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Synopsis :: The most common question seems to be: “How do I identify a sociopath?”  I believe it’s the wrong question.

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Out of every 100 people, approximately 90 have at least one sociopath in their circle of friends. Those remaining 10 people are the sociopaths. Ballpark.

Estimates vary anywhere from 4% to 12% of those waiting in line with us at the grocery store are sociopaths. These personality disorders, categorized as sociopathic (or psychopathic), are very misunderstood by the public, especially in accepting the fact that they are extremely prevalent and dangerous. And that “danger” does not usually refer to physical violence.

I believe the first matter to deal with is to shed the denial. Of course, that’s very difficult to convince people of the reality … and for some, it’s virtually impossible. What is equally as prevalent and dangerous, as the condition itself, is the rampant denial. Those in denial will usually deny they’re in denial, too.

I used to get baffled as to why otherwise intelligent people would allow themselves to be controlled and manipulated. Intelligence actually has little to do with it. Psychopaths go after our emotions, are very shrewd and cunning, and are playing us right from the beginning. When they’re done, we believe we met one of the nicest people we know. It will be very difficult if we stay on the emotional level to ever see the truth.

Those who allow themselves to be manipulated are not only shallow, but are a big part of the problem. A sociopath’s power only grows with more blind followers, people I call “disciples.” My theory is that only a small minority of the population are true critical thinkers, though the majority would say they are.

Most psychopaths are never diagnosed, though, and that’s for one very simple reason: they do not want to be diagnosed. Most of the clinically-diagnosed psychopaths were already incarcerated and went through the clinical testing due to a court order. There is no blood-test-type diagnostic procedure providing a positive or negative result. The testing is quite complex.

“How do I identify a sociopath?”

That’s the most common question, and I believe, it’s the wrong question. continue reading…

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Synopsis :: What’s the first image that comes to mind when you think of a sociopath? Is it a crazed, demented, serial murderer? Or, is it that special person in your office who everyone likes, always seems happy, willing to help others, and generally, just a real charming individual?

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Yes, sociopaths are all the same in one aspect: each one is human (or resembles a human). There are no known canines.

But what about everything else? Isn’t it true that most, if not all, sociopaths are violent maniacs, serial killers … just completely insane?

Let’s evaluate this and determine the truth. If all sociopaths are the same, then it becomes a black-and-white issue. To avoid distraction, let’s take it to a very basic level using dots. A black dot and a white dot.

Which color dot is a sociopath?

Both black dots and white dots have a lot in common, though some people think they’re quite opposite [I don't see that].
continue reading…

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The difference between a Psychopath and Sociopath

First, some historical data:

Psychopath … This disorder was first defined and named ~1800 (in France, I believe) and has had its definition revised many times since.

Sociopath … A category of social disorders first defined 1980~1983, and has also been further defined.

One can also find that the term “psychopath” is no longer in use, and was replaced by “sociopath.”

On the other hand, “psychopath” can still be found in use by other reputable sources. So, if and when (i.e., until) a clear delineation is fully adopted, the following seems to be the generally-accepted difference …

A psychopath will use violence — even murder — if they consider it necessary to protect their persona, or simply to fulfill that part of their dementia.

A sociopath would not be driven to physical violence. Technically, though, I consider there to be little-to-no difference between the two, other than time.

A psychopath would have likely been defined as a sociopath before being caught for heinous acts. A sociopath, I believe, could well be driven to hostility based on what they are willing to risk if their activities bordered on becoming public.

Therefore, extreme physical violence clearly separates the two. But, they have much more in common, than in difference.
continue reading…

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Sharon (not her real name), 44, is a widow with two kids. Her husband died three months before their second child was born.

When we met, Sharon had been dating Brian for about 6-7 years. Sharon’s kids were in middle school. Brian had been planning a three-day weekend with his buddies to spend in Savannah — about a three hour drive.

On his way out of town Thursday night, Brian swung by Sharon’s and told her he’d stop by her place Sunday evening when they returned. And he did.

While Brian, Sharon and her kids ate dinner, he told them all about the drive down, the flat tire, the hotels, where and what they ate, and all their activities. As she told me, he talked for almost 90 minutes, right through dinner and dessert.

It got late, so he helped put the kids to bed, and a while later, he left. Just as Sharon was turning out all the lights, she spotted Brian’s camera. When he came in that evening, he said he had just a few empty frames on the roll, so he wanted to use them by taking photos of the kids. continue reading…

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At least in my case, I never set out to identify a sociopath. For me, it was usually just a naïve accident, being somewhere to either see or hear something, or innocently ask about something I saw or heard.

I’ve stepped in it twice … with almost ten years in-between.  Frankly, I didn’t step in it the second time, I fell into it.

Don’t believe anyone who says that it’s easy to identify a sociopath. If that were true, it would be equally easy, if not easier, to misidentify a sociopath.

Example: you know someone you suspect is a sociopath because you’ve witnessed (not hearsay) the person displaying sociopathic traits. Suspecting is easy. Identifying likely means you’ve become a victim. Other than that, if you suspect, how do you prove?

If you become suspicious of someone as being a sociopath, you’ve got a couple choices, but with either one, you must be careful and stay observant. How do you become suspicious in the first place? The red flag. Something hits you as just not right. And it matters not how long you’ve known that person, as it could be someone you’ve known all your life.

I know that, for sure. I had just turned 50 when I discovered and confirmed that my oldest sister, Kathy, is a sociopath. Since then, she has done so much damage to my character that it could never be undone.  continue reading…

No, the title is “Not” in error. In the U.S., it is estimated that about 5% to 10% of the general population are sociopaths … that’s 1-2 outwardly-charming people out of every 20 are not really charming at all.

You know 20 people, don’t you?

That’s at least ten million sociopaths in the US. I’ve come to understand — unfortunately, on a very personal level — why they’re considered to be some of the most dangerous people around.

Dr. Stout does a great job of describing someone you know — a typical sociopath. Chances are, there is at least one in your life … at least one. continue reading…