word that I never heard her use before, and one that immediately placed her honesty in question with her statements that she had been “staying out of it.” Without missing a beat, I simply replied, “Really? Give me an example.”
Here’s a little of what Wikipedia.org says about a mania …
Her example was utterly ridiculous, completely incorrect, and confirmed to me she had no idea what “manic” meant. She got busted, though I did not make an issue of it. As a typical sociopath follower, she was using a word to describe me, a word she didn’t even understand, with the single goal of being part of the team to destroy my character. As mentioned, I did not indicate what I had just realized based on her reply, but I asked her for her email address so I could send some evidentiary documents to support my claims.
She kind of acted as if she just forgot it, beginning with, “Oh gawd, what is my address?”
Based on my experience with Sarah and email, I asked Brenda to reply when she got my first email so I knew I had the correct email address, and wouldn’t be sending private information to an unknown person. I sent three emails to her over three days, and never got a reply. When I switched to calling, she never picked-up, or even returned my calls.
As expected, she very likely discussed it with Sarah, they got suspicious, and Sarah probably told her not to reply to me under any circumstance. The same reason Sarah didn’t want me to speak with her husband, Nick — if two people speak who each got different versions of the same story, it begins to get a little steamy.
In my mind, Brenda proved her own guilt.
June 5th, 2010 at 20:23
You say that walking away is a mind set and that is true, it is.
If we choose to walk away (as a mind set) does that not also make us sociopaths?
June 6th, 2010 at 01:00
Hi Anna,
I may be confused as to what you are asking.
Jan is someone who knew me years ago, and does not comprehend the evil lifestyle of a sociopath, and particularly how they can destroy someone they choose to victimize. So to her, walking away means to simply forget about everything that has happened, stop writing about my experiences here, and just move on.
That would probably be a typical response from anyone who has no experience, of their own, with a sociopath affecting their life. One sociopath would be bad enough, though because it is genetically passed from one generation to the next, I have a family of them.
To answer your question as stated: “no.”
But I’m still very confused as to the question. My analogy would be: “if a woman walked away from an abusive relationship, would that make her an abuser?” And in my analogy, I realize my use of the term includes both the mind-set and the physical action.
I wish I could walk-away, but based on the level some people are victimized, it’s virtually impossible.
My listing of long-term victim symptoms is very accurate. Except for a few, it pretty much defines my life. I went from having a passion for life, to wondering if I still have the will.
See: SYMPTOMS OF A VICTIM