Question from reader “Jenna”

I have tipped off my sociopath that I’m aware of what he is, as well as past crimes. He has already subjected me to unthinkable violations. How can I protect myself now?

It’s difficult for me to come up with any specific recommendation as I know not what your relationship was or is with this man … partner, co-worker, family member, supervisor, etc., and for how long. If his past crimes could mean incarceration, your safety could be at risk.

But generally speaking, the number one suggestion would be to move far away with no forwarding information. If he just found out, as you said, your problems are just beginning. He likely believes you are a threat to exposing him, and will always be. Being far away diminishes that threat to some level. continue reading…

A Reader’s Question …

Q: How can I prove someone is a psychopath in court?

Generally speaking, you probably can’t. “Psychopath” (or sociopath) typically describes a person who has been diagnosed with one or more personality disorders, such as Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD or ASPD), Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), and others.

Since they are defined illnesses, most courts will only permit an expert in the field to testify, and since it is considered someone’s private medical information, it may not be allowed at all. The most common test is the PCL-R assessment, continue reading…

When looking at your sociopath, all you see is another person. What you will never see is that person’s history. Their history is like a hostility throttle. Depending on what they’ve gotten away with in the past determines how they will respond to an attempted exposure now.

---

Updated 15 July 2012
 
No matter who you are, how powerful you are, what profession you’re in, how smart you think you are, how many friends you think you have … no matter what you think you’ve got that no one else has, try to understand the risk is too high to expose, or take on a sociopath or psychopath.

Try to accept that your best chance of maintaining your quality of life is to forget it and move on. The odds are entirely against you.*

It’s what you don’t know.

This sociopath used you, and your innocent actions resulted in someone losing something (the who and what are not important here). It was by complete chance that you discovered the sham. The sociopath is currently unaware that you know.

You don’t want to see it happen to anyone else. From your good, honest upbringing, you want to expose this guy and make him pay for damages, so as to make sure he won’t do it again.

You believe in accountibility.

Very admirable.

Your sociopath first recognized his outwardly differences continue reading…

Updated 15 July 2012

Read this thoroughly. By the time you reach the end, you will hopefully realize that “avenge” is the worst thing you can do.  Your best option can be summed-up very briefly — leave town.

If anyone else encourages you to take on the sociopath, supporting you by saying you can do it — distance yourself from him or her, too.  Don’t argue, just distance. The risk you’d be incurring is far beyond whatever solace you think you’d gain.

You do not want to know how evil and vindictive a sociopath can get continue reading…

 
If you suspect you are targeted by a sociopath, you MUST be proactive in gathering strong evidence to defend yourself … do not think you can gather it later. A sociopath’s skill is accumulating followers, blind followers, and their most devoted, those I’ve labeled disciples. When it comes time to prove your innocence, even having the best evidence will still prove a challenge to convince anyone already sold on your “guilt” — whatever they were made to believe.

Therefore, the most important asset a victim can have is an abundance of undeniable evidence … solid substantiation to support the truth. Your word against their’s has a foregone conclusion — you will lose. Virtually no one will believe your description of the sociopath’s activities, statements, or their real character, since that charming persona has already destroyed your character, made themselves look incapable of any such activity you claim, and likely made you out to be a dishonest jackass.

The sociopath will not lose

A sociopath’s goal is to protect their public persona — protect their real personality from being exposed — continue reading…

For three years before I was born, even with another sister between us, Kathy got all dad’s attention. Old family photos hold many secrets. Kathy was always in dad’s lap. Marcia was always in mom’s.

Mom was pregnant again. If my folks didn’t have a boy, that would put an end to any future generations of our family branch. In that vein, Marcia was probably a disappointment of sorts, not being a boy, which contributed to Kathy maintaining dad’s favor after Marcia was born.

It’s a Boy.

Namesake, even. Photos of me being held by every distant relative, many whom had not appeared in any previous family photos, and virtually no sign of Kathy in any of those early photos. continue reading…

---

Synopsis :: The most common question seems to be: “How do I identify a sociopath?”  I believe it’s the wrong question.

---

 
Out of every 100 people, approximately 90 have at least one sociopath in their circle of friends. Those remaining 10 people are the sociopaths. Ballpark.

Estimates vary anywhere from 4% to 12% of those waiting in line with us at the grocery store are sociopaths. These personality disorders, categorized as sociopathic (or psychopathic), are very misunderstood by the public, especially in accepting the fact that they are extremely prevalent and dangerous. And that “danger” does not usually refer to physical violence.

I believe the first matter to deal with is to shed the denial. Of course, that’s very difficult to convince people of the reality … and for some, it’s virtually impossible. What is equally as prevalent and dangerous, as the condition itself, is the rampant denial. Those in denial will usually deny they’re in denial, too.

I used to get baffled as to why otherwise intelligent people would allow themselves to be controlled and manipulated. Intelligence actually has little to do with it. Psychopaths go after our emotions, are very shrewd and cunning, and are playing us right from the beginning. When they’re done, we believe we met one of the nicest people we know. It will be very difficult if we stay on the emotional level to ever see the truth.

Those who allow themselves to be manipulated are not only shallow, but are a big part of the problem. A sociopath’s power only grows with more blind followers, people I call “disciples.” My theory is that only a small minority of the population are true critical thinkers, though the majority would say they are.

Most psychopaths are never diagnosed, though, and that’s for one very simple reason: they do not want to be diagnosed. Most of the clinically-diagnosed psychopaths were already incarcerated and went through the clinical testing due to a court order. There is no blood-test-type diagnostic procedure providing a positive or negative result. The testing is quite complex.

“How do I identify a sociopath?”

That’s the most common question, and I believe, it’s the wrong question. continue reading…