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Synopsis :: If you’re looking for the “cheat-sheet” of rules to identify a sociopath, this article is a must-read.

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Google the phrase: “how to identify a sociopath” and you’ll find pages, upon millions of pages, with 1-10 lists, bullet-pointed lists, all written defining how to spot a sociopath, and what to do when facing one … sort of like the Web’s version of sound-bite plagiarism.

Sorry, but my subject line is intentionally misleading, and is so to make a very important point — don’t be suckered. The Web is filled with new sites featuring short “how-to” articles, written by a new breed of amateur writers looking for their 15-minutes of fame, and to make a buck.

Non-jounalists, non-experts, and non-experienced individuals writing about very serious topics that they simply re-purpose from others like them … and it goes on and on.

More of these “public-reporting” Web sites are popping up all the time, allowing virtually anyone to write about topics without any sort of “check” on their sources or accuracy. If the Web has succeeded in spreading any character flaw, it’s got to be “gullibility.” Blind leading the blind? continue reading…

PART 5: When Plans Backfire

 
… con’t from Part 4

On the morning of Kathy’s and Marlin’s departure, Kathy told me that they would have a stop-over in Salt Lake City, and that if I needed to get in touch with her, just leave a message on her cell, and she’d check it when they landed.

I remember that hit me as odd, since that would be only two hours after their flight left, and I didn’t plan to speak with them for the week they’d be gone. While driving them to the airport, she said it again, so that time it raised a flag. I didn’t ask anything, but I wondered what she was expecting me to call about.

“Surprise … I lied.”

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PART 4: Body English: Physical Reactions while Lying

 
… con’t from Part 3

It was now less than two weeks before my scheduled trip to Mesa. As I stated in part 3, this was to fulfill my week-long obligation to house-sit and kid-sit for Kathy and Marlin while they were out of town.

As I planned, after those first phone calls with Kathy, I did not mention anything relating to Julie or Kathy’s mystery denials of communication. During that month, my 10-year-old daughter returned from one of her mom-visitation-weekends, with a question …

“Dad, isn’t Aunt Kathy your sister?”

“Yes she is.”
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PART 3: The One Small Lie and the Big Red Flag

 
… con’t from Part 2

My son, David, had now been in Arizona for a few days. Kathy and I had been on the phone regularly. By the end of the week, though, the number of our calls decreased substantially. It was during one of those, I remembered that I needed to share the information concerning Julie.

Since Kathy had no idea that I was aware of their communication, it was only natural for me to begin with a question …

“… oh, and before I forget: Have you been in touch with Julie?“

“No.”

RED FLAG: That was not the correct answer.

As simple as it was, I thought I confused her. So, I rephrased it …

“I’m sorry, let me try that one again: Have you been communicating with Julie, you know, by email or by phone?”

“No, I don’t even remember the last time we spoke.”

Except I knew with 100% certainty that Julie and Kathy spoke the previous weekend. At that point, I dropped it, as if it were no big deal.

But, it was a big deal.
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PART 2: How I almost missed a Red Flag.

 
… con’t from Part 1

Five days had passed since I pulled my son David out of school. Due to the school’s inability, or more precisely, unwillingness to recognize their student-on-student harassment problem, I was forced to tackle it myself, at least as for my son. Once again, though, it seemed like the bad guys had scored another victory … but they had accomplices: the school administration.

By Sunday morning, my sketchy plan was to file a formal complaint with the Board of Education, talk to the police, and if need be, an attorney. I’d complete the details by day’s end.

An unexpected call from Kathy

Shortly after noon, the phone rang. It was a call from my sister, Kathy.

I recall she sounded upbeat, saying we hadn’t spoken in a while, and she just wanted to chat and see how we were doing. It was not something she did often, but just occasionally — maybe once every year or two. Even though distracted with the issues I was facing, I began sharing information about us as a family in general.

I recall the very next thing she asked was how the kids were doing. Although I did not want to share much detail about my David’s situation, I began with talking about how my daughter Emily was doing. Eventually, I segued to my son, saying …
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PART 1: Events Leading up to the First Red Flag.

 

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Synopsis :: This is the detailed story about how I discovered, at the age of 50, that my oldest sister is an evil psychopath. Even though she exhibited various traits over her entire life, it all came down to one little accident — the first red flag — and how I was determined to find where it led.

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From his pre-school years, my son David showed a strong knack for logic, intelligence and wit … well beyond his years. That was supported in his annual test scores, the national testing meant to compare students nationwide, by age and grade.

He consistently scored in the top 1% in both science and mathematics, and the top 10% is just about everything else. David had read more books by the time he hit middle school than I’ve read in my entire life. And in sixth grade, he was invited to attend our state university’s Saturday School for the Gifted. continue reading…

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Synopsis :: The most common question seems to be: “How do I identify a sociopath?”  I believe it’s the wrong question.

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Out of every 100 people, approximately 90 have at least one sociopath in their circle of friends. Those remaining 10 people are the sociopaths. Ballpark.

Estimates vary anywhere from 4% to 12% of those waiting in line with us at the grocery store are sociopaths. These personality disorders, categorized as sociopathic (or psychopathic), are very misunderstood by the public, especially in accepting the fact that they are extremely prevalent and dangerous. And that “danger” does not usually refer to physical violence.

I believe the first matter to deal with is to shed the denial. Of course, that’s very difficult to convince people of the reality … and for some, it’s virtually impossible. What is equally as prevalent and dangerous, as the condition itself, is the rampant denial. Those in denial will usually deny they’re in denial, too.

I used to get baffled as to why otherwise intelligent people would allow themselves to be controlled and manipulated. Intelligence actually has little to do with it. Psychopaths go after our emotions, are very shrewd and cunning, and are playing us right from the beginning. When they’re done, we believe we met one of the nicest people we know. It will be very difficult if we stay on the emotional level to ever see the truth.

Those who allow themselves to be manipulated are not only shallow, but are a big part of the problem. A sociopath’s power only grows with more blind followers, people I call “disciples.” My theory is that only a small minority of the population are true critical thinkers, though the majority would say they are.

Most psychopaths are never diagnosed, though, and that’s for one very simple reason: they do not want to be diagnosed. Most of the clinically-diagnosed psychopaths were already incarcerated and went through the clinical testing due to a court order. There is no blood-test-type diagnostic procedure providing a positive or negative result. The testing is quite complex.

“How do I identify a sociopath?”

That’s the most common question, and I believe, it’s the wrong question. continue reading…

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Synopsis :: What’s the first image that comes to mind when you think of a sociopath? Is it a crazed, demented, serial murderer? Or, is it that special person in your office who everyone likes, always seems happy, willing to help others, and generally, just a real charming individual?

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Yes, sociopaths are all the same in one aspect: each one is human (or resembles a human). There are no known canines.

But what about everything else? Isn’t it true that most, if not all, sociopaths are violent maniacs, serial killers … just completely insane?

Let’s evaluate this and determine the truth. If all sociopaths are the same, then it becomes a black-and-white issue. To avoid distraction, let’s take it to a very basic level using dots. A black dot and a white dot.

Which color dot is a sociopath?

Both black dots and white dots have a lot in common, though some people think they’re quite opposite [I don't see that].
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The difference between a Psychopath and Sociopath

First, some historical data:

Psychopath … This disorder was first defined and named ~1800 (in France, I believe) and has had its definition revised many times since.

Sociopath … A category of social disorders first defined 1980~1983, and has also been further defined.

One can also find that the term “psychopath” is no longer in use, and was replaced by “sociopath.”

On the other hand, “psychopath” can still be found in use by other reputable sources. So, if and when (i.e., until) a clear delineation is fully adopted, the following seems to be the generally-accepted difference …

A psychopath will use violence — even murder — if they consider it necessary to protect their persona, or simply to fulfill that part of their dementia.

A sociopath would not be driven to physical violence. Technically, though, I consider there to be little-to-no difference between the two, other than time.

A psychopath would have likely been defined as a sociopath before being caught for heinous acts. A sociopath, I believe, could well be driven to hostility based on what they are willing to risk if their activities bordered on becoming public.

Therefore, extreme physical violence clearly separates the two. But, they have much more in common, than in difference.
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First off, it depends what you mean by the word “spot” … to me, I use it in referring to a quick observation. Such as, “I spotted a deer just as it ran into the woods.” If your intended meaning of “spot” is similar, then NO … you’ll never “spot” a sociopath.

Q: How difficult can it be to identify a sociopath?

  A: Does taking 50-years give you any idea?

Yes, in 2003, I accidently overheard something that I thought was minor, but it was not minor to someone I’ve known my entire life. It led to the discovery that my oldest sister, Kathy, is an undeniable and very vengeful sociopath. I am writing a multi-part article, detailing how I happened to make the discovery, why it took so long, and the ramifications it’s had on my life … what you should do, and what you shouldn’t.

A true sociopath is highly skilled at what they do (i.e., manipulation and deception), as they have been working at it every single day of their life. Why? Because it is their life, the only life they know. And they know how to successfully achieve their goals, usually narcissistic, and that’s by drawing in and using others.
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