This is one man’s very real story — my nightmare — beginning with my earliest memories, being physically and verbally abused by my alcoholic father, as well as his favorite and first child, my violently hostile, oldest sister, Kathy. Another older sister, Marcia, began her own psychological abuse against me sometime in her mid-to-late teens.

Hers were very calmly delivered, pure psychological degradation. She was very narcissistic, such as entering beauty pageants, taking modeling classes, and becoming a varsity song girl (i.e., cheer leader) in high school. She craved the attention, and would walk past me on campus as if we were complete strangers — no, actually she’d probably smile to a complete stranger.

Sometime between his teens and 20s, my younger brother, Alan, emerged with his own narcissistic and violent, sociopathic characteristics. None of us were close growing up. The only two siblings who maintained an ongoing relationship into adulthood were Kathy, the oldest, and Alan, the youngest. They also shared the similar violent and hostile temperaments, the charming personas, and the complete lack of compassion, morality, integrity and of course, any semblance of honesty. continue reading…

For three years before I was born, even with another sister between us, Kathy got all dad’s attention. Old family photos hold many secrets. Kathy was always in dad’s lap. Marcia was always in mom’s.

Mom was pregnant again. If my folks didn’t have a boy, that would put an end to any future generations of our family branch. In that vein, Marcia was probably a disappointment of sorts, not being a boy, which contributed to Kathy maintaining dad’s favor after Marcia was born.

It’s a Boy.

Namesake, even. Photos of me being held by every distant relative, many whom had not appeared in any previous family photos, and virtually no sign of Kathy in any of those early photos. continue reading…

The Accidental Discovery :: My Sibling is a Sociopath
PART 1: Events Leading up to the First Red Flag.

 

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Synopsis (full series) :: This is the detailed story about how I discovered, at the age of 50, that my oldest sister is a sociopath. Due to the story’s length, I broke this into multiple parts, but the time covered is actually a few weeks over the second quarter of 2003. Even though she exhibited signs of problems over her entire life, it all came down to one little accident — the first red flag — and how I was determined to find where it led.

Synopsis (part 1) :: Part #1 provides a brief background as to what led up to the first red flag. I raised my son and daughter as a solo parent since pre-school. Now in middle-school, my son (who I’ll refer to as DK for his privacy) had become the target of bullies, and with the school in denial about any bully problem, I decided to find an alternative for him on my own.

Target Audience :: Anyone interested in learning more about those with the personality disorders, commonly referred to as sociopaths. More specifically: those who are suspicious of someone they’ve known for a very long time, such as a member of the family. This may help identify the signs and to avoid making the mistakes I made — mistakes that led to my character being destroyed, and becoming a pariah.

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From his pre-school years, my son DK showed a strong knack for logic, intelligence and wit … well beyond his years. That was supported in his annual test scores, the national testing meant to compare students nationwide, by age and grade.

He consistently scored in the top 1% in both science and mathematics, and the top 10% is just about everything else. DK had read more books by the time he hit middle school than I’ve read in my entire life. And in sixth grade, he was invited to attend our state university’s Saturday School for the Gifted.

It was about the time he started middle school, when I noticed his friends were not coming around as they had. I casually asked on multiple occasions, but each time he avoided any real discussion about it, and I saw no reason to push it … at least not with him.

Considering his personality type, I suspected he had been targeted by bullies, and that was eventually confirmed.

After the school’s ongoing denials about the bully problem — except for one brave teacher — another incident occurred in March, 2003, that had been witnessed by a volunteer (parent) on lunch duty. It would be tough for them to continue to deny it.

The biggest shock was when school administers implied the fault was his (i.e., the victim), and he should get help. It was a Tuesday, and I told his counselor that I would be taking him out of school for at least the remainder of the week, and hopefully more, while he and I considered our options.

Next, Part 2 shows what a red flag looks like …

 

Each school day in the US, approximately 160,000 kids do not go to school for fear of being bullied. [Source: CDC]

Could a Teen Bully be a Young Sociopath in Training?

I know the life history of two sociopaths, one currently in her early-50s, and the other in her late-50s. In both cases, I believe it’s safe to say they were born with personality disorders. As young children and teens, they were already acting out unpolished characteristics of a sociopath, as it would still require experience for them to hone their narcissistic, manipulating and maliciously-deceptive skills.

Both of these individuals exhibited clear warning signs while they were still minors, even though each displayed them in very different ways. In neither case, did their behavior draw any intervention. So it may be safe to say that it would not necessarily be a simple process to identify young people with one of the sociopathic disorders.

Then again, do we have our eyes open?

THE BULLY SYNDROME  NOW PLAYING AT SCHOOLS EVERYWHERE

As I began looking into the problem of student harassment, a friend of mine gave me the name of a clinical psychologist, Dr. Bob, PhD [not his real name], who’s entire life’s work is focussed on school-aged individuals. He is the full-time, Lead Psychologist at the largest school district in the state (by enrollment), and also maintains a ongoing calendar on the lecture circuit.
continue reading…