For what my mom and I went through, this describes one of the worst periods in my life.

This post was originally an email written to a close friend, way back in May 2006. My dad had died almost four months earlier. It describes the events leading up to and after my mom was kidnapped by my sister.

It was all maliciously-planned, and deceptively-executed. The only two people who were deceived were my mom and me, which makes me believe that the others all had something to gain from this.

Mom and I were made to believe that she would only stay with my sister, Kathy, for no more than a month while we decided what was best for her future. continue reading…

UPDATED: 2011 Jun 20

2010 Jul 13

I just received a very unexpected note from Christopher — the old kind of note: in an envelope with a stamp. For those not familiar, Christopher is the guy that my soon-to-be ex-wife Julie was having an affair with, then married, when she left me and our two kids in 1995. I was granted full physical and legal custody. Within five years, they added three more messed-up kids to the planet.

That’s not what he was apologizing for …

Reading this letter immediately reminded me of a statement Christopher made back during the divorce. Now, 15 years later, Christopher’s letter completely contradicts his previous recorded comment … or does he apologize for it?  continue reading…

Google search: “my best friend is a sociopath”

In one word, “wrong.”

The search string above is a fairly common search used with Google and Yahoo. Actually, it’s too common … it shows just how many people completely misunderstand the traits of a sociopath. Sociopaths do NOT have any real friends, they do not want friends, nor do they have the emotions that are required to be a friend. Instead of friends, a sociopath wants loyal followers, people who will do anything to help the sociopath achieve their own narcissistic goals. They gain followers by using an act — known as their “persona”— pretending to be an upright, trusting person, and a great friend. Their persona is nothing like their real personality. But they are quite believable.

Mutually Exclusive Terms

The terms “friend” and “sociopath” are mutually exclusive. What does that mean? It means you can have a real friend, and you may know a sociopath, but you cannot have a real friend who’s also a sociopath. What you can be is a loyal follower, or even a disciple to a sociopath, and as such, they will treat you as if you were a friend … but it is not sincere. As long as you provide some value to them, something they need, value as simple as companionship, they will keep you around. But once they tire of your companionship, you will be left with no doubt.  continue reading…

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Synopsis :: REVISED: 2010 JUL 26 — A sociopath may have many, many followers, but a disciple would belong to the sociopath’s most trusted inner-circle. A disciple is completely devoted and loyal, based on a combination of being shallow, gullible, needy, as well as ignorant. They are the ultimate groupies.

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Revised: 2011 Jan 18    (First published: 2010 Jun 7)
 
My week began with a brief call intended for my brother, Alan, but instead turned into a long call with his wife, Karen. I believe we spoke for close to two hours, something I don’t believe she and I had ever done before. I never did speak with Alan.

A couple days after that call, though, something hit me: an overwhelming intuition that Karen has been kept in the dark. I have no idea why that instinct took so long to arrive, but in my mind, it was unquestionable. There were parts of the conversation that I felt Karen should have been aware of, but she wasn’t. By the time the instinct arrived, I couldn’t even remember which parts they were. I only felt that darkness that surrounded her. continue reading…

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Synopsis :: The secret to a sociopath’s successful destruction of an innocent person’s good character is due to the abundance of the truly gullible and ignorant.  P.T. Barnum made a good living from them.

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Majority Rules … Universally-Accepted Decision Making.

Majority Rules have long been equated to fairness in determining the outcome that would most favor the multitude. On the surface, it would appear flawless in its ability to consistently satisfy those parameters.

But just below the surface, something is flawed. Ideally, individual votes should all be from individual thinkers. Critical thinkers. So if all the voters are truly individual, critical thinkers, each analyzing the candidates thoroughly and determining the best candidate the fill the actual need, then the Majority Rules will perform flawlessly. But that will never happen.

Instead of a country of leaders, we have a country of followers.

The Fact is, we are all headed in the Wrong Direction.

More and more, we are getting by with less individual thinking. How? [that was a pun] By accepting and allowing others to do our thinking for us. continue reading…

All names have been changed to protect my innocent ass.

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Multi-Tasking: The Psychiatrist as a Disciple.

When I first met Dr Esbe in 2006, I was immediately taken by his charisma. He seemed like someone who wasn’t a psychiatrist — easy going, charming, with a quick and easy-smile; so as far as shrinks go, he seemed relatively normal.

As a comparison, I’ve seen two other shrinks in my life — one would easily fit in the ADHD¹ category, while the other would probably feel at home in the OCD² group. But Dr Esbe seemed more like the LDA³ type to me.

Additionally, since I have no medical insurance, Dr Esbe agreed to take me on pro-bono. Because of that, I wanted to give something in return. Something of value. I knew it would make me feel much better about it, since I was not used to getting stuff for nothing. My botched surgery of a few years ealier has made me see life from vantage points I never imagined. continue reading…

 
If you suspect you are targeted by a sociopath, you MUST be proactive in gathering strong evidence to defend yourself … do not think you can gather it later. A sociopath’s skill is accumulating followers, blind followers, and their most devoted, those I’ve labeled disciples. When it comes time to prove your innocence, even having the best evidence will still prove a challenge to convince anyone already sold on your “guilt” — whatever they were made to believe.

Therefore, the most important asset a victim can have is an abundance of undeniable evidence … solid substantiation to support the truth. Your word against their’s has a foregone conclusion — you will lose. Virtually no one will believe your description of the sociopath’s activities, statements, or their real character, since that charming persona has already destroyed your character, made themselves look incapable of any such activity you claim, and likely made you out to be a dishonest jackass.

The sociopath will not lose

A sociopath’s goal is to protect their public persona — protect their real personality from being exposed — continue reading…

For three years before I was born, even with another sister between us, Kathy got all dad’s attention. Old family photos hold many secrets. Kathy was always in dad’s lap. Marcia was always in mom’s.

Mom was pregnant again. If my folks didn’t have a boy, that would put an end to any future generations of our family branch. In that vein, Marcia was probably a disappointment of sorts, not being a boy, which contributed to Kathy maintaining dad’s favor after Marcia was born.

It’s a Boy.

Namesake, even. Photos of me being held by every distant relative, many whom had not appeared in any previous family photos, and virtually no sign of Kathy in any of those early photos. continue reading…