This is one man’s very real story — my nightmare — beginning with my earliest memories, being physically and verbally abused by my alcoholic father, as well as his favorite and first child, my violently hostile, oldest sister, Kathy. Another older sister, Marcia, began her own psychological abuse against me sometime in her mid-to-late teens.

Hers were very calmly delivered, pure psychological degradation. She was very narcissistic, such as entering beauty pageants, taking modeling classes, and becoming a varsity song girl (i.e., cheer leader) in high school. She craved the attention, and would walk past me on campus as if we were complete strangers — no, actually she’d probably smile to a complete stranger.

Sometime between his teens and 20s, my younger brother, Alan, emerged with his own narcissistic and violent, sociopathic characteristics. None of us were close growing up. The only two siblings who maintained an ongoing relationship into adulthood were Kathy, the oldest, and Alan, the youngest. They also shared the similar violent and hostile temperaments, the charming personas, and the complete lack of compassion, morality, integrity and of course, any semblance of honesty. continue reading…

 
If you suspect you are targeted by a sociopath, you MUST be proactive in gathering strong evidence to defend yourself … do not think you can gather it later. A sociopath’s skill is accumulating followers, blind followers, and their most devoted, those I’ve labeled disciples. When it comes time to prove your innocence, even having the best evidence will still prove a challenge to convince anyone already sold on your “guilt” — whatever they were made to believe.

Therefore, the most important asset a victim can have is an abundance of undeniable evidence … solid substantiation to support the truth. Your word against their’s has a foregone conclusion — you will lose. Virtually no one will believe your description of the sociopath’s activities, statements, or their real character, since that charming persona has already destroyed your character, made themselves look incapable of any such activity you claim, and likely made you out to be a dishonest jackass.

The sociopath will not lose

A sociopath’s goal is to protect their public persona — protect their real personality from being exposed — continue reading…

For three years before I was born, even with another sister between us, Kathy got all dad’s attention. Old family photos hold many secrets. Kathy was always in dad’s lap. Marcia was always in mom’s.

Mom was pregnant again. If my folks didn’t have a boy, that would put an end to any future generations of our family branch. In that vein, Marcia was probably a disappointment of sorts, not being a boy, which contributed to Kathy maintaining dad’s favor after Marcia was born.

It’s a Boy.

Namesake, even. Photos of me being held by every distant relative, many whom had not appeared in any previous family photos, and virtually no sign of Kathy in any of those early photos. continue reading…

Revised: 2011 Jan 18   (First published: 2010 Apr 11)
 
My brother Alan is a cheat, a liar, and the executor of my parents’ Trust … a very bad combination. Interestingly, he’s also a CPA and lead auditor with the government.

Regarding all issues with the Trust, he has kept me out of the loop entirely. Alan never provided me with any of the documents required by law, except for an emailed copy of the Trust itself, after 10-days of asking.

He emptied out my parents’ house of everything, telling me he gave all their belongings to charity … another lie, as he told me things he was in possession of. He said he never had an estate sale … a decision I don’t believe was his alone to make.

He also took my dad’s Cadillac telling me that dad gave it to him a year before he died. On more than one occasion, I asked for the VIN number though he refused to give it to me. Living on opposite coasts, along with other obstacles, he knew it would be difficult for me to challenge him.

April 2010

I received the following voice mail message from Alan regarding my parents’ Trust … a full three years after mom died (dad died the year before mom). I do not believe he and I had spoken since he hung-up on me in August 2007 (the next recording down). continue reading…

PART 5: When Plans Backfire

 
… con’t from Part 4

On the morning of Kathy’s and Marlin’s departure, Kathy told me that they would have a stop-over in Salt Lake City, and that if I needed to get in touch with her, just leave a message on her cell, and she’d check it when they landed.

I remember that hit me as odd, since that would be only two hours after their flight left, and I didn’t plan to speak with them for the week they’d be gone. While driving them to the airport, she said it again, so that time it raised a flag. I didn’t ask anything, but I wondered what she was expecting me to call about.

“Surprise … I lied.”

continue reading…

PART 4: Body English: Physical Reactions while Lying

 
… con’t from Part 3

It was now less than two weeks before my scheduled trip to Mesa. As I stated in part 3, this was to fulfill my week-long obligation to house-sit and kid-sit for Kathy and Marlin while they were out of town.

As I planned, after those first phone calls with Kathy, I did not mention anything relating to Julie or Kathy’s mystery denials of communication. During that month, my 10-year-old daughter returned from one of her mom-visitation-weekends, with a question …

“Dad, isn’t Aunt Kathy your sister?”

“Yes she is.”
continue reading…

PART 3: The One Small Lie and the Big Red Flag

 
… con’t from Part 2

My son, David, had now been in Arizona for a few days. Kathy and I had been on the phone regularly. By the end of the week, though, the number of our calls decreased substantially. It was during one of those, I remembered that I needed to share the information concerning Julie.

Since Kathy had no idea that I was aware of their communication, it was only natural for me to begin with a question …

“… oh, and before I forget: Have you been in touch with Julie?“

“No.”

RED FLAG: That was not the correct answer.

As simple as it was, I thought I confused her. So, I rephrased it …

“I’m sorry, let me try that one again: Have you been communicating with Julie, you know, by email or by phone?”

“No, I don’t even remember the last time we spoke.”

Except I knew with 100% certainty that Julie and Kathy spoke the previous weekend. At that point, I dropped it, as if it were no big deal.

But, it was a big deal.
continue reading…

PART 2: How I almost missed a Red Flag.

 
… con’t from Part 1

Five days had passed since I pulled my son David out of school. Due to the school’s inability, or more precisely, unwillingness to recognize their student-on-student harassment problem, I was forced to tackle it myself, at least as for my son. Once again, though, it seemed like the bad guys had scored another victory … but they had accomplices: the school administration.

By Sunday morning, my sketchy plan was to file a formal complaint with the Board of Education, talk to the police, and if need be, an attorney. I’d complete the details by day’s end.

An unexpected call from Kathy

Shortly after noon, the phone rang. It was a call from my sister, Kathy.

I recall she sounded upbeat, saying we hadn’t spoken in a while, and she just wanted to chat and see how we were doing. It was not something she did often, but just occasionally — maybe once every year or two. Even though distracted with the issues I was facing, I began sharing information about us as a family in general.

I recall the very next thing she asked was how the kids were doing. Although I did not want to share much detail about my David’s situation, I began with talking about how my daughter Emily was doing. Eventually, I segued to my son, saying …
continue reading…

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Synopsis :: The most common question seems to be: “How do I identify a sociopath?”  I believe it’s the wrong question.

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Out of every 100 people, approximately 90 have at least one sociopath in their circle of friends. Those remaining 10 people are the sociopaths. Ballpark.

Estimates vary anywhere from 4% to 12% of those waiting in line with us at the grocery store are sociopaths. These personality disorders, categorized as sociopathic (or psychopathic), are very misunderstood by the public, especially in accepting the fact that they are extremely prevalent and dangerous. And that “danger” does not usually refer to physical violence.

I believe the first matter to deal with is to shed the denial. Of course, that’s very difficult to convince people of the reality … and for some, it’s virtually impossible. What is equally as prevalent and dangerous, as the condition itself, is the rampant denial. Those in denial will usually deny they’re in denial, too.

I used to get baffled as to why otherwise intelligent people would allow themselves to be controlled and manipulated. Intelligence actually has little to do with it. Psychopaths go after our emotions, are very shrewd and cunning, and are playing us right from the beginning. When they’re done, we believe we met one of the nicest people we know. It will be very difficult if we stay on the emotional level to ever see the truth.

Those who allow themselves to be manipulated are not only shallow, but are a big part of the problem. A sociopath’s power only grows with more blind followers, people I call “disciples.” My theory is that only a small minority of the population are true critical thinkers, though the majority would say they are.

Most psychopaths are never diagnosed, though, and that’s for one very simple reason: they do not want to be diagnosed. Most of the clinically-diagnosed psychopaths were already incarcerated and went through the clinical testing due to a court order. There is no blood-test-type diagnostic procedure providing a positive or negative result. The testing is quite complex.

“How do I identify a sociopath?”

That’s the most common question, and I believe, it’s the wrong question. continue reading…

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Synopsis :: What’s the first image that comes to mind when you think of a sociopath? Is it a crazed, demented, serial murderer? Or, is it that special person in your office who everyone likes, always seems happy, willing to help others, and generally, just a real charming individual?

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Yes, sociopaths are all the same in one aspect: each one is human (or resembles a human). There are no known canines.

But what about everything else? Isn’t it true that most, if not all, sociopaths are violent maniacs, serial killers … just completely insane?

Let’s evaluate this and determine the truth. If all sociopaths are the same, then it becomes a black-and-white issue. To avoid distraction, let’s take it to a very basic level using dots. A black dot and a white dot.

Which color dot is a sociopath?

Both black dots and white dots have a lot in common, though some people think they’re quite opposite [I don't see that].
continue reading…