Revised: 2011.3.12Does “bad-upbringing” create a sociopath?

Upbringing will not make a psychopath, nor prevent one.

What defines “bad-upbringing” anyway?  What defines “good-upbringing”?

Consider this: if “bad-upbringing” can create a psychopath, then “good-upbringing” should prevent one. The argument is flawed, since if one is true, so should be the other; if one is false, then they are both false.

I know as fact that even a strong, compassionate bond with your well-liked kids is no match for the bad gene. In most cases, continue reading…

PART 6: Revelations

 
… Continued from Part 5

David had 5 weeks of classes left in Arizona before he’d be coming home. During that period, the assaults on both David and me only continued.

The Surprise Call

David called me one afternoon and said he just got off the phone with his mom. “Mom told me she’s going to file for custody.”  In shock, but with my ever-cool demeanor, I replied, “Wow, I’m sorry, David. That’s got to be tough. Did you have any idea your mom was doing that?”

“No, but I told her not to do it, because I don’t want to move.”  I was surprised, but not nearly as I was impressed. He exhibited courage and candor well beyond his years. A 13 year old boy having to tell his mother he didn’t want to live with her, and doing it in the least offensive way he could. I commended him.

Within a week, while out driving with Emily, she broke the silence by saying, “Mom wants me to move in with her.”  Deja vu. Driving with her in the back seat prevented any eye-contact. I replied, “Well, what do you want to do?” continue reading…

A sociopath in the White House.

Many sociopaths are admired by a portion of the public. For example, someone in great power: George W. Bush. He took advantage of his power throughout his presidency and lied to everyone in the world.

Bush: “Just a one-finger victory salute.”

Bush’s lies are documented in a vast number of books, and journalistic articles, including some written by those who had once been his most loyal supporters. His own press secretary resigned continue reading…

Source: Wikipedia.org

Character assassination is an attempt to tarnish [or destroy] a person’s reputation. It may involve exaggeration or manipulation of facts to present an untrue picture of the targeted person. It is a form of defamation and can be a form of ad hominem argument.

The Irreversible Effects

For living individuals targeted by character assassination attempts, this may result in being rejected by his community, family, or members of his or her living or work environment. Such acts are often difficult to reverse or rectify, continue reading…

A massive toy factory at the North Pole, operated by Mr and Mrs Claus (she has a non-speaking role) and hundreds of tiny people forced into hard labor.

And for what? To build toys so as to fulfill the un-earned wishes of so many spoiled-rotten kids.

Will this never end?

Why are we bringing our children into this world with such a dichotomy? We lie to them about this Santa-character for years, ignore the real meaning of Christmas, and then wonder why they begin to lie.

Is Christmas for their benefit? Sure, they’ll get into it by the time they pass toddler status into pre-schoolers, but that’s also the precise time that initial parenting is so important: Laying a solid foundation, clearly differentiating right from wrong.

Just about then, we tell them that Santa’s not real after all. “We lied to you, kids, but don’t you start lying to us!”  They see us smile, yet they do not see anyone get in trouble for our major, deliberate deception played upon their feelings for years. Though during that same period, those kids had been warned often not to ever be dishonest … hey, what’s up with this?

Single Dadhood.

I raised my kids alone since they were just 4 and 2. My adversity to lying was passed on to them by both verbal requirements and by example. The three of us enjoyed a wonderful childhood together, continue reading…

Continued from Part 3 …

2001 Nov 11, Sun PM

Karan, the super lady who originally drove me to the hospital on the previous Wednesday, was there to pick me up and take me home. After the hour drive, I asked her to stop by the post office, so I could check my mail. When I returned to the car, and just about to get in, Karan screamed.

The back of my shirt and pants were saturated in blood, but when I had gotten out of the car, my back was dry. Apparently the pressure of leaning against the seat back was enough to contain the blood flow until I got up.

Karan immediately demanded to take me back up to the hospital, but I refused. The top surgeon said it was OK for me to go home, so I felt if we made the drive all the way back up, they’d just turn us around and send me home again. She reluctantly obliged and took me home. continue reading…

UPDATED: 2011 Jun 20

2010 Jul 13

I just received a very unexpected note from Christopher — the old kind of note: in an envelope with a stamp. For those not familiar, Christopher is the guy that my soon-to-be ex-wife Julie was having an affair with, then married, when she left me and our two kids in 1995. I was granted full physical and legal custody. Within five years, they added three more messed-up kids to the planet.

That’s not what he was apologizing for …

Reading this letter immediately reminded me of a statement Christopher made back during the divorce. Now, 15 years later, Christopher’s letter completely contradicts his previous recorded comment … or does he apologize for it?  continue reading…

When looking at your sociopath, all you see is another person. What you will never see is that person’s history. Their history is like a hostility throttle. Depending on what they’ve gotten away with in the past determines how they will respond to an attempted exposure now.

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No matter who you are, how powerful you are, what profession you’re in, how smart you think you are, how many friends you think you have … no matter what you think you’ve got that no one else has, try to understand the risk is too high to expose, or take on a sociopath or psychopath.

Try to accept that your best chance of maintaining your quality of life is to forget it and move on. The odds are entirely against you.*

It’s what you don’t know.

This sociopath used you, and your innocent actions resulted in someone losing something (the who and what are not important here). It was by complete chance that you discovered the sham. The sociopath is currently unaware that you know.

You don’t want to see it happen to anyone else. From your good, honest upbringing, you want to expose this guy and make him pay for damages, so as to make sure he won’t do it again.

You believe in accountibility.

Very admirable.

Your sociopath first recognized his outwardly differences continue reading…

 
“… What’s my best option?”
 
All you need is this one answer …
 
Read this thoroughly. By the time you reach the end, you will hopefully realize that “avenge” is the worst thing you can do … don’t even consider it.  Your best option can be summed-up very briefly — leave town.

If anyone else encourages you to take on the sociopath, supporting you by saying you can do it — distance yourself from him or her, too.  Don’t argue, just distance. The risk you’d be incurring is far beyond whatever solace you think you’d gain.   continue reading…

Google search: “my best friend is a sociopath”
The response to that is “likely not.”

The search string above is a fairly common search used with Google and Yahoo. Actually, it’s too common … it shows just how many people completely misunderstand the traits of a sociopath. Sociopaths do NOT have any real friends, they do not want friends, nor do they have the emotions that are required to be a friend. Instead of friends, a sociopath wants loyal followers, people who will do anything to help the sociopath achieve their own narcissistic goals. They gain followers by using an act — known as their “persona”— pretending to be an upright, trusting person, and a great friend. Their persona is nothing like their real personality. But they are quite believable.

Mutually Exclusive Terms

The terms “friend” and “sociopath” are mutually exclusive. What does that mean? It means you can have a real friend, and you may know a sociopath, but you cannot have a real friend who’s also a sociopath. What you can be is a loyal follower, or even a disciple to a sociopath, and as such, they will treat you as if you were a friend … but it is not sincere. As long as you provide some value to them, something they need, value as simple as companionship, they will keep you around. But once they tire of your companionship, you will be left with no doubt.  continue reading…