A massive toy factory at the North Pole, operated by Mr and Mrs Claus (she has a non-speaking role) and hundreds of tiny people forced into hard labor.

And for what? To build toys so as to fulfill the un-earned wishes of so many spoiled-rotten kids.

Will this never end?

Why are we bringing our children into this world with such a dichotomy? We lie to them about this Santa-character for years, ignore the real meaning of Christmas, and then wonder why they begin to lie.

Is Christmas for their benefit? Sure, they’ll get into it by the time they pass toddler status into pre-schoolers, but that’s also the precise time that initial parenting is so important: Laying a solid foundation, clearly differentiating right from wrong.

Just about then, we tell them that Santa’s not real after all. “We lied to you, kids, but don’t you start lying to us!”  They see us smile, yet they do not see anyone get in trouble for our major, deliberate deception played upon their feelings for years. Though during that same period, those kids had been warned often not to ever be dishonest … hey, what’s up with this?

Single Dadhood.

I raised my kids alone since they were just 4 and 2. My adversity to lying was passed on to them by both verbal requirements and by example. The three of us enjoyed a wonderful childhood together, continue reading…

Continued from Part 3 …

2001 Nov 11, Sun PM

Karan, the super lady who originally drove me to the hospital on the previous Wednesday, was there to pick me up and take me home. After the hour drive, I asked her to stop by the post office, so I could check my mail. When I returned to the car, and just about to get in, Karan screamed.

The back of my shirt and pants were saturated in blood, but when I had gotten out of the car, my back was dry. Apparently the pressure of leaning against the seat back was enough to contain the blood flow until I got up.

Karan immediately demanded to take me back up to the hospital, but I refused. The top surgeon said it was OK for me to go home, so I felt if we made the drive all the way back up, they’d just turn us around and send me home again. She reluctantly obliged and took me home. continue reading…

UPDATED: 2011 Jun 20

2010 Jul 13

I just received a very unexpected note from Christopher — the old kind of note: in an envelope with a stamp. For those not familiar, Christopher is the guy that my soon-to-be ex-wife Julie was having an affair with, then married, when she left me and our two kids in 1995. I was granted full physical and legal custody. Within five years, they added three more messed-up kids to the planet.

That’s not what he was apologizing for …

Reading this letter immediately reminded me of a statement Christopher made back during the divorce. Now, 15 years later, Christopher’s letter completely contradicts his previous recorded comment … or does he apologize for it?  continue reading…

When looking at your sociopath, all you see is another person. What you will never see is that person’s history. Their history is like a hostility throttle. Depending on what they’ve gotten away with in the past determines how they will respond to an attempted exposure now.

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No matter who you are, how powerful you are, what profession you’re in, how smart you think you are, how many friends you think you have … no matter what you think you’ve got that no one else has, try to understand the risk is too high to expose, or take on a sociopath or psychopath.

Try to accept that your best chance of maintaining your quality of life is to forget it and move on. The odds are entirely against you.*

It’s what you don’t know.

This sociopath used you, and your innocent actions resulted in someone losing something (the who and what are not important here). It was by complete chance that you discovered the sham. The sociopath is currently unaware that you know.

You don’t want to see it happen to anyone else. From your good, honest upbringing, you want to expose this guy and make him pay for damages, so as to make sure he won’t do it again.

You believe in accountibility.

Very admirable.

Your sociopath first recognized his outwardly differences continue reading…

 
“… What’s my best option?”
 
All you need is this one answer …
 
Read this thoroughly. By the time you reach the end, you will hopefully realize that “avenge” is the worst thing you can do … don’t even consider it.  Your best option can be summed-up very briefly — leave town.

If anyone else encourages you to take on the sociopath, supporting you by saying you can do it — distance yourself from him or her, too.  Don’t argue, just distance. The risk you’d be incurring is far beyond whatever solace you think you’d gain.   continue reading…

Google search: “my best friend is a sociopath”

In one word, “wrong.”

The search string above is a fairly common search used with Google and Yahoo. Actually, it’s too common … it shows just how many people completely misunderstand the traits of a sociopath. Sociopaths do NOT have any real friends, they do not want friends, nor do they have the emotions that are required to be a friend. Instead of friends, a sociopath wants loyal followers, people who will do anything to help the sociopath achieve their own narcissistic goals. They gain followers by using an act — known as their “persona”— pretending to be an upright, trusting person, and a great friend. Their persona is nothing like their real personality. But they are quite believable.

Mutually Exclusive Terms

The terms “friend” and “sociopath” are mutually exclusive. What does that mean? It means you can have a real friend, and you may know a sociopath, but you cannot have a real friend who’s also a sociopath. What you can be is a loyal follower, or even a disciple to a sociopath, and as such, they will treat you as if you were a friend … but it is not sincere. As long as you provide some value to them, something they need, value as simple as companionship, they will keep you around. But once they tire of your companionship, you will be left with no doubt.  continue reading…

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Synopsis :: REVISED: 2010 JUL 26 — A sociopath may have many, many followers, but a disciple would belong to the sociopath’s most trusted inner-circle. A disciple is completely devoted and loyal, based on a combination of being shallow, gullible, needy, as well as ignorant. They are the ultimate groupies.

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Revised: 2011 Jan 18    (First published: 2010 Jun 7)
 
My week began with a brief call intended for my brother, Alan, but instead turned into a long call with his wife, Karen. I believe we spoke for close to two hours, something I don’t believe she and I had ever done before. I never did speak with Alan.

A couple days after that call, though, something hit me: an overwhelming intuition that Karen has been kept in the dark. I have no idea why that instinct took so long to arrive, but in my mind, it was unquestionable. There were parts of the conversation that I felt Karen should have been aware of, but she wasn’t. By the time the instinct arrived, I couldn’t even remember which parts they were. I only felt that darkness that surrounded her. continue reading…

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Synopsis :: The secret to a sociopath’s successful destruction of an innocent person’s good character is due to the abundance of the truly gullible and ignorant.  P.T. Barnum made a good living from them.

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Majority Rules … Universally-Accepted Decision Making.

Majority Rules have long been equated to fairness in determining the outcome that would most favor the multitude. On the surface, it would appear flawless in its ability to consistently satisfy those parameters.

But just below the surface, something is flawed. Ideally, individual votes should all be from individual thinkers. Critical thinkers. So if all the voters are truly individual, critical thinkers, each analyzing the candidates thoroughly and determining the best candidate the fill the actual need, then the Majority Rules will perform flawlessly. But that will never happen.

Instead of a country of leaders, we have a country of followers.

The Fact is, we are all headed in the Wrong Direction.

More and more, we are getting by with less individual thinking. How? [that was a pun] By accepting and allowing others to do our thinking for us. continue reading…

Our Judicial system is crumbling. What would be the chance of it ever getting fixed? Let’s think about that. There are three branches of the Federal government: Executive, Legislative and Judicial.

• Which branch has the most power? Judicial.
• Which is over all three, including policing itself? Judicial.
• Potentially, where does the biggest problem lie? Judicial.

The Judicial branch is our system of courts. A courtroom is where the common man is likely going to get closest to one of the three branches of the federal government. The top court in the country, the Supreme Court, is potentially as political as the other two branches of the government. continue reading…

All names have been changed to protect my innocent ass.

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Multi-Tasking: The Psychiatrist as a Disciple.

When I first met Dr Esbe in 2006, I was immediately taken by his charisma. He seemed like someone who wasn’t a psychiatrist — easy going, charming, with a quick and easy-smile; so as far as shrinks go, he seemed relatively normal.

As a comparison, I’ve seen two other shrinks in my life — one would easily fit in the ADHD¹ category, while the other would probably feel at home in the OCD² group. But Dr Esbe seemed more like the LDA³ type to me.

Additionally, since I have no medical insurance, Dr Esbe agreed to take me on pro-bono. Because of that, I wanted to give something in return. Something of value. I knew it would make me feel much better about it, since I was not used to getting stuff for nothing. My botched surgery of a few years ealier has made me see life from vantage points I never imagined. continue reading…