People working for me had to work really hard to lose their job. When I identified someone as losing focus, passion, or ambition, I’d climb aboard. I wanted to find out what was causing the change. Generally, one doesn’t go from a valued employee to a questionable employee just as a whim.

It may not be something they wanted to talk about at first, and that’s OK, as it was not the most important aspect. I respected their privacy, and they knew that. But after they realized I was truly concerned about them, and my focus was on their well-being, they virtually always opened up. When we got to that point, I felt fairly sure that I saved a good employee.

There’s usually something at the base of it all, something responsible for the trauma — potentially outside the office environment — and that “something” can usually be fixed. Usually.  But what if it’s an excellent employee who became ineffective, virtually overnight, as well losing his ability to keep his high performance and work-quality ratings? This is someone who’s been with the company a long time.

Since all he knows for sure is that he has been shunned and made an outcast by those he used to call friends, how can he possibly explain “what the problem is” to his supervisor or the HR department?

He’s been made to believe that everything is of his own doing. He is unable to discuss it, since even he doesn’t know what “it” is. What if this person has become the victim of a sociopath — a co-worker he barely knows?

In today’s corporate environment, he doesn’t have a chance.

Any Companies Trained to Deal with Sociopath Employees?

I’ve not heard of even one company that has realized the need to become sociopath-aware and proactive. Not one. So in the scenario above, that “excellent employee” will be deemed ineffective and unnecessary to the company, and likely given his pink slip. The company successfully rid itself of an “excellent” employee who was only temporarily marginal — he needed trained help.

As far as that goes, the company — representing most companies — is in the stone age. Feeling a previously-unknown level of grave, dark despair, as well as like a complete outcast, the company provides the frosting and tells him he’s not even good enough for his job.

But just on the other side of the floor, the sociopath is feeling extremely high, as he just chalked-up another success. By manipulating his followers (company co-workers), the sociopath got them to do most of the dirty work of spreading his malicious character assassination against the unsuspecting and innocent man.

The results of such action are so truly heinous, as it would tear deeply at the man’s soul, leaving him to question his own being. By the time the man became aware of the way he was being treated by everyone, he was doomed. It was too late. There was nothing he could do.

The company’s management may have even interviewed others about this employee, and since management heard the same things from everyone, they were confident they were making the right decision. All based on the flawed Majority Rules, where everyone repeats the same hearsay — 100 lies do not equal even one truth. In the end, the sociopath created an environment where he got the management to fire someone who “bothered” him. Does that seem far-fetched? If it does, trust me: not even the Law will get in their way.

Hello?! You just phuqued-up and told the wrong guy to walk.
What does this mean going forward?

Short Term
The Ex-Employee:  Devastated, not just by losing his job, but by the sociopath-induced, character assassination. Currently looking for a new job, but feels great despair due to believing it was all of his doing.
The Company:  A positive feeling … got rid of “obvious” dead-weight. Not much more thought given to it.
The Sociopath:  Another Win … chalked-up an additional, well-planned and executed success. No plans for retirement any time soon.

Long Term
The Ex-Employee:  Doing much better. New job, positive environment, making new friends, likely works for a competitor. Big loss and oversight by the previous employer.
The Company:  Long-since forgotten employee #1, though now dealing with more, and strikingly similar employee problems (“strikingly” to them if they just opened their eyes). Still unaware of the spreading “cancer” within.
The Sociopath:  Continued successes. Has built a large following. Anyone — even just due to the sociopath’s paranoia — appearing to have the ability to expose the sociopath, or complicate his plans, is systematically added to the target list.

Longer Term
The Ex-Employee:  Doing great. His new employer saw his potential and promoted him accordingly.
The Company:  Never got a clue. Stock price did a major drop as many top-execs left. Employee moral at an all-time low. Lay-offs continued.
The Sociopath:  He manipulated the company with precision, and was considered an excellent employee. Due to the problems he sees with the company, especially the lay-offs of his followers, he is planning a move to another company.

First and foremost, that person is a life with lots going on … secondly, that person has a job. The job is to support that life. If that life is having marital problems, as an example, coming down on that person hard, giving them warnings, or simply firing them, can contribute so much pain to their already difficult situation, that it could just about send them over the edge.

Take this from one who’s experienced both: marital problems can be devastating, but are usually no where near the grief in becoming a sociopath’s victim. Being a sociopath’s victim while having marital problems at the same time, though, really sucks — and yes, that comes from my own personal experience. I’m a sociopath magnet.

So, for my struggling employees, I’d greet them each morning with an encouraging look of an outlook … the one they’d come to realize that really said I did care about them. And since nothing lasts forever, once their “situation” got resolved, and they got back to their pre-stressed life, part of them would never be the same.

The most accurate analogy (though maybe not the best) I can think of is if you’ve ever rescued an abused dog, and spent the time teaching it to trust humans again. Just as in the canine, you know which part of that employee will never be the same again (and trust me on this, as I was a dog in a previous life). I wish more people were like dogs.

When I Changed Jobs

When I would get recruited by another company, and I told my staff I’d be leaving, I’d most assuredly have a stack of updated résumés on my desk the next morning. When I had openings, I never needed to advertise. I just made-the-day for one of my previous staff members by asking them if they happened to be looking for a change.

Some of my previous employers got very pissed-off since within 4-5 months after I left, half the department had followed me. What’s it feel like to have your staff follow you? It’s one of the most humbling and gratifying experiences I ever had.

The Hiring Challenge

When I needed to fill a position, but I didn’t have any more on my list to draw from, I reverted to Plan B — referrals. I’d ask my staff if they knew of anyone who was in the market for a new job, and possessed the required qualifications. By the next morning, I most assuredly had a stack of new résumés on my desk.

That was when my challenge began, because I figured my staff would have only contacted the best candidates they knew, so I could feasibly pull a résumé from the middle and make a good addition to our group. But I never saw it as that simple.

At that point, my responsibility was to my current staff. I needed to make sure that whoever I hired to join our team, would not turn out to be a bad apple … a sociopath would be a bad apple. I discovered long ago it’s relatively easy to find qualified candidates, but the difficult part is selecting harmonious candidates.

Hiring one bad apple can destroy an entire team in no time at all. Once I got it down to the group finalists, the final interview included each member of my staff interviewing the candidate alone, and then as a group.

I stressed to them that some very talented candidates may become unnerved by the large number of individual interviews, as well as the horrifying group interview. I said it was incumbent upon them to make the candidate feel at ease, as this was not about the job skills — this was about working together. The concept wasn’t perfect, but I believe our success rate spoke for itself.

The Next Challenge:
How do you Eliminate the Sociopath Candidates?

The very last thing you want is to let a sociopath sneak in with a job … the little faux pas could bring down a company, though that probably would not be the sociopath’s goal. If the success of your company, though, is based on valued, long-time dedicated staff, the damage a sociopath can do is enough to disrupt the balance of the glue that holds it all together.

###

Hers were very calmly delivered, pure psychological degradation. She was very narcissistic, such as entering beauty pageants, taking modeling classes, and becoming a varsity song girl (i.e., cheer leader) in high school. She craved the attention, and would walk past me on campus as if we were complete strangers — no, actually she’d probably smile to a complete stranger.

Sometime between his teens and 20s, my younger brother, Alan, emerged with his own narcissistic and violent, sociopathic characteristics. None of us were close growing up. The only two siblings who maintained an ongoing relationship into adulthood were Kathy, the oldest, and Alan, the youngest. They also shared the similar violent and hostile temperaments, the charming personas, and the complete lack of compassion, morality, integrity and of course, any semblance of honesty.

I guess from sheer luck, the gene skipped me. Doing so, though, resulted in me becoming the outcast, the same way my mom would end up being treated.

Question: What’s considered a bad-upbringing in terms of a sociopath … being spoiled or being abused?  Just food for thought.

It’s in our Genes … not our upbringing.

In summary, the bad gene was brought into the family from my dad’s side, and he passed it to three of his four offspring. I believe that I carry the gene, though I was the skipped generation. From what I’ve been able to gather, my dad got the bad gene from his mother’s side. The source paths don’t seem that difficult to identify, as long as one has a sufficient, if not just a minimal amount of experience to compare both parents.

Obtaining additional knowledge gathered from other branches of the family would prove very beneficial as well. And as luck would have it, I was recently contacted by a “distant cousin” from another branch of our family. He located me on Ancestry.com — a site I registered on a few years ago as a free member, and frankly, that was all I ever did. But his contact was very timely.

To tell my story completely, one must also know the physical trauma and injuries I endured, beginning with a broken back at the age of 12, and how my siblings used that to increase their character assassination of me, sometime after my hospital stay about 40 years later.

At the end of 2001, I had surgery on my back, and was infected with MRSA around my spine. Initially not even expected to survive, and after 120 days of intensive treatment, I never fully recovered. You can read all about the details leading up to that event from the links in the right column, right under MY NINE LIVES. If you do read it, pay close attention to the characteristics of my surgeon, and see if you recognize any familiar traits.

As I’ve said many times: “They kept me alive, but took away my life.”

How many sociopaths have you had in your life?

People who think they can read 10-steps on how to identify a sociopath need a reality check — it’s virtually impossible. Sociopaths are so cunning, such great actors, so manipulative, seemingly some of the nicest people around, that if you do suspect someone, there’s a good chance you identified a jerk. Sociopaths focus everything on hiding their true personality. They are the ones most people never suspect. Such as Bernard Madoff.

Unless you happen to witness something that sends chills up your spine — chances are you’ll never suspect anything. But if you do see something, you better hope they didn’t see you. If they discovered you witnessed something, anything, even nothing but they react from their own paranoia, it’s time for you to change jobs, or even move out of state. Because even if that individual laughs it off with an acceptable excuse, they now know you saw something that could threaten them.

The sociopath will win. They have no limits … you do.

They may even appear to become better friends with you, and that’s all it would be is “appearance.” What they could be doing is keeping a closer eye on you, and without raising your suspicions, attempt to determine exactly what you do know, what you did see, and what you will discuss. While at the same time, as they learn more about you, they could begin the process to decimate your character, spreading the most evil and malicious lies about you. So evil, that people who had associated with you, will begin to avoid you.

A sociopath takes no risks with having their public persona revealed as a fake, as that would threaten their entire lifestyle. Even if only fueled by their own paranoia, a sociopath will not wait to go on the defensive. What they do is what I call: offensive-revenge. A sociopath has virtually no boundaries or limits … they see it as a job that needs to be done, and nothing will get in their way to prevent them from achieving success. Not even the legal system.

It’s all in their public persona. Someone may present their persona at home, 24/7, just as they do everywhere else. Even a spouse can be extremely difficult to recognize as having sociopathic characteristics if they are determined to hide it from everyone, as they know even family can be a threat.

I believe that a sociopath can be so extremely ruthless, so evil, so guilt-free, that they are capable of what I call: indirect homicide. Such as a victim that became so banished and an outcast by those he considered friends, that the victim could resort to ending his own life.

And that sociopath would continue their maliciously evil lifestyle without losing a bit of sleep.

But frankly, we should really start at the beginning …

###

NEXT:  Growing-up hated by my loved ones.

Therefore, the most important asset a victim can have is an abundance of undeniable evidence … solid substantiation to support the truth. Your word against their’s has a foregone conclusion — you will lose. Virtually no one will believe your description of the sociopath’s activities, statements, or their real character, since that charming persona has already destroyed your character, made themselves look incapable of any such activity you claim, and likely made you out to be a dishonest jackass.

The sociopath will not lose

A sociopath’s goal is to protect their public persona — protect their real personality from being exposed — and nothing will get in their way. They need to make sure your credibility is destroyed, so if anyone does listen to you, they won’t believe you. Saying that it is truly a living nightmare doesn’t do it justice. Becoming a victim is indescribable, something I know all too well. But what quickly becomes a sad realization, is how shallow and gullible the typical person is. People will easily pass judgment on an innocent victim based upon nothing but hearsay.

There’s not much better evidence than having the sociopath’s own words recorded. And better yet, audio with video. Technology has reduced the size of video cameras for spy use, and hidden them in items as small as a working ball-point pen — that’s right, a video camera with audio in a pen.

Be patient … don’t try to force the sociopath to say anything. They’ll get suspicious, and stop talking to you.

Recording in Person

Back during my divorce in 1995, I carried a micro-cassette recorder in my pocket, recording all discussions with my then-future ex-wife, Julie. Having it in my pocket, though, without a suitable external mic, resulted in very noisy, hard-to-hear audio. But it was better than nothing.

Technology has advanced quite a bit since then, such as a typical iPhone or iPod can record 10 or more hours without stopping. Discovering that you’ve been targeted creates the immediate need to begin collecting the best evidence possible to discredit your predator. And I say “immediate” because by the time someone realizes that they’ve been targeted, it’s possible that the sociopath had a head-start of a year or more.

Recording Phone Calls Legally

In late January 1995, about three weeks after Julie moved out, I set-up a phone recording system to record the conversations I had with her. That was a Sunday. When I returned home from work the following day, I discovered that Julie was sneaking into my home during the day and taking things … as well as using the phone.

In her very first use of the phone with the recorder connected, she called her office and spoke with her assistant, Christopher. That was precisely when I discovered that Christopher was much more than her assistant. She noted early in the conversation that the phones had been moved around, to which they both discussed for a while, then concluded that I was probably recording calls. But once they reached that conclusion, they simply went on with their conversation.

In my state of residence, one can record any phone call when at least one party on the call is aware of being recorded. There does not need to be any notification, such as a 15-second beep, or any other announcement. Just as long as at least one person knows.

Acknowledgement of being recorded

This first 8-second clip is of Christopher addressing me directly on the tape, thereby indicating he knew he was being recorded … they both did. In any event, I did not intend to record them, as they were using my phone without permission, when Julie snuck into my home while I was at work.

Based on all these things, I believe Christopher’s following statement would have been an admission of acknowledgement, and would have worked against them if the case had gone to court.

“… take food.”

Julie called Christopher at work, and obviously from her first comment, she came to my house to take a drill.

The very next part, Julie asks Christopher if he can think of anything else she should take, and under her mumblings, he says “take food.” As you listen through to the end, pay attention to her reaction … she knew that I’d be home to feed the kids within the hour.

A Battered Woman? … or an Evil, Scheming Woman?

Listen closely to Julie in this recording. Does she sound like a frightened, battered woman, or woman just taking care of business? No one on this planet has ever seen any violence from me, including Julie. But Julie, herself, is unpredictably violent.

This allows you to hear how easily a sociopath will plan malicious lies to destroy an innocent person. Just business. Only six weeks earlier, she was trying to convince me to have another child with her.

“Break the Rules …. It’s Really the Way I Think”

What Julie really means here is: “Break the Law or whatever it takes.”

The following is one reason, I believe, why Julie’s sister, Lori, told me to get a restraining order to keep Julie away from DK and EK. Lori also said, “Larry, you need to get custody to save those kids.”

Lastly, pay attention, not only to what she said, but how she said it — she’s on an psychotic roller coaster, illicit drugs, or both.

“… it’s Forcing me to Take the Kids and Run …”

… and this is another of Lori’s suggestions. In this clip, Julie blatantly lies by stating that I am making threats.

She continually destroyed my character by making me out to be a threatening, violent person, and did so with ease and without a hint of guilt. I do believe that this was all brought on by a mania, as she is also bipolar.

Take note, though, as to what she’s doing: Julie is making a threat to take the kids. That would be illegal. 

As above, note her emotional swings — I think it’s both.

How Character Assassination Spreads

The following audio clip shows how easily character assassination spreads. Julie has to keep her credibility, so she has to stick to her lies … she continued it to the present.

1) The male voice is Christopher’s — he and I had never met, nor had we ever even spoken.

2) Christopher states that he has me figured out, yet he’s only repeating back to Julie the malicious lies that she’s fed him about me.

3) Julie agrees with him as if he figured it out on his own.

4) Ironically, even though he says that I’m controlling, he’s blind to see that he’s being controlled by Julie.

5) This provides more details as to the lies Julie was (and is) spreading about me to not just Christopher, but everyone, including my sister, Kathy. She must keep her story straight to avoid getting busted.

6) What Christopher stated about me is what he will tell others … and the character assassination simply continues.

Julie calls me

I’ve got many of these. This is a very typical call between Julie and me during that period.

She’s also lying here, as I knew she was not at “Jill’s house.”

“… play doctor with me … good, I like that.”

In 1995, I was granted full legal and physical custody of our four-year-old son, and two-year-old daughter. As soon as Julie discovered I was filing for custody, she threw in the towel.

My attorney asked me why she gave in so quickly. My response was simple and candid, “Because everything I told you was the truth.”

Six days after the divorce was final, Julie and Christopher married — she has since walked out on him at least once with a new man already lined up.

Five months after the divorce, my three-year old daughter, EK, whispered to me that she and Christopher play doctor together on her mom’s weekends.

I called the police the next morning, and we set up a meeting for both my kids with the state’s child protection services. The deputy confirmed he would be there, too.

In hearing that, I made one request of the officer, “Would you please be in plain clothes?”

His attitude changed immediately, and he answered with a very defensive: “Why?!”

“Because if they feel more comfortable, I think they’ll speak more openly with you.”

“I’ll see what I can do,”  he replied. I could tell he meant, “No.”

He arrived in his full blue uniform. After the interviews, he said he couldn’t do anything else since they didn’t say much. And, get this, he was the deputy in charge of child abuse issues.

So because of that one cop’s arrogance, I had to let my daughter visit her mom that weekend, tormented knowing that Christopher, who works with kids in a middle school, was going to play doctor with EK.

What I didn’t know when I filed the complaint in the summer of 1995, was that I had a recording of Christopher asking my daughter to play doctor. All I was able to report in 1995 was that EK had whispered it to me. I had a lot of audio tapes, but since we didn’t go to trial, I just never listened to them all.

While preparing another defense from another law suit filed by Julie in 2006, I discovered the recording. Julie filed a completely bogus law suit against me because she discovered I knew much more about her background and activities than she thought I knew.

So, because of that paranoia-driven fear of being exposed, Julie immediately went into a sociopath’s “offensive-revenge” in which she completely perjured herself in a court-filed complaint, and to summarize this for now, she kidnapped my daughter. I believe kidnap means to illegally take a child (i.e., any aged human), and that’s what she did — with the court’s blessing. There’s too much to get into it here, but I will go into detail in the future. So, yes, a sociopath can manipulate the courts, too.

So, this is part of the phone call from 1995, that I found in 2006. No “authorities” ever heard this recording (not that it would have made any difference).

Regarding the sound quality: there may have been a recording problem (e.g., weak battery, etc.) … but, yes, that is very close to Christopher’s regular voice. My daughter sounds just as I remember.

When my son attended Rising Starr Middle School where Christopher is the librarian, he told me that Christopher had a deeper voice at school than at home. Hmm, now why would someone like Christopher want a job that kept him around children?

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Updated & Revised: 18 Apr 2010

Mom was pregnant again. If my folks didn’t have a boy, that would put an end to any future generations of our family branch. In that vein, Marcia was probably a disappointment of sorts, not being a boy, which contributed to Kathy maintaining dad’s favor after Marcia was born.

It’s a Boy.

Namesake, even. Photos of me being held by every distant relative, many whom had not appeared in any previous family photos, and virtually no sign of Kathy in any of those early photos.

Now there was a third child to fit into the family photos, but instead of dad just putting me on his other knee, he removed Kathy from “her” place of honor, setting her alone on the cold couch, and placed me on the spot that Kathy considered her own.

Kathy must have continually seen the pride in dad’s face, holding this new intruder that dad had so easily replaced her with. She lost her special perch and dad’s attention … nothing she experienced with Marcia’s arrival. Undoubtedly, she wanted her position back with dad, so the resentment she built was most assuredly focussed on her intruder, and how she would need to dethrone him.

Kathy must have felt deeply rejected and hurt, and apparently, no one noticed. Even in this photo, Marcia is very relaxed, I’m having a great time, but look closely at the stress in Kathy’s little hands. Since some of my earliest memories include unprovoked hostility from Kathy, I really wonder when it actually began. As young and innocent as I was, I had already become a target.

A rejection that so obsessed Kathy, she never let it go.

By the time I got a little older, and began storing my own memories, I have no recollection, whatsoever, of ever seeing that pride in my dad’s face in real life. Never. It was only captured in photos when I was very young. What could have changed in a child between the ages of two and five?

All my memories of him include a face with anger, disappointment, or frustration. Never once in my childhood did my dad ever tell me he loved me, nor did he ever hug me. But I watched as he often hugged my sisters and told them he loved them … obviously, I didn’t live up. I do not believe anyone could have been younger than I was, when I was set-up for failure.

Attack avoidance.

Memories of my childhood are filled with my abusive, alcoholic father spanking me, and only me, when I was young, then turning to hitting me as I got older. My mom would place herself between us to let me get away. Then I’d hear dad yelling at mom for “interfering.” My oldest sister, Kathy, was violently hostile to me, and me alone. It was obvious to me that they hated me, but since it was what I was used to, I simply accepted it. What mattered was staying safe.

I was spanked often, even though he didn’t need much of a reason to spank me. I don’t recall my sister, Kathy, or my brother, Alan, ever being spank. There was the bare hand spank (usually avoided since it would hurt his hand), the belt, the wood paddle, the broom stick, and whatever else was within reach.

Witnessing a public persona.

When we were young, we always went to church services together on Sunday. Not that I knew what I was witnessing back then, but that was when I first experienced my dad’s public persona. He could be yelling at us in the car one minute, but as soon as we pulled into the parking lot, he’d smile and wave. I’d watch him walk up to his buddies, and I wondered how he could change so quickly.

He had just been swinging into the back-seat and hitting us in the car, and now he’s yucking it up with his church pals. He belonged to the mens’ club, volunteered his company’s services to the church, and always greeted everyone with skilled showmanship. He should have sold cars.

During summers, when I would go to dad’s office with him, I realized he was a completely different person to his employees as well, and if they were around, he’d treat me with a modicum of respect, too. He treated his employees so well, that I remember wishing I only worked for him. But once we got in the car to go home, he was able to remove his persona, and remind me what he was really made of. He would open-up on me for something I said, something I did, but no matter what day it was, there would always be something.

Having it backwards all these years.

Living during those times, I always felt that first and foremost, it was dad who hated me, and since Kathy was dad’s favorite, she hated me, too. And knowing she would not get in trouble, she also contributed her own hostility. At least, that’s what I believed until recently … amazing how a series of current events can correct history.

In some ways, dad’s and Kathy’s abuse was very similar, but not in every way. They both abused me physically and emotionally, such as being continually called “stupid” and “will never amount to anything” — funny though, but it was Kathy who never amounted to anything. She’s never kept a job. But one way they differed was in their physical approach: dad wanted to hurt me, but Kathy wanted to injure me. There’s a huge difference.

Dad was physically abusive to me when he drank, and although he drank everyday, he didn’t begin drinking until 5pm. A tall tumbler filled with vodka on ice is what he’d call one drink. He never had just one, though. So I did my best to stay away during that period.

When push came to shove, mom stood tall.

Once, when I was 16 or 17, I walked into the house to find dad waiting for me with closed fists. Luckily he was a terrible aim when he was drunk, but he just kept coming. Mom came in, yelling at dad to stop, but he wasn’t listening. Mom became almost hysterical, and headed to the other side of the house. Minutes later, Kathy ran in, announcing that mom had called the cops. Dad immediately stop and left the room, but Kathy continued looking at me, and said, “If I were you, I’d get out of here.” Her comment made me believe that I was in big trouble … probably what she was hoping for.

I did leave on foot, just at dusk. Sometime after dark, as I was walking through an unlit field, I was suddenly hit with a spot light, and then a second … I simply came to a stop, and waited. I heard footsteps coming towards me from two directions. The first officer simply asked if I was Larry … to which I replied, “Yes.” He then asked if I’d come with him, and I agreed. We walked backed to his car, he opened his front passenger door for me, and drove me back to our house. In addition to the car I was arriving in, there were three patrol cars parked in front. The word “serious” probably never had a greater meaning. Once inside, a detective introduced himself and asked me what happened.

As I’ve always been, I opened-up with complete candor. After no more then five or ten minutes, he got up, and asked me to wait there until he returned. He headed to the other side of the house, where my dad evidently was. Minutes later, he reappeared, and said, “If this ever happens again, please call me” — and with that, he handed me his business card. I recall being shocked, with my head spinning … I was led to believe kids would usually take the fall if it involved parents. But instead, it was the first time an authority figure revealed to me that my dad was in the wrong.

Mom did an extremely brave thing for which she probably paid for. The cops didn’t arrest dad, as I had no injuries. But he never attempted to hit me again.

Sibling brutality.

Kathy, though, had no time constraints. Every chance she got, I was in her sights. And she was brutal. She wouldn’t just scratch, but she’d attempt to create canals … deep bloody gouges. I always had to be aware of her legs, too, as they were her weapons of choice. As soon as I saw one leg swing back, I had very little time to twist and ruin her targeting. Instead of hitting her desired targets, I’d take the kick in my upper thigh. An impact with such force that it would result in a black and blue bruise the size of a baseball. She always tried … she never succeeded.

I was also keenly aware that whenever Kathy brought home a friend, and introduced them to the family, her friends would greet my siblings quite differently than me. They would warmly acknowledge Marcia and Alan, but with me, they’d rarely make eye-contact and maybe mumbled a “hi.” Though I was already a victim of it, it would still be many years before I knew the term “character assassination.” The introduction I clearly remember was when Kathy introduced us to her future husband, Marlin. After seeing how warmly he greeted the others, I felt I had leprosy when he greeted me.

Kathy answered only to dad … not to mom.

I also witnessed Kathy physically brutalizing mom. It was during one of Kathy’s arguments with mom, one which turned violent, that I first felt Kathy’s capability of true evil, cold-blooded hostility.

I was about 10. After just arriving home on my bicycle, I heard yelling between Kathy and mom on the opposite side of the house. I arrived to see mom literally flying backwards across the hallway, slamming into the closet, her spine hitting the doorknob, screaming-out, then dropping to the floor crying, obviously in intense pain. Mom saw me when she first looked up from the floor, as I approached to help her. When I got to mom was when I was first able to see Kathy’s closed bedroom door.

Kathy never opened her door to see if mom needed help. I remember feeling a very eerie chill that, behind that door, Kathy was smiling. And because she never opened the door, Kathy never knew there had been an witness. There was no one else in the house.

Out on my own.

Within a month after graduating high school, I moved out. The abusive relationship I had with dad evolved into no relationship. Kathy had achieved her long-term objective of having dad to herself. Kathy and Marlin had married and moved to Alaska. During my 20s, there would be periods of 2-3 years of no contact with dad. Mom and I were very close, and I had a relationship with her like no one else in the family.

Dad would not let mom have a private conversation with me, so we’d have to wait until dad would be out doing errands. Then we’d talk and laugh for 1-2 hours sometimes, until mom would say, “Oh, I hear the garage door opening … your dad’s home.”

Right when I’d hear him walk into the house, mom would say, “It’s Larry, he just called.”

Mom was such a funny lady, yet I don’t believe anyone in the family, but I, was aware of it. Mom would never speak openly to me unless she was alone, and as time went on, I realized that meant not only dad, but no one else in the family could be present.

Of course, now that makes more sense than ever. Dad brought the “bad gene” into the family. Dad, as well as all three of my siblings exhibit sociopathic characteristics. I’ve caught all of them lying, and I believe they’ll lie to be safe.

For some reason, I was spared the effects of the bad gene. I assume I was the skipped generation. That also meant I was closest to mom than any of the others, but other than in mom’s eyes, I was the borne outcast.

Time for change

At about the age of 30, after all those years of emotional and physical abuse, which led to my own fairly-low self-esteem, I met a very attractive woman who virtually fell for me. She treated me differently than anyone else ever had, which in turn had a very positive effect on my own well-being.

In just less than a year, driven by Julie’s desire to establish a solid future together, we were married. And with that, I began the next chapter of my life, with the most psychotic sociopath I would ever know. Bipolar, borderline schizophrenic, and dangerously vengeful — all verified when I found her psychological evaluation, twelve years later.

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He’s a cheat and a liar, a CPA with the government, and he was executor of my parents’ Trust. He kept me out of the loop entirely. He never provided me with any of the legal documents required in the trust, and knew because of my health, it would be impossible for me to travel cross country to deal with it.

Phone Etiquette — Trust Legalities

The following call was regarding my parents’ Trust. Just prior to the August 2007 phone call, he had told me that he would no longer communicate via email with me because he knew I was using it just to keep records. Therefore, if I wanted to communicate with him, I’d need to call him.

At that point, all communication stopped since Alan never picked-up, or returned any calls. After more than a week of no communication, I called every hour on that following Sunday until his wife answered at 10PM their time.
 

I find his remark interesting that I should have received something by now, but he’d like to confirm my address because he’s got something else to send. Wouldn’t it have been better to check before sending the first document?

Some background regarding the August 2007 call — My brother, Alan, was the executor of my parents’ Trust. He acted as if being executor meant everything was his to dole out as he pleased. And that’s what he apparently did. He even told me once that if I pissed him off, I wouldn’t get anything. He kept me completely out of the loop, as I received nothing more than a copy of the Trust after ten days of asking.

About a week or two before this call, Alan told me he would no longer reply to my emails, and that he would only communicate with me via phone. At that point, all communication ceased. This call was answered at 10pm Pacific time (1am my time). It was a Sunday, and I had been calling his number all every hour since 8am that morning. I sound surprised when Karen answers because I was. The sound of the fast rewinding tape is there because I was on hold for over a minute, and I cut out the dead time.

At the end of the call, when I referred to “do this right” I was referring to the Trust, and how I was not getting anything to keep me updated as I was legally supposed to. A good example of his arrogance, his grandiose sense of self-worth when he got angry and hung up on me because I told him he was not doing it right.

One of the most humbling, unexpected, and special moments in my life was when you asked me to be your best man. I remember I had feelings of family that I never had before. From out of nowhere, I saw us raising families, sharing times together … just nothing I could have even imagined the day before.

Everything seemed to be going great until you missed your scheduled arrival time. No one knew where you were. No one knew who to call. People were thinking the worst. A lot of time passed. Then I remember looking up and there you were, really late, and looking nothing like the last time I saw you, just the day before. It seemed as if there was a huge weight on you, and I needed to get you away from everyone as fast as I could. I got you into your dressing room, thinking things would get much better, but they didn’t.

I only remember you saying two words to me, the same two words over and over again: “Phuque off!”  That’s all you kept saying. And as I continued to lighten that weight on you, not even knowing what had caused it, I was dreading what my next responsibility would be as best man: getting up in front of the congregation and telling them there’s been a change of plans … sorry, but we need to cancel todays event.

Between you getting up to put on your tux, and all of us climbing into the limo, I have no memory of it. Nothing. I do not remember the ceremony. I do not remember standing at the alter. I remember everything before, and everything after.

And besides saving your wedding, I became the star of your wedding video. Why? Because I was watching those video guys walking all around the room, and how they were constantly being refused by those they approached. People shaking their heads “no” and looking down. What I had dreamt of being the beginning of new lives, left me with a huge hole in my heart.

Weeks, then months past, and never once did you ever even allude to it. And you never thanked me, nor did you apologize.

A few years later, you called and said you’d like to visit us on the East coast. Once again, I was so touched. I felt very far away from family, and you were going to come out of your way, with Karen, to spend some time with us. As they day got closer, I got more excited, and I heard it in your voice, too.

Then I remember seeing you and Karen walking up the driveway, Karen smiling, you just staring at me with that weight on you. You brought that weight into my home, then refused to visit. Julie, Karen and I were all talking about how we were going to get you to come down, and when the vote was tabulated, it would be me going up. Little did I know how that weight was going to detonate.

You looked so hostile when you began yelling, I left the room to avoid any physical confrontation. I was devastated. I went straight down to Karen, who was now standing, and I said, “Karen, is there anything you can do?” I can still see her face when she answered, “No, I can’t do anything when he gets like this.”

“GETS?!” Karen just nodded her head. Before long, you left, and I was sitting alone, once again my heart ripped out. And just like the previous event, you acted as if it never happened. No remorse, no compassion, no reason, no apology.

And lastly, when Kathy began her attack on me in 2003, it wasn’t long before you just joined in.

Now, what did I ever do to you?  Ever?  That is a serious question.
 

TO: Larry
FR: Alan
Fri, Apr 9, 2010 at 20:02 (nine minutes later)

Are you going to be able to call?
 

Yes, he uses red.
 

TO: Alan
FR: Larry
Sun, Apr 11, 2010 at 06:04

I guess it was a trick question since I already knew the answer: I’ve never done anything to hurt you, and even without your apologies, I let your actions slide. Of course, letting them slide did not erase the pain.

How do you explain your actions towards me? For you, I believe that would be difficult to answer, though I’ve drawn my own conclusions, which have passed every litmus test applied. Someday, you may realize the truth, and how you were so gullible to believe the lies of others. One hundred people repeating the same lie is still a lie — especially when they originate from one or two people, the same two people who have a reason to destroy me. I wonder if you’ll even feel remorse when the truth comes out. It will most likely be after I’m gone, if it does.

Since you have information to share with me, then please send it to me. If I need to get back to you with information, I’ll email it back. Are you so oblivious to what you’ve done to me, that you don’t understand why I have no desire to speak with you?
 

TO: Larry
FR: Alan
Sun, Apr 11, 2010 at 11:01

I will be waiting for your call.
 

TO: Alan
FR: Larry
Sun, Apr 11, 2010 at 11:04

You haven’t changed a bit. If you have official business with me, it needs to be in writing.
 

TO: Larry
FR: Alan
Sun, Apr 11, 2010 at 12:12

I will be waiting for your call.
 

TO: Alan
FR: Larry
Sun, Apr 11, 2010 at 12:39

Hey, while you’re waiting, why not hold your breath? You must really just want to shoot the breeze with me … I’m touched.

You lack a sense of guilt or remorse for any harm you may have caused others, instead rationalizing your behavior, blaming someone else, or denying it outright. You also lack empathy towards others in general, resulting in tactlessness, insensitivity, and contemptuousness. All of this belies your tendency to make a good, likable first impression. You have a superficial charm about you, enabled by a willingness to say anything without concern for accuracy or truth.

In General …
• Glibness
• Grandiose sense of self-worth
• Pathological lying
• Cunning/manipulative
• Lack of remorse or guilt
• Emotionally shallow
• Superficial charm
• Callous
• Lack of empathy
• Failure to accept responsibility for your own actions
  and, of course, heavy in denial about all the above.

There’s no reason for you to speak with me, so get over it.  It’s just your grandiose sense of self-worth.

 
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