SOCIOPATH TRAITS


TRAITS of a SOCIOPATH

On this page you will find two lists of traits. The top list is written in simple terminology. The list below it is the official, Hare Psychopathy Checklist, developed by Robert Hare, PhD.

Below are the traits most commonly attributed to a sociopath. Every person is inherently different, and that includes each sociopath. This is not an attempt to diagnose anyone.

An individual could stand out as having just 2-3 traits and be a sociopath, because more traits could be well-hidden.
 




















 
Sources: Wikipedia.org, Sociopathic.net, & personal observations (50+ years)


More Therapeutic Details …
 
Wikipedia.org
Hare Psychopathy Checklist
Robert Hare, PhD

Psychopathy is most commonly assessed with the PCL-R, which is a clinical rating scale with 20 items. Each of the items in the PCL-R is scored on a three-point (0, 1, 2) scale according to two factors. PCL-R Factor 2 is associated with reactive anger, anxiety, increased risk of suicide, criminality, and impulsive violence.

PCL-R Factor 1, in contrast, is associated with extraversion and positive affect. Factor 1, the so-called core personality traits of psychopathy, may even be beneficial for the psychopath (in terms of non‑deviant social functioning). A psychopath will score high on both factors, whereas someone with ASPD will score high only on Factor 2. Both case history and a semi-structured interview are used in the analysis.

Because an individual’s scores may have important consequences for his or her future, the potential for harm if the test is used or administered incorrectly is considerable. The test can only be considered valid if administered by a suitably qualified and experienced clinician under controlled conditions.

PCL-R items

The following findings are for research purposes only, and are not used in clinical diagnosis. These items cover the affective, interpersonal, and behavioral features. Each item is rated on a score from zero to two. The sum total determines the extent of a person’s psychopathy.

Factor 1 — Aggressive Narcissism
  1. Glibness/superficial charm
  2. Grandiose sense of self-worth
  3. Pathological lying
  4. Cunning/manipulative
  5. Lack of remorse or guilt
  6. Emotionally shallow
  7. Callous/lack of empathy
  8. Failure to accept responsibility for own actions
Factor 2 — Socially Deviant Lifestyle
  1. Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom
  2. Parasitic lifestyle
  3. Poor behavioral control
  4. Promiscuous sexual behavior
  5. Lack of realistic, long-term goals
  6. Impulsiveness
  7. Irresponsibility
  8. Juvenile delinquency
  9. Early behavioral problems
  10. Revocation of conditional release
Traits not correlated with either factor
  1. Many short-term marital relationships
  2. Criminal versatility

More information: Hare Psychopathy Checklist
Licensed under CC — compliments: Wikipedia.org


How to identify a sociopath
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How to spot a sociopath

52 Responses to “SOCIOPATH TRAITS”

  1. Kelley Says:

    My step daughter has almost all of these traits. The only one she doesn’t have is high self-esteem.

    What is so strange about her is that she can completely cut people out of her life if they don’t do what she wants. We couldn’t care less about her specifically, but she takes our grandchildern away from us. She uses them as bargaining tools, the first thing she says when we don’t do what she wants is “you will never see your grandkids ever again if you don’t”.

    Amazingly, it just for stupid stuff, that she has the ability to take care of, she just won’t. I have been completely baffled, until I took a sociological call, and started to read descriptions of sociopaths.

    Now what do I do about the kids?

  2. Larry Says:

    Kelly,

    My oldest daughter, Sarah and I were very close right through her teens. She got married in her early 20s to her high school sweat heart. They have two daughters together, my only two grandchildren. Sarah took on the traits of APD in her late-teens, early 20s, but even with me, she played her persona.

    One day, during one of our typical phone calls, I asked something at the end that I hadn’t before, “Oh, can I speak with Nick please.” I could have sworn I heard him in the background, but Sarah said he wouldn’t be home for another 20-30 minutes. I would call back in 45-60 minutes.

    When I called back, I surprisingly got their answering machine. Although it seemed suspicious to me, I left a message that I’d call back within a couple hours. Again, I got their answering machine. I knew something was up. My message asked her to return my call, which she never did. And that began her brutal character assassination of me.

    She probably never expected for me to ask to speak with her husband, and my first and only conclusion was that if I had spoken to him, we may have discovered a contradiction of some information. Something that she told him was very different from what she told me. If so, she was risking getting busted — not something she was willing to do.

    Whatever it was, it must have been big, because she, along with her husband (based on the lies she told him) have been decimating my character. I never expect to see them again, or see my grand daughters. There’s really nothing that can be done. I made an attempt to share the truth with my son-in-law, and he responded with a physical threat. Sometimes with the best intentions, we only make things worse.

    I know what it feels like. I hope your situation works out better than mine.

    All the best.

  3. TK Says:

    One more to add to the list from my personal experience. This could be an extension of “Pathological Lying”.

    When a sociopath lies, he has no awareness that he is lying. What he says, the opinions he expresses, at that moment, is the utter universal truth. He is not aware that minutes ago he was professing the exact opposite.

    He believes what comes out of his mouth with absolute conviction. This makes him great at succeeding at interviews and manipulating himself into positions of trust.

    And when his lies are caught out, he will respond with devastating viciousness. He will make it your fault. You heard wrong. You were misrepresenting him. You lied… And most unsispecting people, including the victim, will likely believe him!!!

  4. TK Says:

    An extension to the above: a sociopath can glibly propose a course of action that is illegal, but believe utterly that it IS legal.

  5. Carla Says:

    After 8 years with a man suffering from complex PTSD, I have struggled with the notion he had sociopathic tendencies. He recently committed suicide in front of me by shooting himself in the head. His last words were, “see how pathetic I am.”

    He was severely abused as a boy by both parents which ultimately led to his mother killing his father. He was impulsive, wreckless, manipulative and couldn’t maintain long term friendships. He was haunted by his own lack of worth- but insensitive to his own ability to harm others. He was very intelligent and could easily pass himself off as a caring man, but I could see the shallowness.

    I did love him but feared him too. My gut instinct told me long ago to never completely trust him and I protected myself from financial and certain emotional ties. His family is teaming with self serving sociopaths and I have nothing to do with them. His was a tragic life, and I believe his life could have been better had he not been raised in such a household.

    I tried to teach him about love and trust – and believe he loved me as best he could – because he tried to protect me from himself. He ended his life because he was afraid he would abuse me.

    It is all so sad.

  6. Larry Says:

    Carla,

    Your first paragraph will likely leave most people speechless, as it has virtually done to me. As bad as we all have had it, we can always find someone who’s had it worse.

    My heart goes out to you.

    Did his mother get away with killing his father? The court system gives them no reason to change their deceptive ways.

    You strike me as an intelligent and strong-willed woman — it’s probably what saved you. It’s tough to speculate how different his life could have been in another family, but with the same genes. He would have undoubtedly been different, but in my opinion, I don’t believe that would have affected the demons he battled. Those were likely with him at birth.

    It is very sad.

  7. Carla Says:

    Jim’s mother did get away with killing him because he had returned after being arrested for abuse- with a gun bent on killing the entire family. He was killed in front of the children.

    When I first met Jim he confided his story to me and said it left him feeling that up until then his mother did nothing to protect them- she was the classic “deer in the headlights” victim, neither defending herself or the children. She is still that way today-and uses distancing language when she talks about it. It’s as if she sees herself somehow apart and aloof to the role she played.

    It was she who told Jim he would never amount to anything, and his older siblings backed up the belief. Even after he died they said to me things like,” We never expected much from Jim.” and “Without you in his life Jim could have never come this far.”

    Even in death he wasn’t given any credit for the good things he did.” It is as if his suicide only validated his worthlessness to them.

    He was handed a low standard to never cross- and when he went above it, they were always there to remind him he would fail- by planting doubt in his mind.

  8. Rocky Says:

    Carla, that is fucked UP, my deepest sympathies to you! that is so sad

    And larry, i hope whatever sarah and her boyfriend did to assassinate your character sees true light one day. I pray that her followers or people who don’t believe you see this site one day and realize the horrible mistake they are making. im so glad for finding this site, it has taught me a lot, and reading all these stories, I think makes everyone a stronger person :D

  9. VienneseGuy Says:

    Quoted from TK: “When a sociopath lies, he has no awareness that he is lying. What he says, the opinions he expresses, at that moment, is the utter universal truth. He is not aware that minutes ago he was professing the exact opposite.”

    I would like to extend this by stating that a sociopath has no concept of the truth.

    Oh, a sociopath can lie to further his own goals quite consciously. But that’s probably not what you meant, but more the useless day-to-day-lies that are seemingly devoid of any reason for the act of lying because they bring no advantage.

    When we tell anything, we take the perceived “reality” that our senses relayed, our (emotionally coloured) opinion, and then summarize, leave out parts we do not deem important, add own thoughts, and so on.

    Unless we have a reason to, we think it’s “bad” to twist this already entirely subjective version of “what really happened” willfully.

    Missing a moral compass based on own emotions, sociopaths lack the impulse to suppress wilfull manipulation of their subjective memories. Accordingly, they cannot draw a line between what we all necessarily do and what is deemed unacceptable. They simply do not have a choice.

  10. Kendra Says:

    I’m so sorry Carla, that is truly a tragedy… My heart also goes out to you.

    I know for undeniable fact that the sociopath I knew had all of the PCLR factor 1 traits, as well as half of the Factor 2 traits… It’s so hard to acknowledge you’ve come across a person who really is like this. Bc they are horrible. Disguised to be like us. The truth of their nature is as ugly as their exterior is attractive. And that’s /ucked up!

    You don’t want to believe it… But you must. I go through withdrawal of acceptance… Thinking this person is not really so… Evil I guess you could say….

    I’m  pretty calculating myself and suspicious. But I don’t hurt people, and my lifestyle is truthfully too liberal for my fundamentalist family… I love them so I lie… They will never accept me. They are so happy and I benefit my lifestyle by quietly supporting it in the eyes of my family…. I feel for them…

  11. Alexandra Says:

    I’m wondering, my husband scores 2 on every aspect of Factor 1, but only scores 2 on one aspect of Factor 2. Can he be considered a sociopath?

  12. Larry Says:

    VienneseGuy,

    I believe you are correct — psychopaths will knowingly deceive, but their first choice for an answer is always a lie … just to be safe.

  13. Larry Says:

    Alexandra,

    This site acknowledges that it does not exist to diagnose or attempt to provide professional advice. Hence, a personal opinion: if he scores positive on all traits in Factor 1, I’d be very concerned if I were you.

  14. Brandina Says:

    hmmm….I began reading your posts after coming across it when searching for symptoms of a sociopath because I’m pretty sure that my brother’s ex was one…..She had a very terrible past riddled with drug usage by her family members and then herself, murders and suicide every few years (father murdered, sister committing suicide, another sister and her mother dying of cancer – the latter 3 within a 2 year period) as well as incest and a plethora of other problems. Yeah, she had it bad. But what she did to others was equally so.

    My brother met her when he was 15, they were the same age. At the time, she was working and attending his charter school and paying all bills to support her druggie mother. They quickly moved in together and he was there by her side through so much, always keeping her head above water, a roof over her head, food on her plate. He cared for her mother and a sister while they were sick and dying. His gf abused so many drugs and took to drinking so much that she ended up with all kinds of health problems (ie; epiliepsy or similary reactions when she took her meds and drank). I felt sorry for her, but over the years my ability to pity her faded as I began to see what she was doing.

    She made everyone around her pity her for the things her family had done, for the pain of losing them. When her sisters and mom died so close together, she really used that to manipulate people, and for years. So many times my brother tried to leave because of the dysfunction or because she would threaten to hurt herself and then call the cops on him, but when he would, she’d get drunk or high until she started having seizures. He was sure that without him, she would end up dead within a matter of weeks because she had no one else left.

    Then he lost his job and she began to try and leave him. She eventually did, for a while. He started to get over her but after almost a year she called him and said that her brother (the only remaining family who lived in another state) was raping her and he went to rescue her. Less than a week later, she was drinking and raving and when someone called the police, she banged her head against the car door and said he was going to end up in jail.

    I think that was the last time he saw her. She found someone else to manipulate who’s family didn’t know any better. But now, my brother isn’t well.

    Can the dysfunction that a person like this puts on others cause them to eventually develop mental issues as well? They were together over 13 years.

  15. Deborah Says:

    I have a dilemma, long-story-short my mother and my older sister are sociopaths.

    When my mother was alive she tried to run every body’s lives and when they did not conform she would assassinate their character and try to turn us 4 children against each other. Now that my mother has passed my sister has taken her role, she tries to manipulate every one in the family including my 71 yr old father.

    When me and my niece tried to confront her and ask her to stop telling lies about us and other members of the family she acted as thou she was the victim and that we were attacking her. So for more than 5 years I have tried to make amends with her. For 3 of those years I have lived out of the country and thought that things would settle down, well not to my surprise she was still trying to turn the family against me.

    She would tell my family that I didn’t want anything to do with them because I have moved on and up in the world and that I didn’t want anything to do with any people from the ghetto as she called it. She has said and done many things thats too long to mention. It escalated when my niece became very sick and was hospitalized. Me and my 24yr old niece are very close so when my sister went to the hospital to visit of course she tried to say things to her thinking my niece was vulnerable and could not defend herself or me. She told my niece “see your aunt Deborah doesn’t care about you thats why she’s not here visiting you” (side note; I live half way across the world more than a 27 hour flight away with 2 young kids).

    Of course after her saying that my niece became very angry and an argument took place in which my name came up a lot. My niece in anger made some accusations about my sister that had been rumored around the family. My sister then accused me of starting the rumor and started to say very upsettings things about me to all my family except my father because she does not want him to know how she is but he know because he says she is just like my mother in that way.

    At that point I made a very difficult decision and wrote my sister a letter expressing my disappointment that we could not reconcile and to let her know that the rumor that she was saying was the very reason why I felt that I had to refrain myself from her destructive behavior (side note; I sent the letter to my adult family members that knew what was happening so my letter or words could not be misconstrued in any way, as my sister has done many times in the past). A few hours later she called and tried to speak with me more like yell at me and I said that “I was sorry but I think we should no longer talk” and I hung up the phone.

    A few minutes later my other niece called (the daughter of my said sister) and she tried to mediate the situation during the call we would go back and forth as my sister was in the background answering and asking questions as I was. Unfortunately in the end she new what she was saying was wrong but did not care about how I felt and she admitted that she only said it out of spite.

    I asked 3 basic questions in the end in which I heard her voice loud and clear, “1- do you feel any remorse for us ending our relationship as sisters? answer- NO, 2- have I ever done anything wrong to you? answer- NO, 3- why do you have such animosity towards me? answer- she called me a bitch.

    She on her behalf wrote her own letter mostly just ranting and trying to act as she was the victim and also sent it to family members. I didn’t feel I had any more to say so I did not respond. After everything was said and done I was very upset as I told my husband I felt like there was a death in the family and that I was the one that died. This happened about 6 months ago and it is still upsetting to think about.

    Now to my dilemma- my son was recently engaged and is planning to get married next summer, my problem is that I know my sister well enough that if she is at the wedding that she will put a show on in front of me, my son, my dad and the whole family and act like she wants to reconcile. After knowing what she is capable of as a sociopath and how she feels about me I know I will never let her be apart of my life again.

    The problem is should I ask my son not to invite her or tell him if she is invited that because of the hurt she has caused that I will not be able to attend his wedding if she is there? My son says despite what she has done he would like for us to put our issues aside for his wedding. I fear that if she is there that she will snicker about me behind my back as she has done many times before and try to cause some family drama. I will not be able to enjoy this happy moment with my son and his wife because I will be worrying about what she might do try to ruin my happiness.

    “PLEASE HELP”

    Be brutally honest as I will not be offended if you are trying to help with my situation

    Thanks

  16. Danna Says:

    @ Deborah: I hope your son has reconsidered, for his new bride’s sake. This is supposed to be her day, and any toxicity introduced by your sister, will dissipate your ability, as the mother of the groom, to focus well on them. In addition, your son is supposed to have more loyalty to you than to his aunt. Where has your husband, his dad, weighed in on this?

    That said, if your son will not relent, then I’d send another note to the same group of people now, with plenty of time before the wedding, explaining that you attempted reconciliation in a healthy way, your sister will not change her ways, and continues to make everything about her, regardless of the harm she inflicts, and you expect her to make a public display, attempting reconciliation, at the wedding, for that is what people of her personality profile do: They make sure they appear wonderful in public, in order to gain allies, and especially in order to gaslight their targets, but then, one on one, they go back to their toxic and one-sided ways. You hope she will be respectful and polite, and not make your son’s and especially you new dil’s special day about her, but please brace yourself for its opposite.

    That, in itself, will stop her.

    Then, when your relatives chide you that she didn’t do that, you can explain that you wrote the letter as a way to stop her, for her greatest pleasure is trying to make it seem like I’m the crazy one. Because I “predicted” she’d do it, therefore, to get at me, she would make sure she didn’t. Mission accomplished. My son’s and new dil’s wedding remained about them, not her. I was willing to take the risk of looking foolish, for the greater good for my son and new dil.

    Of course, having to deal with them on any level is a lose/lose. I’m sorry your son falls into the category of not “getting it,” like most of our world, which is exactly why we are in the mess we’re in. We are a world of enablers, which suits the malignant narcissists / sociopaths / psychopaths just fine.

  17. Danna Says:

    @ TK (#3): I disagree. They do not believe their own lies. They are just THAT good at acting. Getting others to believe they believe their own lies is simply an added layer of manipulation, for then, people start shrugging their shoulders with, “What can we do? They’re mentally ill. They believe their own lies.”

    This effectively disarms anyone from continuing to oppose them. Those who might make them accountable, give up. And then, the MN (malignant narcissist) / sociopath / psychopath continues on his merry way, now unopposed.

  18. Larry Says:

    @ Danna

    I’ll need to disagree with you, and support TK. Psychopaths live in the worlds that they create. They fabricate complete untruths, right down to the very minute details. They go over it so often that they begin to believe their own lies, which is why they are usually so convincing.

    Every psychopath is as different as any other person, but it is fact that they do eventually believe their own lies as truth. Another reason why they are so frightening. Ever see one under oath in court?

  19. Danna Says:

    Hi Larry.

    Thanks for the reply.

    Consider this: Why is it that they change their story so quickly when cornered by someone they view as an authority? That would indicate that they know they’re lying.

    To back you and TK: Their body functions remain unperturbed when they’re lying, which is why they can pass lie detector tests, and which indicates they believe their own lies.

    OR they’re just so used to lying, and it’s worked so well for them, that their bodies have completely acclimatized, even though they still know they’re lying.

    The fact that only they know, at any moment in time, that they’re lying is part of the pleasure for them – they hold power over the gullible “idiot” (they like to feel one up) at that moment.

    Ultimately, only they are inside their own heads, so only they know the real truth of whether or not they believe their own lies.

    I think it’s better, as we spread awareness, and as more and more people come on board to help reel in their seemingly logarithmic growth, that we view them as they know when they’re lying, so that they have less ability to deflect accountability.

    My opinion, anyway.

  20. Larry Says:

    Hi Danna,

    Reading over what I wrote, I stand corrected. That’s why I added the caveat: “Every psychopath is as different as any other person …” but I should have endorsed it more fully by saying it’s a fact they “can” instead of it’s a fact they “do.”

    I fully believe that I’ve experienced both. Sociopaths are not “black and white” as they come in every shade of gray. It likely depends on what else afflicts them, the gravity of the lie, etc.

    Thanks for your opinion.

  21. jo Says:

    I have to agree with Danna here. Sociopaths etc are not necessarily delusional. To say that they “create” a world is to underestimate the extent of their powers of manipualtion. They know they are lying. They simply do not care how these lies affect others and they do not care about anyone except themselves. They are not paranoid people who believe things that aren’t there.

    They have no respect for society and for society’s rules. Telling the truth is something that is related directly to one’s “conscience”. The lack of a conscience will of course affect your ability and your very need to tell the truth. So i agree with Danna. I think this thing about sociopaths believing their lies makes no sense. Saying that they live in a created reality affords a sort of innocence to the thing that simply is not there

  22. Larry Says:

    Hi Jo,

    Being “delusional” would likely indicate another disorder, and that is not uncommon with people suffering from mental disorders … they often suffer from more than one.

    The two that come to mind as having “delusional” listed as a trait is being “psychotic” (much different than psychopathy) and “schizophrenia.”

    Think of the movie “A Wonderful Mind.”

  23. Danna Says:

    Hi Larry. :)

    Yes, sociopath / psychopaths often have co-morbid (coexisting) disorders.

    And yes, the fact the term “psychotic” (which describes true breaks with reality, like the psychotic episodes that schizophrenics have), and “psychopathy” resemble each other, contributes to the confusion that many have.

    Spreading awareness, awareness, awareness, and then accountability, accountability, accountability (especially financial accountability, which will bring the swiftest, most effective change, since sociopaths / psychopaths care deeply about money above people’s hearts), hopefully, will help understanding the difference.

    Btw, it was “A Beautiful Mind” starring Russell Crowe as the Nobel prize winning (in mathematics) schizophrenic professor. (That’s the movie to which you refer – right?)

  24. Larry Says:

    Hi Danna,

    When I typed out “wonderful” I kept telling myself I was wrong, but for some reason, “beautiful” never entered my mind. Thanks for the catch. I did mean to say: “A Beautiful Mind”

    Such a “wonderful” flick  ;)

  25. Danna Says:

    Aha. I was right. ;)

    Btw, my recent experiences convince me even more that sociopaths / psychopaths know exactly when they are and are not lying.

    They are amazing actors. Oscar winning-worthy (just like A Beautiful Mind) except the deception has even more layers of danger because they are not identified as actors in disclosed-to-all movies.

    And they continue to enlist so many enablers and sycophants, utilizing their uncanny ability to tap into the insecurities of their new targets, utilizing strokes to their new targets’ egos, which make them (the new enablers) feel like the most important persons on the earth, for a slice of time. (The slice of time has to do with what the s-path needs from them, and needs for them to do for the s-path at that moment.)

    Amazing how the current enabler gets fooled, even when there’s readily available information to check the veracity of the s-path’s pity ploys and other stories.

    It speaks to how much the current enabler needs to feel loved and admired. Unfortunately, the current enabler aids and abets much destruction to what’s good and right and true in the long run, while the current enabler is getting their own needs met, regardless of how much it harms innocent others.

    May this change one day for future generations.

  26. Larry Says:

    >> my recent experiences convince me even more that sociopaths / psychopaths know exactly when they are and are not lying.

    I’m still in the undecided category if that applies to all psychopaths. I know it applies to some (based on face-to-face experience), but I also believe there’s a level of psychopath that believes their own lies as the truth (also based on face-to-face experience).

    Yes, they are acting all the time to fit in, but that’s also one way to spot one, as someone who overreacts all the time, such as laughing at the wrong time. It’s not as easy as one time, but it does give one enough suspicion to keep an eye on that person.

    I believe the majority of folks depend on playing follow-the-leader to get by or just be accepted in society, even if their society is a small group of people. Take the political parties for instance — my folks were party members, and simply voted down party lines.

    Political parties are almost the defining story of psychopaths. Consider they have a group that wants to lead, and they will make no qualms about attacking another candidate’s character and reputation.

    They have their circle of disciples that they work closely with, and then all the followers that do what they are told to do (e.g., vote). But I digressed.

    To put it as candidly as I can, enablers are not critical thinkers.

  27. Heather Says:

    Mine knew when he was lying. When what he promised was no longer “convenient” for him or who he said he was was not who he really was, he’d say, “I lied.” This, grinning, like a 10-year-old who’d been caught with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar. Or “I invented that whole persona to make you sleep with me and fall in love with me. It’s not really who I am.” Then later, he said, of course, that he never said that he invented the persona.

    I do believe that there are two people, at least, in that body–one who is doing the talking and manipulating and the other who is holding back and kind of “observing.” Every once in a while, the “observer” will break through with some real, earth-shattering truth, authenticity or confession but the rest of the time the charming, manipulative puppet is the only face you see.

  28. A. Says:

    I stopped reading the comments half way down.. they were interesting but heartbreaking. I am so glad there are others working through this, not just surviving it. I want a bumper sticker that says,
    “I’ve survived two sociopaths. Bring it on, bitches!”

    I would like to point something, it is brought up often that they don’t respond physically to threats, fear, etc. The first thing that Buddhism teaches is that discomfort is an indication to pay attention. If they were born without these respondes that indicates that they should pay attention, they will not pay attention. My oldest son is definitely not a sociopath but we have had to teach him to respond to certain things as he is not unresponsive but he is certainly less responsive. Seeing how my youngest son simply responds to a frown or tears, it is much different than the cerebral way my oldest does. I feel like this difference has given me some insight into how this sort of sociopathic house is built. I hope being my older sons notification system to pay attention to the world around him, understand what autonomy is and feel that compassion based on a big picture understanding is enough. So far, it is. :)

    I guess, what I’m trying to say is, don’t just look at this from a “right now” stand point but remember that these people were children once and I suspect that a vast majority of the people who grow up to be this way, they didn’t have to. With compassion, understanding and awareness that this develops in childhood… Sometimes the people you are labeling were abused, some of them are autistic and honestly don’t know any better, and some of them are genuine unable to care sociopaths… and like any rare, mythical creature – backing away quietly to avoid attention until you are so far away that they can’t find you is the only option.

    We’re hoping that is good enough anyway.

  29. Sara Says:

    Reading many of these comments, especially Deborah’s story about her sister and mother made me cry, because they are so similar to my own. For the longest time I thought nobody could ever understand what I went through. It’s good to know that’s not true.

    I was raised in a family of sociopaths. My mother was the worst. (In case you are wondering she shows all of the Factor 1 traits, and half of the factor 2, although I have never been able to ascertain her whole history so it might be more.) The abuse, torment, character assassination, and death threats go back as far as I can remember. As time went on, my sisters, especially the oldest amongst us, started to show some of the same traits. I have always feared that I will venture down the same path.

    We’ve always had very intelligent people in our family. As children, both me and my two older sisters were tested with IQs in the genius range. However my entire life my mother has belittled me, verbally abused me, and even manipulated others into getting me in trouble. She attacked my sisters as well, but she was always the cruelest to me. I always wondered if I somehow posed a threat to her, or if it was just convenient to attack me, the youngest (at the time).

    She drove both of my sisters to use drugs, and she tried to manipulate me into killing myself. When, in a effort to save myself from suicide, I managed to obtain mandatory psychiatric treatment, she convinced my psychiatrist that I was delusional and that I had Bipolar disorder. She managed to get me on so many medications that it affected my health and began passing out every time I took them. Just as my psychiatrist started to believe that there was something wrong with her, and not me, she managed to get the sessions cancelled.

    It was around High School I discovered that all of this was because she was a sociopath. She had been trying for years to make me kill myself. She had even tried to manipulate my sisters into killing me. A week before my graduation ceremony she, her mother (my grandmother), and her father (my grandfather), cornered me and started belittling me. Telling me that that I would never graduate, and that I would die, worthless and alone on the streets. That is when I realized it was hereditary.

    One particularly favorite facade of hers was to get my step father angry at me. She would get him riled up so that he would yell at me, or berate me for as long as up to 6 hours at a time. Several times she convinced him to hit me, always smiling and laughing silently behind him so he couldn’t see. Once she tore up an old sheet (she must have found it at good will or something because I had never seen it before in my life) and told him that I had torn up her baby blanket. Her tears seemed so real… right up until he stopped looking at her.

    A year or so later, I managed to escape and a found a friend and ally who could help me get back into school and far away from my mother and family. However I have never been able to escape the fear of becoming like my mother. I have been unable to form relationships, I struggle to feel empathy towards others after years of suppressing my emotions to survive, and I still face suicidal thoughts and thoughts of inadequacy because of what she did to me.

    But most importantly, I am deathly afraid she will find me again. She is still alive and married to my step father (or so I have been told), who is her complete puppet, and she has complete control over my young half brothers, who I love dearly. I wish I could return and save them, but I am afraid that if I do, I will put myself in danger by confronting my mother.

    I am now in college, and hiding from my family. I plan to live the rest of my life without a family. I know more than anyone how horrible life with a sociopath can be. I lived with one for the first 19 years of my life, and I never plan to do so ever again.

  30. Ruth Says:

    Reading these posts has been helpful. I’ll begin my story in April 2012. That’s when I moved my 80 yr old mom from Calif to be closer to me. Senior Social Services had threatened to make her a ward of the state and sell all her property to help cover the costs of putting her in a facility. My brother had abandoned his relationship with her about a year previous. So it was up to me. I could take care of her–you know, take her shopping, to the Dr., go to our kids’ concerts, come for Sunday dinner, holidays, etc.

    It was during the 3 moving trips that the subject of her infidelity to my father came up in a conversation (ok–she wanted to know why I never told her about the bullies I encountered, and I told her I didn’t trust her when I was growing up, and that I didn’t trust ANY adults.That’s how the subject came up). Well, this affair happened when I was 4–and I knew nothing about it–only that she tried to leave us. She told me all the gory, despicable details of this to me when I was 21. Now in April 2012, she flat out denies it ever happened. June 2012, she admitted to yet another affair. Then during the last moving trip in July, while reading letters which were in my late dad’s things, I discovered more promiscuity. I was upset because she had denied the affair which happened when I was 4, and indicated there must be something wrong with ME. To top it off, in a rare phone conversation with my brother, he told me there were NUMEROUS affairs. My poor dad was a saint to endure everything he did, because he did not believe in divorce. However, he did not know how bad off she really was. On the Hare scale, she scores a 2 on all 18 points. Maybe if he had known, he would have had her committed, even against my protests as a 14 year old.

    The police were our most consistent visitors. Violence permeated our home only one less degree than evil did. I watched in horror as my mom stripped my then 8 year old brother naked, beat him with my dad’s belt repeatedly til he was black and blue. She then turned him toward herself, giving him a full body hug while she was crying profusely, neglecting the fact that he was now both humiliated and in extreme pain…I caused this scene, because I lied. I knew if I confessed to what I had done, I would get the heat. I also knew that he was her favorite, and I was not. What would she do to me? The same thing. So I lied. I did it time and time again.

    He took my punishment for me, even though he protested loudly. I was believed. The remorse and the horrifying memories blend into a perfectly round ball that sits in the middle of my throat. I have apologized so many times. His hatred for me is complete. But my time was yet to come, when he blew up over doing the dishes when I was 11. Then I became her slave. There were problems with the plumbing, so my dad took it out from under the kitchen sink. Two buckets were used to catch the used water. I emptied the used water in the garage sink. Our vacuum was water-based (rainbow–if anybody remembers that one). My parents were both hoarders. Can you imagine vacuuming, dusting, sweeping, mopping around all the stuff? That was my job. Then put it all back where it was–exactly. No messing up, or I’d pay for it dearly.

    But back to mommy dearest…

    She spent my childhood. It was wasted on self-loathing, depression, wishing I were dead, anxiety, panic, all-out FEAR of her–which still exists today. I am 55 years old. I have a husband who loves me, and 5 daughters, 2 sons, 2 grandkids. All our kids are married and in college, except one who is in High School. I should be over this. I have been through 3 therapists. I should no longer fear her. Yet, I do. She is everything on the list, path liar, deceitful, manipulating, conniving, minimizing, narcissistic, thinks just like Scarlet O’Hara, feels NO LOVE, HAS never ever APOLOGIZED for ANYTHING she has ever done, is totally past feeling, but she can really put it on and makes accomplices which turn into her victims easily.

    She has aliases, prefers the company of convicts to her own grand-kids. She drives without a proper Driver’s license–and NO registration, has had multiple surgeries and then not paid the Dr.’s, has a lawsuit pending against a hospital, has filed bankruptcy, was the caretaker for my dad while he was bed-ridden with spinal stenosis and caused him to have stage 4 MRSA, by not turning him /changing his diaper, which proved to be his end. By the way, I told her about a new spinal stenosis surgery that could have healed him completely. It was not well-known at that time. I only found out about it from someone who had had it and was cured at the one facility in Calif doing the procedure. She hid the info from the Dr.’s till it was too late and he had renal failure. She hated him and she thought she could just keep him in that state indefinitely, and continue to get his social security.

    I told her good-bye yesterday. I cannot handle her lying and accusing me of all kinds of ridiculous things, constantly harassing me at all hours of the day. I can’t seem to stop yelling at her for all the lies and accusations. I just can’t. It infuriates me to sit and listen to all her garbage. So I feel it is best to cut all ties with her. I don’t want to become something I am unhappy with. I can’t become a witch, when I have worked through so much to eliminate so many negative traits I got from her. MY family means too much to me to become a raging idiot. I didn’t go through therapy 3 times for nothing. I am done with being a victim. It’s time to move on.

  31. Grace Says:

    Larry:

    Wow. You have done a fantastic job with detailing the counter covert operatives in your life. Kudos to you for the work you have done to share your story. You are spot on in your classification of these piranhas and I really liked the term disciples.

    I have spent some 5 + years trying to unravel the nightmare I willingly and happily said I do to. My church family became his disciples but a half intelligent human has more sense then a church filled with those who ignore truth.

    I escaped and have been on the mend for 2 years. I feel like I’ve been through a crash course is psychopathy but don’t have a clue on what to do with the information. As you are aware they come in all shades. I feel though mine appeared as an angel of white rescuing a damsel in distress, he was albeit – of the darkest shade.

    We had no children and all ties have been severed. In my opinion I was used as a front for his parasitic lifestyle. And as you know once they are questioned the assassination of character begins. Yet it bothers me that he is still running loose with no warning to others.

    Your site and story are desperately needed. It helps those who are in the trenches understand the traits better. Hare’s list is most valuable but more than half of society doesn’t understand how its applied in every day life. I actually have some things to add to that list (HA!).

    Keep up the great work and know there are many who are being helped by reading your story.

  32. Ruth Says:

    Sara, you just keep being strong. Never go back. All truth has it’s own time. Maybe someday your young half brothers will look you up.

    If you know any friends of their friends, that can help you keep tabs on where they go off to college or work, while maintaining your distance from the sociopath. It is VERY important to NOT go back. I have also recently learned that once you leave the snare, the destruction of your reputation begins with anyone and everyone who ever meant anything to you, including (unfortunately), family.

    This may include your half brothers. But do not fret about it. You have good memories of them as you were in a relationship with them previously. No one can take those precious memories from you, so they are yours for ever. No matter if those sweet boys get sucked into the snare or not.

    It is hard to leave family behind, I know, but just remember it is for your own health that you must do this. Who knows but one or all of the brothers may end up searching for a way out–and they will see that YOU made it out safely. You are a GREAT example!

    Go forth with faith, and make a good life which gives back to others. When marriage and family comes to you, take advantage of all the opportunities to learn how to raise young children in a loving environment, and YOU will have broken the unhealthy, dysfunctional family pattern! GO SARA!!

  33. Ruth Says:

    Larry, I can’t say thank you enough for making this blog. This is a place of retreat from the wild; the misunderstanding and judgements of others.

    Grace, thank you for posting here. I’m glad you are on the mend. I am not there yet. So to hear of your recovery gives hope to us all. There IS life after escape from a “piranha.”

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  34. Tory Says:

    This is taking a lot of strength to publish and I am sure people will not believe everything I am saying because of the confession… I feel that I am a sociopath… I was abused a lot as a kid (mentally) because my mother is a sociopath/narcissist… I would act out as a kid and lie a lot… I believe I will never get caught in a lot of the lies I tell and that they are very close to the truth, if not the truth. I do them for attention as it makes me feel more valued. The only thing I am missing in traits from the first group is a good self-esteem. I don’t really feel guilty until I am being called out for a lie.. I lash out and can be really mean with my words sometimes… I hope for my sake I am not a sociopath and that perhaps I am suffering from something else, but something has always told me I am different in a bad way… Please give me your opinions… Do you think I should get assessed?

  35. Larry Says:

    Tory,

    What would getting assessed accomplish? Nothing.

    You have the power to be whomever you want to be. I had a sociopathic father. I was constantly physically and mentally abused. His favorite child, my oldest sister, followed in his footsteps. I didn’t.

    You don’t need to, since you are already aware of some traits. Be the best you can be. Don’t hurt others just because you were. You can be bigger than that. Treat others as you would want to be treated, and you can’t go wrong.

  36. Artist Says:

    I think maybe the most sinister part about NPD’S and Sociopaths and other conscienceless people, maybe, is that they are also Sycophants?
    That is how my mother & brother lured me back time after time.
    I think that is a good word for it, from my experience anyway.
    Artist


    EDITOR: The word sycophant has its origin in the legal system of Classical Athens. Having no police force and a limited number of officially appointed public prosecutors, most legal cases were brought by private litigants. By the 5th Century, BC, however, this practice had given rise to abuse by litigants who brought unjustified prosecutions. Such a litigant was called a “sycophant”. The word retains this meaning in Modern Greek and in French, of an informer, but in modern English, the meaning of the word has shifted to mean an insincere flatterer. -Wikipedia

  37. Artist Says:

    Tory…
    Doesn’t a liar have to keep his/her eye on the Truth at all times,
    in order to lie?
    What a lot of work.
    Why not just go with Truth?
    Also a question, do you find yourself constantly making patterns to remember all your lies?
    Again, lots of work.
    Why not just go with Truth?
    If one has lied all his/her life so doesn’t even remember who they are,
    they still know the Truth,
    Or they could not lie.
    Why not just go with Truth?
    The simple Truth.
    Artist

  38. Larry Says:

    Artist,

    I thought it was interesting that the correct pronunciation of “sycophant” is “psycho-phant” — I’ll need to read up more in Wikipedia to see if there’s more to the similarity.

  39. Artist Says:

    I thought of another possible twist to
    Sycophant behavior to be aware of.
    Not just the main definition:
    “Insincere Flatterer”.

    This sounds/is Biblical but i posted it
    really just for
    Historical, Not Religious reasons.

    Do you think there can be
    Sycophants, Sociopaths, Psychopaths and/or NPD’s…

    who even convince themselves that they are friends of a certain person,
    (usually someone with more anything than they have or bother to attain to, yet could if they put in the effort),
    but the “friends” are actually
    Sycophants?

    Maybe it does not always become apparent until the Sycophant’s “Idol/Victim”, runs into problems?
    After all, they have to get to know the victim in order to falsely flatter their “friend” to gain whatever, power, wealth whatever it is the Sycophant wants, so they know just how to work their evil magic.

    I have been reading Job.
    Job 2:16 talks about Job’s 3 friends.
    At first they come
    “to visit and comfort him” -KJV Orthodox Study Bible.
    Pretty soon, however, the three friends begin to
    Cut Job Down,
    (partly because they could not understand exactly what he was going through),
    but if i understand correctly, the 3 “friends” begin to
    Try to Make Job Blame Himself
    for his unimaginable difficulties.
    (Which would make Job vulnerable to be swayed by the Sycophant…
    because why would anyone be an
    Insincere Flatterer unless they plan to manipulate the victim?
    They might have wanted some
    “Toilet Tissue”, but they were the “Toilet Tissue” as Larry might say.
    Job was kind, wealthy and had a large loving family.
    Does anyone think that maybe the three friends,
    Eliphaz, Zophar, and Bidad
    were actually
    Sycophants?

    My point is, that maybe
    Sycophants, Sociopaths, Psychopaths and/or NPD’s
    have been around a very long time, very unfortunately.

    I guess we have to really be able to identify these people and take their friendship with a grain of salt, hoping we can tell which ones are actually
    True friends?

    I think Larry is really helping us all identify the Traits of both Victims and Perpetrators and now understand the importance of understanding both.

    Is this making any sense?
    Thanks for everyone’s patience with me.
    Artist

  40. Artist Says:

    TK on 2011.02.11 at 00:14
    Re:
    “One more to add to the list from my personal experience. This could be an extension of “Pathological Lying”.

    When a sociopath lies, he has no awareness that he is lying. What he says, the opinions he expresses, at that moment, is the utter universal truth. He is not aware that minutes ago he was professing the exact opposite.”

    I agree but disagree.
    The reason a Sociopath seems to be telling the Truth, or appearing to “think they are telling the Truth”, albeit with some intimidation, is because they are constantly aware of the Truth. That is what is so nasty about them.
    Even if they believe their own lie, they have to KNOW THE TRUTH MENTALLY, otherwise they cannot lie. TOO BAD THEY DON’T JUST LIVE THE TRUTH INSTEAD.

    No on can lie,
    unless they know the Truth.
    Liars have to always
    keep one eye on the Truth,
    in order to lie
    which is against the Truth
    or it could not be a lie.

    Artist

  41. Artist Says:

    My experience and extensive research as a victim trying to figure out what was
    “wrong”, with in my case,
    my mother and later realizing also my brother, (there were no other family members), led me to this conclusion…

    Re: Narcissistic Personality Disorder,
    (not to be confused with Narcissism).
    NPD, Sycophants, Sociopaths and probably others not defined yet,
    hide their victims or hide aspects of their behavior, (which is lying), from the people who are their audience,
    tell the audience horrible things
    (or great things but taking credit for the great things, depending on the particular act/lie/lies),
    about the victim,
    and tell the victim inaccurate things about the audience.

    Specifically about NPD’s for a moment.
    The NPD is a magician at separating the victim from the audience
    and
    can switch the situation on a dime,
    if the NPD needs to,
    but always to the detriment of the victim.
    Usually all topics have to do with how the NPD was treated.
    When the NPD is talking to the audience,
    they tell them how the victim
    mistreated them.
    When they are talking to the victim
    they tell them how the audience
    treats them,
    with a slight bent
    toward the audience not giving the NPD
    enough credit for something they have done.
    The NPD MAKES SURE
    THE AUDIENCE IS AGAINST THE VICTIM IN UNISON.
    Then the NPD works out very clever set-ups to get
    the unsuspecting victim
    in front of the audience
    so the victim is outnumbered,
    THEN BANG!!!

    The NPD is probably giggling inside, with no conscience,
    not even a care for a close family member.
    The poor victim is left wondering;
    “What in the world just happened?”

    Instead of the victim getting support from the perpetrator,
    (who has become in a way,
    a Sycophant now,
    because they take on the glory to cut the explanation short),
    the Perpetrator only dramatizes a smokescreen such as crying, fainting, yelling, hitting or even killing then hiding the victim,
    to confuse the audience,
    so the audience
    NEVER believes the VICTIM if the can find them.

    It is a form of KILLING.
    Apparently serial killers
    have NPD from what i have read.

    Have you ever noticed the common thread in all these disorders,
    (which are not all mental illnesses as they can be turned on and off on a dime as needed by the perpetrator)?
    Question:
    Is it lies?
    Is it Truth?
    Is it both?
    Answer:
    If it is all the above.
    You have your proof that they
    ALL KNOW THE TRUTH,
    for in each case
    one must know the Truth in order to lie.

    Truthful people might lie but try to correct it, even tiny lies.
    Liars know the Truth but tell more lies to further confuse and distract the victim.
    ONE CANNOT LIE UNLESS THEY KNOW THE TRUTH,
    OR THEY WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO LIE,
    BECAUSE A LIE IS ALWAYS AGAINST THE TRUTH.
    Therefore these NPD, Sycophants, SOCIOPATHS AND OTHER LYING people are behaving the way they do
    INTENTIONALLY.
    They are not mentally ill.
    They are LIARS.

    The human brain can
    only remember 5+ or -2 things
    at one time.

    Each lie is 2 things to remember.
    The Truth and the lie about the Truth.

    If a person tells 3 lies they have exceeded the five in 5+ or -2 things to remember at one time, because 2×3=6.

    If a person tells 4 lies they are up to eight things to remember at one time.

    It only takes 4 lies in general to exceed the capacity of the human brain to remember 5+ or -2 things at one time.

    How do they remember so many lies, these intelligent sociopaths and NPD’s and others?
    By creating patterns and
    by recruiting others to help them remember their lies.
    This is called manipulation.

    When a person wants to manipulate another person they must tell lies.
    (Depending on the intelligence of the liar, they may become badgering, bullying, pushy and adept at acting and blowing smokescreens such as Histrionic displays and more,
    to make their audience believe their story about the Victim, by taking the focus off the Perpetrator.
    (BTW the Audience and Victim may not be present at the time. That would be a huge brain overload for the Perpetrator.)

    The Perpetrator lies, hides, deceives, twists, skews, denies and tells stories that somehow don’t fully add up because…
    THEY ARE LIES.
    The so called
    “Sociopath Gene” is
    “LIES”.

    I believe it is important for victim types to pay attention to their intuition so that if they feel an odd twinge too many times, regarding something a potential perpetrator is telling them, to excuse themselves from the situation in some form or fashion which does not anger the potential perpetrator, but to excuse themselves if at all possible WITHOUT LYING. Lying is a very dangerous behavior.

    Just my observations of course.
    Thank you for your patience.
    Artist

  42. Emet Says:

    This is in response to the person who posted her stepdaughter qualifies as a psychopath. So does mine. She’s now cut me off. The warning signs were there for almost two decades, but I didn’t want to label her when she was younger. I saw what I thought was the good in her. This was a teenager who practiced facial expressions in front of the mirror. How creepy is that? She didn’t/doesn’t have real emotions so taught herself the gestures. Underneath the heartache I feel, there’s a strong sense of liberation. I find myself looking forward to my life.

  43. Artist Says:

    To TK regarding “when a sociopath lies they have no idea they are doing it” and the person who posted about his daughter practicing facial expressions in the mirror, as maybe not knowing what they are doing….
    In my opinion, at least 99% of cases
    EVERYONE KNOWS THE TRUTH AT ALL TIMES, OTHERWISE IT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE TO LIE, AS THE LIES ARE DIRECTED AGAINST THE TRUTH. They might not mind that they are lying but they KNOW the TRUTH and therefore KNOW THEY ARE LYING. They have turned themselves into Sociopaths, persons with no conscience, by excessive lying. This is why lying is so dangerous.
    An example of knowing the Truth but lying is practicing facial expressions in front of a mirror…they know which ones show Truth and they know which ones show lies. Otherwise, how could they tell the difference in facial expressions?
    (It is all about lying, which by definition is against the Truth; it is so simple no one believes me.)
    :-)
    Artist

  44. Artist Says:

    Kelley re post 2010.10.01 at 15:48
    My step daughter has almost all of these traits. The only one she doesn’t have is high self-esteem.
    In my opinion, the liw self esteem is what drives these people to become sociopaths, or as i like to call them, LIARS. They feel they are in an inferior position to someone, so they lie to pump themselves up. Once they lie too many times they cannot remember their own soul any more because they dump information in their brains which is their conscience. After a while they have effaced their own concience with lies and are holding a jumble of lies in their head which need organizing. That is why they manipulate and recruit other people to help them remember their lies. I know you worry about the kids but maybe not all the kids will buy her lies, probably the one that she makes the focus of her lies, the one who lives by Truth. That poor kid has it really rough but they never give up the Truth because no matter how much they hurt, they can feel that Truth is stronger than lies so they stay with the Truth. That is the kid who is ultimately going to be a whole and good person.
    Just my 56+ years of obervations of my own family.
    (I feel sorry for liars because it is so much work…coming up with the lies, telling the lies, manipulating people and such a brain overload because each lie is 2 things to remember, the lie and the Truth. They have to constantly keep one eye on the Truth or they would be unable to lie.)
    :-)
    Artsit

  45. Artist Says:

    I make a lot of typos for an artist, like liw instead of low and forgetting quote marks.
    Sorry

  46. Infectedpsy Says:

    Hi Artist,

    Your description of your step daughter and low self esteem sparked an interest. Have you considered that there may well be another predator among us, that is not necessarily considered or is a psychopath?

    Reason I ask is, I had a short term friend with very similar traits to a psychopath, ( yes I have been up close and personal with a couple of pyschopath’s in the past) but this type, struck me as a little different, due to the low self-esteem and lack of confidence, psychopaths don’t lack this imo.

    Some time went by before honing in on what this type of predator could have been, thanks to a short video name “Trauma Vampires” by Thomas Sheridan, he’s knowledge on psychopaths is a good read. I had a light bulb moment then onwards. These people basically feed of your trauma I call them “Misery whores”. They share the same compulsive lying and manipulative traits to get what they want but there slightly different.

    Is it possible that there is another human predator? Or just a low functioning psychopath? I would welcome any thoughts on this subject as it really is something that should be taken into consideration.

  47. Artist Says:

    Is there a name for a type of Sycophant, in this case another artist, who plays up to you by telling you “we are friends”, But you feel nothing from them. Like they only exist over the telephone, which btw is not really your voices but rather tagged chips of data that flow over the phone lines and reassemble for the other party to hear when they get to their phone…so even the literal phone or as i call them “phoney” relationships aren’t real either, sorry so techie on that.
    Anyway the closest name i can think of is Sycophant, but over time, like 38 years or so, you realize they not only are not your friend but they are making a bad attempt at manipulating you?
    What i mean is, that person might ask you to send them ideas so they can paint them for you, (what?) or even go so far as to tell you they came across a magazine cover you did as a job for them (which only paid $50.00 but you know they had to get a bigger payout btw,) and would you like a copy of it. Now being an addict that other artist has told you this story at least 6 times and you have replied each time that you have copies and even the original, BUT NOW THAT ARTIST IS INSERTING THINGS LIKE, I THINK I DID THE LAYOUT FOR THIS, OR WAS IT YOUR IDEA. To which i flatly stated it was my concept of the verbal job but no layout was provided.
    Ok so what i am trying to explain is that i have a pretty good idea from other reasons too long for this long post, that this artist is a sycophant, BUT NOW THE ARTIST IS TRYING TO ASSUME MY CREATIVITY AS IF IT WERE THEIR OWN.
    My mother used to do something similar. She was the most advanced case if NPD/GASLIGHTING i have yet to see, but it took me 56 years to find out what she was doing. So my mother, for her fun and her audiences, would sometimes assume my personality. It was sooo freaky. She knew me well so acted like me in front of people. I acted like me in front of them too but i was the one made to seem phony because i was shocked and thinking about what she was doing while she was doing it, so my mind was mostly on her behavior.
    So what do you call this?
    Chameleon? Is there a better name?
    The artist btw, was sneaky because how could we be friends if we never did anything together but that art job i did for her, which she probably ripped me off for anyway. We never shopped, went for coffee, me to do laundry…nothing. She made me a figment of her imagination.
    Next question; how could i be so stupid to let it go on for so long?

  48. Artist Says:

    Hi Infectedpsy!
    How interesting.
    Yes i really think there is at least one other type of predator out there.
    I agree that these things need to be studied and verified and given a name like “Parasitic Psycopath” but a Pyscopath is by nature parasitic, just like the Sociopaths and especially the Sycophants. Lets not forget those NPD’ers and Gaslighters.
    I would like you to say more about your idea so i can understand you better, but YES there are other types of predators out there.
    Every predator is a liar. They have to lie.
    They know the Truth probably better than anyone because Truth is required to be able to lie. Otherwise you cannot lie. I don’t think they have conciences.
    They are out to lunch but just getting by through other people like the insects Wasps. They poke themselves into a living thing and feed off the living thing. I had to put down my favorite ants but Honeypot Ants do a similar thing. Certain ones of them fill up with sugar so the rest of the colony can feed off them. They like sacrifice their lives to allow canibalistic behavior which is a whole different thing. (I wrote a poem about Honeypot Ants btw).
    I am really not clear on what you mean but would like to hear more.
    (Btw i was not clear in my post that i was commenting for another persons post about her step daughter. Sorry)
    Please say more. Brain Eaters, canibals, Parasites, Misery Whores is goot because the people ENABLE you to feel bad and run to them so they can secretly feel subtle power?
    :-)

  49. Artist Says:

    In my last post i meant to say:
    “I hate to put down my favorite ants but”…

  50. Artist Says:

    Hi Larry re: Larry on 2010.11.16 at 13:04

    You reminded me of something.
    My mother was for the first time going to meet me for coffee cuz i lived a block from her work.
    I went to the main downstairs lobby to meet her and she started to absolutely panic that anyone from her job would meet me.
    Years later i put it together that she was telling people i treated her really badly or something crazy and was scared that they would find out it wasn’t true.
    I think she was getting sympathy from her coworkers by saying i did something to her or i was in an insane asylum or i was in a permanet wheelchair, God only knows.
    Then we went for coffee around the corner and she was still freaking out like a secret would be found out. She had huge glasses on and for the first time i really noticed that;
    She was not looking me in the eye but pretending to. (Later she would tell me “italians look at the bridge of a persons nose between their eyes to shun someone by not looking them in the eye”)
    Prior to that she blamed me for her divorcing my poor dad and the guy she married;
    Hated me violently before i ever had a chance to say hello.
    Same thing with my brothers wife;
    She hated me visciously from the second i saw her.
    The only thing i could think of, and it took years, was that they were telling their spouses terrible things about me but i never found out what it was.
    They never changed.
    My mother kept it up even when i went to see her on her death bed.
    What is that?

  51. Artist Says:

    I think all these
    Sycophants
    NPD’s
    Sociopaths
    Psychopaths
    Etc
    All have low self esteem or at least start out with it, so they lie about the strong Truthful person to diminish him or her, and thereby make themselves feel powerful. But they don’t realize that every lie is two things to remember: the lie and the Truth that the lie is about. The human brain can only remember 5+ or -2 things at one time, so even three lies is getting to be a brain overload for them because that’s six things to remember at one time by the time they tell four lies, now they have exceeded the normal human capacity of remembering more than 5+ or -2 things at one time because they have to remember eight things.
    So some lash out some throw a fit some panic some throw a tantrum some faint… Basically because they have given themselves a brain overload by lying. In my opinion this excessive lying causes these people to lose their consciences because they have to dump out part of their own memory of themselves in order to remember all their lies. Now we have people that have obliterated their own memories of themselves, their consciences and so can harm others in any way they please, without a whim.
    Just my observation.

  52. Artist Says:

    Hi Infected Psy
    I was simplifying again and came up with another type of predator.
    This is a true predator i am speaking of in the broadest terms. The daily behavior of this predator is not done to preserve lives because of oppression of some sort, or in order to remain alive in an oppresive situation. This predator is all pervasive, destructive, cunning, mercenary, has forgotten who they are and replaced themselves with what they do. They do it as if they were a magician.
    This “New” Predator has a name. This Predator has had the same name since human life began most likely.
    This Predator is Human.
    This Predator plays
    a very dangerous game and
    goes by the name of
    LIAR.
    Just my Observation and Experience.
    Just my opinion.
    (And they all know the Truth, or it would be impossible to lie. What a lot of work. Having to remember two things for every lie, the Truth that the lie is about, and the lie itself which requires constant maintenance.)
    Artist

Your insights are appreciated ...

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